If your lady is perfect but......sex is WACK, what do u do?

Discussion in 'The Locker Room' started by High Value Man, May 16, 2021.

  1. Scaaar

    Scaaar All Star

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    I definitely feel you breh. I tried coaching and she took it the wrong way like she couldn't please me which was true but damn I'm trying to make it work :francis:
     
  2. FukkaPaidEmail

    FukkaPaidEmail Hoodrat whisperer

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    If I can nut I don’t care :dwillhuh:


    I’m not going to give up ALL that because of
    Some p*ssy :gucci:
     
  3. GhettoTeK

    GhettoTeK Sol No.2

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    Tell her she’s wack bro
     
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  4. Primetime21

    Primetime21 This my city Supporter

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    You should have included this in the OP :comeon: The real number is probably 20-25
     
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  5. ThrobbingHood

    ThrobbingHood “This picture proves I’m not racist”

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    It’s crazy how the onus is on men for good sex, when I’ve had women with a box that was trash and the riding skills of a retarded fish out of water.
     
  6. Booksnrain

    Booksnrain We are Pragmatists. We do what makes sense.

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    :russ::russ::russ::russ:
     
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  7. Dray5K

    Dray5K Enjoying a Long Night of Solace✌ Supporter

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    I don't mean to be "that guy," but if she's cooking, cleaning, and still finding time to split the bills 50/50, then what the fukk is the dude doing in this scenario?
     
  8. gtj1982

    gtj1982 All Star

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    It's what I do. :manny:
     
  9. semicko82

    semicko82 Superstar Supporter

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    [QUOTE="High Value Man, post: 41947213, member: 7466"]She is a dyme (could lose 10 pounds),cooks, cleans, pays her share of bills 50/50, nice personality............but sex is wack.




    Grown man, mature answers please[/QUOTE]
    :dwillhuh:
     
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  10. Booksnrain

    Booksnrain We are Pragmatists. We do what makes sense.

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    procrastination ACTIVATED

    I'm supposed to be working on a manuscript that's due at 2:00pm today.

    But fukk it. Why not troubleshoot somebody's sex life!:troll:

    Anyhoo!!!
    Got some questions OP.

    There's a long and short answer to this.
    The short answer is communication and both of you need to get to know each other better.

    The long answer is below. I provided some questions and spoilered the lengthy clarifications so you could troubleshoot stuff on your own. Just some stuff to think about.
    Here's what I'm curious about.

    What happens before sex?
    A lotta men and women don't realize how cerebral sex is for women. Seduction starts waaaay before you hit the bed and having dikk and balls around all of a sudden sometimes isn't a turn on.:manny: (There's some asshurt poster just waiting to be offended by this blow to their ego but I'm sorry, outside of an emotional context, nobody cares about your scrotum. And pussies don't necessarily look like works of art when divorced from human sexuality either. Sensuality context matters.)
    Solution: Start doing more things through the day that build sexual tension and awareness if you aren't doing so already. Also communicate to her that you desire that for yourself as well. You should never stop seducing each other.

    Also, what do you know about her sexually? Have ya'll had any conversations about kinks and desires? What makes her feel sexy?
    Every woman has some shyt deep down that they wanna try but you can blame your fellow men and prudish pick-mes for creating a society that shames women out of their sexuality and makes them feel bad or slutty if they explore themselves sexually. Then when they get into relationships, some men are flabbergasted that there isn't a switch that they can automatically turn on to become instantaneous pornstars, after chicks have been inundated with a lifetime of social norms that tell them there's only two sexual paths for women (virgin/whore). Unfortunately, too many women are idiots who still listen to this bullshyt in spite of a whole movement aimed at empowering them, but old habits die hard and here we are.
    This virgin/whore complex causes all kinds of issues people have to work through later on in relationships. Some women be having whole entire freaks hidden and won't communicate their desires because they scared their man will look at them differently. And to their credit, some men are idiots and WILL judge their girls if they wanna do kinky shyt. They think their chicks aren't supposed to be smutted out and think that is reserved for side chicks. Soooo they end up having boring sex with their girlfriends, resenting them for the boring sex, and then cheating. But when girlfriend ends up getting turned out by her work husband that has her legs over her head while he's eating ass from the back and she cosplaying as a dead fish with you...then we gotta problem.
    Solution: Communication and ensuring your relationship is a safe place for both of you to communicate your sexual needs properly. So it should be a judgement-free zone for both of you because men get shamed out of their sexuality too. Which is just fukking weird to me. Why can't people be freaks together? I don't get it.


    When you say the p*ssy is trash, is she not getting wet? Not tight enough? Too tight?

