Im tired of life

[Amo Husserl]

You have not defined yourself.
Maybe you are in the wrong position to benefit from your efforts.
Missing many opportunities I came to see I was not in the right place to get them.
You need to expand your reach with resourcefulness.
Because you are limiting yourself with ideas about how you should be.
Already messed up on opportunity putting something together for myself.
I see I have other ways to recoup my loss.
Black men have survived worse.

 

[Swahili P'Bitek]

Move out of your discomfort zone and try new things, talk to people, and most importantly, try to make everything you do enjoyable, and count your blessings.

 

[TheKongoEmpire]

Get your hormones checked. Depression from low-test is very real and common. That said, are you form the Continent? Have you been? I regained a new purpose for life when I returned form my 488 days there. I'm only in Babylon for the money and resources. I go to Afrika for the humanity and love.

 

[Magic Mulatto]

This chune constantly playin’ in my head 24/7/365…

 

[africngiant]

i can barely even speak to my family anymore, they all hate me but hide it. my little sis is the only one i can be myself to. i can’t be too positive because im the elephant in the room, i can’t be too mad or else that’s a problem too.

im about to be that guy that irish goodbyes every get-together. nothing i do is good enough for this world.

 

[Stir Fry]

i can barely even speak to my family anymore, they all hate me but hide it. my little sis is the only one i can be myself to. i can’t be too positive because im the elephant in the room, i can’t be too mad or else that’s a problem too.

im about to be that guy that irish goodbyes every get-together. nothing i do is good enough for this world.

IIRC, you're still young and it sounds like you just haven't found your lane yet. Like I mentioned before, spread your wings and make your own way in this world. Just because they're blood, it doesn't mean that you owe your family anything. Become your own man and the rest will follow. God Blesses the child that has his own. Remember that

 

[Fill Collins]

@africngiant tl;dr - It's totally OK to take a break and you're only supposed to worry about yourself.

OP, I'm at a crossroads in life – I don't want to be here at all, but I don't wanna kill myself either

Life isn't fun, we can agree on that, but my ol boy told me this growing up: All life is is just getting kicked in the nuts every time you put your guard down; you're supposed to block that motherfukker and hit back and hit back hard

I absolutely hate where I'm at and I hate putting in work to fix my situation but if I don't, I'm just gonna be here saying the same shyt about wasting my life.

You don't ask to be in your family, you have to make your own these days, that'll take time.

You're NOT obligated to please, help, uplift, save or do anything for anyone but yourself; but making connections, doing favors for ppl that benefit you, etc. can and will help in the long run. Part of Ben Franklin's success was gaining trust, he borrowed a book from someone important and gained their trust after returning it...then he asked for a pen...then another lil thing, then a favor and another...

Make a list, it could be anything; your goals, your fears, your roadblocks, as long as you're letting it out, that'll help too. Godspeed.