Your life is so full of twists and turns.
But, just so you know, this is going to end badly.
I don't know you, but from your posts you don't seem like someone who is grounded enough to make a marriage work.
I could be wrong. I hope I'm wrong. But I sense that this is not really love or partnership, but a desperate grab at something you think is going to bring you happiness.
The problem is, though, you can't go into marriage or any relationship really expecting it to make you happy. It won't. A marriage is 80% duty (paying bills, raising kids, etc), 10% fights, and 10% good-times, roughly.
All you're signing up for is dealing with someone else's mess and a series of endless obligations.
Again, I hope I'm wrong. I wish you the best; but I fear for the worst.