Lewis Black
Superstar
I kick it with Jesus when I have free time. He said he doesn't really give a shyt what ppl believe. He lets shyt happen to y'all because he doesn't like u and it's just now beginning to dawn on some of u.
He said real ngaz were getting fed to lions for the faith back in the day and u fukkboys would sell ur soul to Satan to keep a Hot Pocket from burning ur mouth. He said that not only does God ignore ur wack ass prayers, sometimes He makes the exact opposite happen just to try and pressure u into killing urself so ur Bliggity Black ass can hurry up n spend eternity in hell with ur wack ass Izod rocking cousins that got killed in a drive-by in '94.
I have camcorder footage of Jesus holding ur ex-girlfriend's aborted fetus saying "Did I do that?" like Urkel while we watched u curse God. Me, God n Jesus be kickin it like GoodFellas, drunk as fukk laughing until our stomachs hurt while u fruitlessly pray. As soon as ur ass says Amen Jesus n God be lookin back n forth at each other wondering who used the Late For My Lunch Break excuse last time u prayed.
shyt real, bro. U might as well pray to L. Ron or some shyt cuz the God of Abraham gets his jollies off swag surfin on ur Doubting Thomas ass.![]()
Something tells me you're not this disrespectful in real life, like being on the internet has given you the super soldier syrum or something ion know
