Is being frank with children about what we know about sex and death the first step

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

Celebrate Santa Claus, brehs

 

[2Quik4UHoes]

Great question, but I think it depends on the child. I won't baby any of my kids, but I think my first born in particular is gonna get the game early so that any kids that come after can be properly guided.

 

[TheDarceKnight]

to world peace and prosperity?

age appropriate of course (meaning can they understand the level of detail being relayed)
but no lies about either

Dapped and pos rep. 100% yes, all day!

They're 2 of the biggest things that we're afraid of in our culture. We're terrified of dying, so much so that we try to pretend it's not even a real thing. The death issue is a little more difficult IMO because people have a ton of different opinions on what happens when you die, and science can't even always agree on what exactly death even is, and when it occurs, but I'll post on that later.

The sex education in this country is ridiculous, so I'll keep it to sex for now.

I wish this was on Youtube but I saw a documentary about the differences in how they treat sex in Europe and here. They asked an American girl what she would think if a guy she knew had a condom in his wallet. She said she'd think he was a creep, man whore, player, etc. They asked the Swedish girl, and she laughed and said "I think it's common sense, and I think anyone that didn't keep a condom handy was being irresponsible. In fact I always carry one myself just to be safe."

These girls were both like 16-17. That pretty much says it all. Because what the American girl doesn't know, because she's only been taught that sex is scary and causes diseases and pregnancy...is that she's going to get the urge to have sex, if she hasn't already, and she's going to do it (if she hasn't already.) And if that dude doesn't have a condom, or if she doesn't, then it might not stop her, and in a case of perfect irony, she will actually end up pregnant or with an STD.

To take it a step further, I think at least at the college level there should be actual instructional sex classes. fukk it. Why not? Most people suck at fukking. To get good at sex you have to actually give a shyt, and then seek out partners or material, then practice and put it to use. If people are having good sex, they aren't going to be as tense, angry, pent up, hostile, aggressive, I'd even go so far as to say dangerous. How come we can have movies where 800 people get blown apart with guns but any sex scene not missionary or nudity below the chest is NC-17?

Makes no sense. I dunno, maybe I'm a hippy. My mom is a nurse, so my birds and the bees talk was in depth. Was it awkward? Yeah, very awkward. On the other hand, I was g-spot hunting when most kids were fumbling around trying to awkwardly finger someone. I was having good sex that was also safe, and I don't see why it has to be different for anyone if people can stop being so uptight.

On the other hand, if I have a daughter... I don't really wanna have that talk....

I guess I'd cross that bridge when I got to it.

EDIT: I especially think this is important for men. Men don't get taught fukk all when it comes to dealing with women. Men need to learn some basic skills when it comes to actually having success with women. Men are naturally expected to initiate things, but don't get any parental instruction, and peers aren't much help. Most men that are good with women at a very young age (I wasn't) are just naturals, and then in adulthood men either figure things out or end up lonely and sexually frustrated. I'd bet a good 3/4s of men are downright awful with the opposite sex. I think a new study came out that said straight women only orgasm 20-30% percent throughout their sexual encounters? That's sad. On the flip side, gay women came the most often.

I know this applies to women too, I guess, but it's straight up easier for men to cum than women, and if a woman really doesn't want to be sexually frustrated she can easily get laid. Men have to put in at least some work, even if they have the skills.

 

[ltheghost]

Teach children the Golden Rule and live it. Also have that talk early with your sons about how America treats Black Men so they won't be surprised when they have their #nikkawakeupcall. I think the next generation needs to be prepared for New America and are going to have be ready for the fight for control of the nation. It's all going to change in the next couple of years. Population size. Ethnic make up. Whites will be the minority, how will they consolidate power? Because you know they aren't going to allow minorities to vote them out of power.

 

[same damn lo sweater]

great thread. people are way too uptight about sex & we got the wrong people influencing alot of our collective thinking. we need more dr. ruths & less slut shaming weirdos. and 'the denial of death' should be required reading in schools. we need more critical thinking & questioning of ideas that are passed down to us

 

[tmonster]

Dapped and pos rep. 100% yes, all day!

They're 2 of the biggest things that we're afraid of in our culture. We're terrified of dying, so much so that we try to pretend it's not even a real thing. The death issue is a little more difficult IMO because people have a ton of different opinions on what happens when you die, and science can't even always agree on what exactly death even is, and when it occurs, but I'll post on that later.

The sex education in this country is ridiculous, so I'll keep it to sex for now.

I wish this was on Youtube but I saw a documentary about the differences in how they treat sex in Europe and here. They asked an American girl what she would think if a guy she knew had a condom in his wallet. She said she'd think he was a creep, man whore, player, etc. They asked the Swedish girl, and she laughed and said "I think it's common sense, and I think anyone that didn't keep a condom handy was being irresponsible. In fact I always carry one myself just to be safe."

