But, I know that I still have to be
patriarchal. Because what women like to champion, and what they actually are attracted to, tend to conflict, for about 75-85% of the time. ... So as a man, you have to be a good enough person to respect her, but still chauvinistic enough to put your foot down and set boundaries, even if it risks coming across as patronizing her. (And the six pack part is typical hypocrisy.)
But yeah man. rep. I've been realizing this shyt for the past 2 years myself, and I have come to terms with it and know how to adjust.
@Booksnrain @HarlemHottie @CarmelBarbie get in here
Sorry I missed this the first go round, but how has this process gone for you?
Those are the worst offenders of this shyt.
They’re all afraid of missing out and losing their “freedoms”. They don’t want to be tied down for anything.
I agreed about strong morals, not religion. Religious people, imo, can be loosely broken into two groups: those who were moral already and just needed a little guidance/ structure/ fellowship, and those who truly need Jesus, the church, Tuesday night bible study, Thursday night choir practice, retreats, and extracurriculars, just to keep they mind off sin. Guess which is the majority.
About losing freedoms. I know it's become popular in the hoh era to be very firm re: body count, but let me say this: you don't want a chick straight off the porch. You want her to have had a SHORT (two yrs, not two decades) hoe phase. Otherwise, she will always vaguely yearn for a sexual freedom she missed and specifically yearn for sexual knowledge of different types of men.
By the first, I mean that she'll always regret missing that bar hopping, thot with your girls era, where y'all all get dressed at somebody house, take pics, etc. It's an energy and a vibe, and you'll never know it bc now your all friends are old, or married, or pregnant, or sickly. The thotting and bopping done dried up. But some of this energy can be replicated, even as a respectable married woman.
The second is more dangerous bc it can't be replicated in a controlled environment: she regrets not having experienced other men. Or enough other men. Maybe there was a certain type she never pulled, but now, ten yrs into marriage, he's her work husband and whaddya know. She's getting fukked, that's what you know. And she might even sincerely feel bad, but she NEEDED that knowledge to breathe, to feel fully adult and knowledgeable of her surroundings, to not feel sexually immature.
This is the conundrum modern culture hath wrought. It's like, let's say you got five Eves. The good one who don't want the apple will be actively shamed for her naivete, clowned exhaustively, made a pariah and possibly replaced with Lilith, goddammit, just going all out with it. We are social creatures and exclusion from the group is anathema, social death. This is how 'women pass on culture'
intra-generationally, whether that culture is good, bad, or indifferent (see: bbls). There's a reason that married women traditionally didn't keep single friends, but there's no longer too much choice for bw. (But you'll notice, other women tend to get married in clusters, ie, an entire clique all getting married within a 2-3 yr span.)