And 4 years is being generous. If after 4 years you havent figured out they're not the one, what the hell are you still doing with them.
That's why I say most people aren't in love, they're in relationship. Afraid of being alone? It's like volunteer imprisonment. And having kids is like a felony which will stay on your record for years.
And breaking up with someone after a long ass relationship will scar you consiously or subconsiously for a long ass time.
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I've been in a 7 year relationship that was highly dysfunctional and as stupid as it sounds, that is what made me stick with it for so long, while at the same time, thankfully, prevented me from tying the knot. Basically, my girl at the time was suffering from extreme low self esteem, she was highly manipulative, jealous and emotionally abusive. She had a very difficult relationship with her father, who was an a$$hole and had left the family for another woman. Instead of making amends with his kids, he emotionally blackmailed them, so everything she did was basically behavior she learned from her dad. Being very young at the time, I thought I needed to help her, since the early stages of our relationship had been great and since I thought I understood where her behavior was coming from. She also repeatedly told me, that she was going to commit that if she should ever loose me. Of course being older now and having went through this, I know that this is a common pattern of relationships with bipolar people. But at the time I didn't. So yes, in hindsight, I should have ended this relationship a lot sooner than I did, but I at the same time, I think that when you're in your early twenties, there is a lot that you don't know about relationships and people in general. As I said, Im thankful that I was wise enough to know that marrying her would have been a disaster. My mistake was thinking that she would change. Oh, and the bolded is very true. It took me a long ass time to recouperate from that relationship. As far as being in love goes, I don't think you can be in love with anybody for more that one or two years. Being in love is different than loving somebody. That's also why a lot of relationships fail, people don't realize that the butterflys don't last forever.
are you ever gonna marry me?