These girls were both like 16-17. That pretty much says it all. Because what the American girl doesn't know, because she's only been taught that sex is scary and causes diseases and pregnancy...is that she's going to get the urge to have sex, if she hasn't already, and she's going to do it (if she hasn't already.) And if that dude doesn't have a condom, or if she doesn't, then it might not stop her, and in a case of perfect irony, she will actually end up pregnant or with an STD.

To take it a step further, I think at least at the college level there should be actual instructional sex classes. fukk it. Why not? Most people suck at fukking. To get good at sex you have to actually give a shyt, and then seek out partners or material, then practice and put it to use. If people are having good sex, they aren't going to be as tense, angry, pent up, hostile, aggressive, I'd even go so far as to say dangerous. How come we can have movies where 800 people get blown apart with guns but any sex scene not missionary or nudity below the chest is NC-17?

Makes no sense. I dunno, maybe I'm a hippy. My mom is a nurse, so my birds and the bees talk was in depth. Was it awkward? Yeah, very awkward. On the other hand, I was g-spot hunting when most kids were fumbling around trying to awkwardly finger someone. I was having good sex that was also safe, and I don't see why it has to be different for anyone if people can stop being so uptight.

On the other hand, if I have a daughter... I don't really wanna have that talk....

I guess I'd cross that bridge when I got to it.

EDIT: I especially think this is important for men. Men don't get taught fukk all when it comes to dealing with women. Men need to learn some basic skills when it comes to actually having success with women. Men are naturally expected to initiate things, but don't get any parental instruction, and peers aren't much help. Most men that are good with women at a very young age (I wasn't) are just naturals, and then in adulthood men either figure things out or end up lonely and sexually frustrated. I'd bet a good 3/4s of men are downright awful with the opposite sex. I think a new study came out that said straight women only orgasm 20-30% percent throughout their sexual encounters? That's sad. On the flip side, gay women came the most often.

I know this applies to women too, I guess, but it's straight up easier for men to cum than women, and if a woman really doesn't want to be sexually frustrated she can easily get laid. Men have to put in at least some work, even if they have the skills.

rep
yup there plenty of countries we could learn a few things from in this department

 

[KwamePiesie]

great thread!

im a father of 2: 4 y/o girl and 9 month old boy.
(im going to ramble now.. hold tight..)


from the very beginning we've stressed that we're never going to do the "babytalk thing".
More importantly, we made this clear to all our familymembers. dont patronize our kids.
we dont celebrate sinterklaas (as we call it in Holland) like the masses do. She knows that all presents are bought by us.
We play games and incorporate critical thinking at all times. (if its 3 oranges and i add up another 3 that means we've got 5 right? i love how she just gives me this look like ) then she starts thinking and answers 6 like) that feeling bredren is pure
yes, she watches tv (she's loves doc mcstuffins). yes we let her play with the ipad.
we deal in speaking the truth to and with each other

 

[TheDarceKnight]

great thread. people are way too uptight about sex & we got the wrong people influencing alot of our collective thinking. we need more dr. ruths & less slut shaming weirdos. and 'the denial of death' should be required reading in schools. we need more critical thinking & questioning of ideas that are passed down to us

I'll check that book out. Also, I never got the whole slut shaming thing. It just makes it harder to have sex for men? Women that are comfortable and relaxed, yet you wanna drive them away? For pure selfish reasons if nothing else. Like the Duke porn star...if the dude that called her out had just kept his mouth shut, he could've tried to get an in with her, or even if not, playing it cool would still be the smartest option. Calling her out and shaming her is stupid.

 

[Blackking]

don't do it too early..... hit my son w death and we don't know..

and about sex at age 6.... like yeah, don't matter just sex, kids, try to use condoms, protection, etc....

nothing in life really matters.

But still try to have those morals we taught you


Now he's always walking pass the TV trying to see bytches Dont give a fukk at school.... str8 A's.. but smacked a white boy this summer at his program

 

[tmonster]

great thread!

im a father of 2: 4 y/o girl and 9 month old boy.
(im going to ramble now.. hold tight..)


from the very beginning we've stressed that we're never going to do the "babytalk thing".
More importantly, we made this clear to all our familymembers. dont patronize our kids.
we dont celebrate sinterklaas (as we call it in Holland) like the masses do. She knows that all presents are bought by us.
We play games and incorporate critical thinking at all times. (if its 3 oranges and i add up another 3 that means we've got 5 right? i love how she just gives me this look like ) then she starts thinking and answers 6 like) that feeling bredren is pure
yes, she watches tv (she's loves doc mcstuffins). yes we let her play with the ipad.
we deal in speaking the truth to and with each other

Me: telling my niece (4yo) to get a towel in the bathroom, and wet it, in order to wipe my nephew (8 months)
Her: ..........why can't we just use a wipe? you don't know about wipes (as she reaches into the baby bag to grab one)

Me: mah bad....
they are so cute when they do that stuff

 

[Brown_Pride]

interesting thread i'd be curious how many of you actually have kids.
I have a 20 year old step son
a 12 year old boy
a 9 year old boy
a 8 year old girl.
All three of the younger ones are in the gifted program at school, all well rounded.

