http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/61324-i-cheated-now-im-being-blackmailed.html
I cheated and now I'm being blackmailed
I wish I had found this site under better circumstances but unfortunately, I didn't. Now from what I have read, I know I will probably catch a lot of mess for what I did. I am here because I am in a really bad situation and I need some advice on what to do.
I have been married for 8 years. We have had good times and bad times but for the most part, we always worked through it. We have 3 sons that are 10 months, 6, and 7. I won't give too much back story so I can make this short. My husband has a guy that he works out with. They are also co-workers. My husband is good friends with the guy and sometimes tells me what the guy does. his friend is a womanizer that sleeps with a lot of women. My husband told me how he cheated on his wife and how he is the biggest player on his job.
I thought the guy was pretty disgusting just by what my husband had told me. One day, he showed up to out house to go out with my husband and I was shocked by how handsome he was. He was a real gentleman, in shape, and had a lot of confidence. I could tell why so many women had fallen for him.
To go off topic for a minute, my husband has a problem with saying no. If someone asks him to work later or extra, my husband will always do it but complain later. It really pisses me off and he doesn't come off as being the strong man that I once knew him to be. On top of this, me and my husband have been a bit distant since he has now been working a lot more.
Back in June, me and my husband decided that we will dedicate one day a week to us. No kids or responsibiities, that time would be set aside to work on our relationship and to get closer. So in August, I had a big Sunday set aside for us. The kids were with my parents and me and my husband were supposed to have sex and go out. You can probably guess what happened. He got called in to work and it pissed me off because he could have said no. He chose to say yes.
He said he was sorry but left me there all alone. He was so much in a rush to get to work that he left his keycard at home. He called me and said that his friend would pick it up for him since he was in the area and had to come to work also.
His buddy showed up for the card and I invited him in. It was the first time that I was alone with him so I made chit chat to try to get to know him. We sat and talked for about 30 minutes. I know it was wrong but all I could think about was all the sexual things that my husband told me about him. It was hard for me to carry on a conversation without asking him if it were all true. Somehow, the conversation turned to sex and next thing I knew, I was giving him oral sex in our living room. We also had sex that day. He later told my husband that he had a flat tire so that's why he was late to work.
This affair has been going on since August. looking back, I feel bad for living this lie and lying to my husband. Me and his friend hooked up at a hotel a few times and he has came over a few times while my husband was working.
Throughout all of this, I felt guilty. Earlier this month, I was playing with my boys and I just started crying. I felt that I failed them as a mother and what I was doing was not fair to them. I know that it is best for me to tell my husband but I don't know if I should. This may hurt him so much since that is his good friend.
Whatever I did, I knew that I had to break off the affair. I called him on last week and told him that we can no longer see each other. I told him that my family is too precious to lose and that I can't sleep with him anymore. I thought he would understand but he actually shocked me. He told me that this sexual arrangement will be over when he says that it is over. He says that if I try to break it off, he will tell my husband everything and say that I seduced him. He also described in detail all my tattoos and this is something that would make my husband know he was telling the truth. This hurt me bad and I just didn't know what to do. Although I have been depressed about the whole situation, I have seen his friend twice since the conversation and we had sex both times.
I don't want my husband to find out about this from his best friend. the problem is that I am afraid to tell him myself because I don't know what his reaction will be. I don't want him to leave me and I want to make this relationship work. What should I do to fix this?? His friend says he is serious about tell him and he said that it is over when he says it is over. Help please.
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did she expect?