    Technical features of sex ARE important but usually wack sex has its origins in deeper issues. If there are some physical problems going on, provided both of you are willing to try new things, positions, lube, extended foreplay those things can be an easy fix.
    Fixing the possible deeper issues is the problem. Sex is better for women when the emotional component is there. We can still have sex without emotions, but when we do its wack and just a chore or something to muddle through. The difference in sex for a woman when she is really feeling a guy vs just tolerating a guy is like night and day. Hell, we can cum harder just off the fantasy of a guy and a dildo, than one we might be with in real life that we feel so-so about. Soaking sheets off the mere thought of a dude vs. dry as a desert with someone you are with. So there might be an issue with attraction there.
    Solution: Communication again. If the issues are technical and within her power to control, communicating lovingly what's missing and go from there. If she's too tight, ya'll need more foreplay especially if you are larger. If she isn't tight enough or you are smaller, do some kegels and try different positions.
    If attraction is the underlying problem, that's not really on you. That's on her about why she is with you. Which brings me to my next set of questions below.

    Do you feel like she likes you? Do her eyes light up when you walk in the room? Does she always want to be with you? Is she financially dependent on you?
    I ask these questions because if she is with you for any reason beyond just wanting to be with YOU, then sex isn't going to be a priority. If anything it will become a bargaining tool and you don't want to be in that situation.
    Solution: Be honest with yourself and read the signs if she is just tolerating your presence to fill a void in her own life (i.e. loneliness, codependency, financial dependency), or if she actually enjoys your company and desires you.

    What do you do for her? What is the quality of the intimacy in your relationship?
    Intimacy is different than sex. Sex without intimacy is like a chicken wings on an eagle. You can do a lotta flapping but you're really not gonna get anywhere. Intimacy provides the context for the expression of desire physically. Are ya'll affectionate towards each other? Is there a core of love between the two of you? Tenderness? I'm always shocked by the amount of people I see together who don't demonstrate any affection towards each other. I'm talking about no little rubs, pecks. No cuddling or forehead kisses. No playfulness or laughter. And Ive had some express that this is the case behind closed doors too.
    So in those situations what is supposed to happen? After ignoring each other all day long, ya'll just supposed to whip it out, fukk and go to sleep? shyt seems nightmarish to me. Or maybe thats just because I grew up in an affectionate family. But its hard to just want to fukk somebody if there is no intimacy and this can lead to cheating or feeling trapped.
    Solution: If the relationship lacks intimacy, its pretty simple to build this back into your interactions. You guys need to touch more outside of a sexual context. Are you friends? Do you like her company? Learn more about each other and grow comfortable in one another. I'm assuming she is worth it, otherwise, why are you with her?

    Happy Humping OP! I hope you and your boo fukk the hell outta each other and smut each other out! Life is too short to be with somebody you don't enjoy sexual intimacy with. If I gotta go to multiple partners to get my needs met then why even be in a relationship. Seems like a prison that locked from the inside.

    Peace!
     
  11. sayyestothis

    sayyestothis #MadeInBaltimoreCreated4Jamaica

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    Breh get her to build u out a spank bank. If she a dime im sure her vids are sexy.

    Easy compromise.
     
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  12. DropTopDoc

    DropTopDoc I’m a Doctor despite what you think

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    yep
     
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  13. RennisDeynolds

    RennisDeynolds I am untethered and my rage knows no bounds!

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    Who knew the pareto principle could apply to women
     
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  14. SunZoo

    SunZoo The Legendary Super Sapien. Supporter

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    Yes, we are animals.

    There are times when our instinctual selves can kick in and guide right action. But the world we live in doesn't really make a hell of a lot of room for people to tap into that aspects of themselves. A lot of us are just talking/walking heads floating around from task to task, entertainment to entertainment.

    But this notion that all things concerning sexuality can be left up to instinct and no communication is asinine. And if OP were to step into his power, he could guide the sexual interaction toward his desired outcome.

    But YOU gotta know who YOU are as a sexual being first before you start trying to criticize or even direct traffic. And that has to go beyond showing up and going through bodily motions. You tap into knowledge of self and the sex will be what you make it.

    Hell...it already is.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2021
  15. Afro

    Afro Student of life Supporter

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    You can't instruct someone through sex like an actual teacher :mjlol:


    You gotta veil it within compliments.


    "I like when you do X, makes me feel Y"

    "Thats really good, use your tongue more, oooooh :noah:


    Even if you don't mean it, you build their confidence up enough, makes it easier to train them.:manny:


    I enjoy the process, guess I'm weird like that :yeshrug:
     
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