First best things in my life are my kids and I learn more about life from how they see life than from damn near anyone/thing else. The innocence in which they view things is a perspective you don't often see.

That being said, I try to be real with them when I feel they are mature enough to handle certain facts about life, e.g. death, sex, religion, politics, #minoritywakeupcall, cop shootings, Santa Claus, that whole "life's not fair" thing, etc, etc.

Kids only get to be contentious kids for roughly 8 years, between the ages of 6 and 14 they are kids, and IMHO should be allowed to not have to worry (too much) about the shyt they will spend the next 60-80 years trying to get a handle on. Let'em be kids, but they don't have to be ignorant kids either.

For instance. All my kids, minus the 20 year old obviously, still believe in Santa. Not cause they're stupid mind you but because I talk a good game....the 12 year old is pretty sure i'm talking out the side of my neck now but i still see a little doubt in his eyes from time to time so I think this will be the last year I have him fooled. But, he's also mentally and emotionally mature enough to know WHY we do that, at least I suspect he will be.

I'll stress again that no two kids are the same, even under one roof, and you need to tailor parenting to the child not the other way around.

 

[tmonster]

For instance. All my kids, minus the 20 year old obviously, still believe in Santa. Not cause they're stupid mind you but because I talk a good game...

the irony :wuthello:

 

[Brown_Pride]

great thread!

im a father of 2: 4 y/o girl and 9 month old boy.
(im going to ramble now.. hold tight..)


from the very beginning we've stressed that we're never going to do the "babytalk thing".
More importantly, we made this clear to all our familymembers. dont patronize our kids.
we dont celebrate sinterklaas (as we call it in Holland) like the masses do. She knows that all presents are bought by us.
We play games and incorporate critical thinking at all times. (if its 3 oranges and i add up another 3 that means we've got 5 right? i love how she just gives me this look like ) then she starts thinking and answers 6 like) that feeling bredren is pure
yes, she watches tv (she's loves doc mcstuffins). yes we let her play with the ipad.
we deal in speaking the truth to and with each other

wait till she starts (if she hasn't already) negotiating with you.

I swear bedtime turns into a 15 minute give and take but I honestly love it, IMHO it's a sign to me that they are independent thinkers. Watching my kids think about something is one of my favorite past times...especially when they are trying to outsmart me.

 

[Brown_Pride]

the irony :wuthello:

lol yeah you'd have to know the whole story but basically since they were young I played up the FACT that I interned at the north pole then through a series of very lucky circumstances and unscripted conversations my children had with various "Santa Clauses" my story was backed up. FOr instance last year my company flew in Santa to the company picknick on a helicopter. I said, "well think about it, where do we live (the desert) where would someone who lives in a snowy climate most likely vacation (a desert). Why is he on a chopper, well as it's a few weeks out before Christmas they need to rest too." That same day my then 11 year old, who was/is very skeptical about the whole thing, without telling me or his mom what he was goign to say, asks Santa, "so did my dad really work for you?" Santa says (without me ever talking to him), "yeah but only during the summer as an intern." My son got off his lap with a big smile and says, "wow dad you were right"...so there's been a few other things like that, where they "tested" the whole elaborate story and it played out in favor of the story. Again I suspect last year was the last year the 12 year old is goign to be game for it .

and as weird as it might sound I was proud as hell when, in spite of what I had been saying, he took it upon himself to verify and check the info i'd been giving him. I encourage them all to do that.

"Google is your friend" is what I tell them when they have questions, but always discuss the results after in case they come across a tmonster thread about something and need some straightening out.

 

[tmonster]

lol yeah you'd have to know the whole story but basically since they were young I played up the FACT that I interned at the north pole then through a series of very lucky circumstances and unscripted conversations my children had with various "Santa Clauses" my story was backed up. FOr instance last year my company flew in Santa to the company picknick on a helicopter. I said, "well think about it, where do we live (the desert) where would someone who lives in a snowy climate most likely vacation (a desert). Why is he on a chopper, well as it's a few weeks out before Christmas they need to rest too." That same day my then 11 year old, who was/is very skeptical about the whole thing, without telling me or his mom what he was goign to say, asks Santa, "so did my dad really work for you?" Santa says (without me ever talking to him), "yeah but only during the summer as an intern." My son got off his lap with a big smile and says, "wow dad you were right"...so there's been a few other things like that, where they "tested" the whole elaborate story and it played out in favor of the story. Again I suspect last year was the last year the 12 year old is goign to be game for it .

and as weird as it might sound I was proud as hell when, in spite of what I had been saying, he took it upon himself to verify and check the info i'd been giving him. I encourage them all to do that.

"Google is your friend" is what I tell them when they have questions, but always discuss the results after in case they come across a tmonster thread about something and need some straightening out.

you are trolling your own kids