Aight people, I'm back. Crazy day today. Wife had us do this multi part tour. Us, and a gang of Euro cacs

, including this weird Russian cat who did crazy shyt the whole time, and English was beyond struggle. Here's a pic of his Moscow 11's I couldn't help but laugh at
Also, as is the trend, got hit up for money at every possible moment smh.
First up was a farm where we got to feed chickens and see some other animals. I got a kick out of it solely because I'm a city boy through and through, and I've never seen chickens up close. They probably get fed like this all day, so they were extra friendly and ran up on us lol.
So then, we went to this hut where they make statues out of limestone and other good rocks they have there. It was like a time share presentation, just shorter. The stuff was nice, but we packed light, and have no room for that shyt...had to control the wife. She seems determined to give away as much money as possible. Tipping everybody with their sob stories and shyt
Then we got a demo of cock fighting

, which is their 3rd national sport behind baseball and basketball
They have little arenas for this shyt. Dead serious smh.
Next, we got taken to another hut with a local woman who make coffee and cocoa from fresh coffee and cacao beans she grows. Brehs, not exaggerating, but this was the best coffee I ever had in my life

A little sugar (local cane sugar

), no cream, and it was GODLIKE. Cocoa was similarly good. She hand ground and brewed some on the spot. Then, of course, we were offered to buy some. Wife snapped up 5 containers. Wasn't even mad
Then, we went on the big part, a hike to the waterfall/jump off shyt. Cactivity for real

Found out we had to walk through streams and get wet
I had on my J's

, so I had to rent water shoes. I like to call them the What Are Those 11s

(karma maybe for laughing at the Euro cac...)
We then went on a 25 minute hike, mostly looking like this
My feet were dying on those fukking rocks like 10 minutes in. Agony. Finally got to the "waterfall"
Then had to wait 5 minutes (20) for the cacs that decided to jump and slide off that shyt to catch up and do their thing so we could go back. Finally, after that, we went back, I fukked myself up more and got back. I have never appreciated my Jordans more. After that ordeal, it felt like I was walking on air. Damage was done though.
Next, we ate lunch. Whatever. It was iight, but clearly some thrown together shyt for tourists.
Finally, we went to a cigar store where they grow and make their own cigars. Hand rolled in a natural leaf, dipped in cognac for a sweet taste

. Seriously, the ferment theirs in wine, and fruit for flavoring I have zero interest in smoking, but was interested to see how it was done. The demo was cool
And then, as usual at these places, we were offered Mamajuana, their favorite drink. They get you buzzing before trying to sell you shyt

So, right after that, we get a sales pitch and are funneled into the gift shop, with more statues and art, like everywhere else(these people are all clearly in cahoots, everywhere is the same shyt).
Here is a video showing some of the wares for sale
After that, we had a long ass ride back to the condo, where I am now icing, popping pills, and silently cursing my wife for getting us into this shyt.