Impossible situation...

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

I kinda already know the answer but wanted to get perspective...contrary to popular belief men have many nuggets of knowledge to share when it comes to relationships.

Currently talking to a great guy. Have been hanging out for about 3 months. Dude has really wormed his way into my heart and we've literally spent nearly everyday together either chilling at my place watching anime and him helping me not to panic when playing Dead Space or chilling at his place.

He acts like a boyfriend. Texts me everyday, let's me cook for him, takes me out, took me to meet his mother, wants me to meet his ex-wife and baby mama, checks on me when I'm sick.

Just one problem.
He's been hurt by past relationships so he has told me upfront that he isn't ready for anything serious.
I told him that I could respect that and give him a chance to get settled b4 he jumped into something else. He actually needs that time to chill and be a bachelor.

Problem is, I don't have sex outside of relationships and I think resentment is building up. Only been intimate with one other and we were pretty serious.

My problem is I love myself too much to be anyone's fukk buddy. Besides which I would be entering into a situation where I would be giving my all to someone who is unwilling to do the same for me.

I don't see this working out...but it's gonna suck losing him...
Ole fine azz...

Thoughts?

 

[Dwolf]

Dont fukk him and if he cant deal with that bush him. Its kinda a no brainer

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

See I know but this is when all those shaming tactics come back to haunt us....
"You gon be by urself..."
Our emotions work against with shyt like this. But ur right. It is obvious. If he can't deal I gotta keep it movin. I can't even lie to myself and pretend that I could ever be okay in the fuk buddy position. Some other chick gotta play dat part.

Dont fukk him and if he cant deal with that bush him. Its kinda a no brainer

ee

 

[Colicat]

Ex wife and a baby mother.... leave him... he is damaged goods...

nothing good will come of it...

 

[BaldingSoHard]

I kinda already know the answer but wanted to get perspective...contrary to popular belief men have many nuggets of knowledge to share when it comes to relationships.

Currently talking to a great guy. Have been hanging out for about 3 months. Dude has really wormed his way into my heart and we've literally spent nearly everyday together either chilling at my place watching anime and him helping me not to panic when playing Dead Space or chilling at his place.

He acts like a boyfriend. Texts me everyday, let's me cook for him, takes me out, took me to meet his mother, wants me to meet his ex-wife and baby mama, checks on me when I'm sick.

Just one problem.
He's been hurt by past relationships so he has told me upfront that he isn't ready for anything serious.
I told him that I could respect that and give him a chance to get settled b4 he jumped into something else. He actually needs that time to chill and be a bachelor.

Problem is, I don't have sex outside of relationships and I think resentment is building up. Only been intimate with one other and we were pretty serious.

My problem is I love myself too much to be anyone's fukk buddy. Besides which I would be entering into a situation where I would be giving my all to someone who is unwilling to do the same for me.

I don't see this working out...but it's gonna suck losing him...
Ole fine azz...

Thoughts?

Two things.

1. Stop putting sex on a pedestal. What I mean is, giving him the box shouldn't equate to "giving him your all". Sex is just one aspect of any relationship. If that's "your all" then you need to work on yourself. I know that's not what you meant, but I feel like your mind is sort of indoctrinated to hold out the ass because that's the greatest part of you. If he's a quality dude who's feeling you, there should be give and take.

2. I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you love yourself too much to be someone's fukk buddy. I think this is actually part of the first point. Would you not be getting something out of it as well?

The only real thing here is I can see you being unwilling to fukk him cause you know your emotions will swell to a hundred trillion once he penetrates you. And if you're afraid he'd hit and quit, then my advice would be to stay away. The rest of that nonsense is nonsense.

 

[Mac Brown]

Two things.

1. Stop putting sex on a pedestal. What I mean is, giving him the box shouldn't equate to "giving him your all". Sex is just one aspect of any relationship. If that's "your all" then you need to work on yourself. I know that's not what you meant, but I feel like your mind is sort of indoctrinated to hold out the ass because that's the greatest part of you. If he's a quality dude who's feeling you, there should be give and take.

2. I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you love yourself too much to be someone's fukk buddy. I think this is actually part of the first point. Would you not be getting something out of it as well?

The only real thing here is I can see you being unwilling to fukk him cause you know your emotions will swell to a hundred trillion once he penetrates you. And if you're afraid he'd hit and quit, then my advice would be to stay away. The rest of that nonsense is nonsense.

More women need to understand this...

 

[Ego Noir]

If you think holding out will mean anything youre mistaken.

If you think fukking him will help things youre mistaken.

If you think staying around and not fukking him he will stay celibate, youre sorely mistaken.

If you think the baggage of 2 women + a child is not THREE red flags, youre mistaken.

 

[Dwolf]

See I know but this is when all those shaming tactics come back to haunt us....
"You gon be by urself..."
Our emotions work against with shyt like this. But ur right. It is obvious. If he can't deal I gotta keep it movin. I can't even lie to myself and pretend that I could ever be okay in the fuk buddy position. Some other chick gotta play dat part.

ee

Ex wife and baby mama tho You was gonna fukk around and be that third wheel

 

[bcrusaderw]

More women need to understand this...

Then when they switch to these tactics you'll call them whores and sluts. @Booksnrain don't let these dudes guilt you into changing your views about sex. The way you feel about it is fine, and so is their way. You just need to find the one you can live with. Listen to Maya Angelou. When people show you who they are believe them. He will never commit to you. He already told you that. You're good enough to fukk, but not good enough to commit to?

 

[MAKAVELI25]

3 months? Son is a better man than me

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

See this is just what I needed to get me outta the blues zone. Y'all real and I luv it.
I've never gotten caught up b4 so I'm in no danger but it just sucks having to start from jump again when ur personality clicks so well with somebody. Guess I gotta find a new Skyrim boo. Lmao!

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Ex wife and a baby mother.... leave him... he is damaged goods...

nothing good will come of it...

Yeah that's what I'm thinking too. But I hate dismissing people immediately b/c good people make mistakes but the problem with this one is that he's let his mistakes win. On to the next one.

 

[Remote]

Ex wife and a baby mother.... leave him... he is damaged goods...

nothing good will come of it...

 

[Ego Noir]

Then when they switch to these tactics you'll call them whores and sluts. @Booksnrain don't let these dudes guilt you into changing your views about sex. The way you feel about it is fine, and so is their way. You just need to find the one you can live with. Listen to Maya Angelou. When people show you who they are believe them. He will never commit to you. He already told you that. You're good enough to fukk, but not good enough to commit to?

I can agree with this. Turning sex into an meaningless act between two dogs is not a good way to think.

 

[Remote]

Two things.

1. Stop putting sex on a pedestal. What I mean is, giving him the box shouldn't equate to "giving him your all". Sex is just one aspect of any relationship. If that's "your all" then you need to work on yourself. I know that's not what you meant, but I feel like your mind is sort of indoctrinated to hold out the ass because that's the greatest part of you. If he's a quality dude who's feeling you, there should be give and take.

2. I'm not sure what you mean when you say that you love yourself too much to be someone's fukk buddy. I think this is actually part of the first point. Would you not be getting something out of it as well?

The only real thing here is I can see you being unwilling to fukk him cause you know your emotions will swell to a hundred trillion once he penetrates you. And if you're afraid he'd hit and quit, then my advice would be to stay away. The rest of that nonsense is nonsense.