Is it mean to want to throw certain friends in the bushes cause you can't relate to them anymore?

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

I've been wanting to ask the board this question for a while, but I held off on it simply because of how it might of come off to other people. But, whatever. I grew up in the burbs of Pittsburgh/Western PA, had almost all white friends, had very few black friends or black people I could relate to and generally felt like a loner even surrounded by people I considered "cool". Looking back, I had to deal with alot of casual racism from them (in the form of slick racist jokes and stereotypes that they wanted me to fufill "I remember when I went out to my boy's wedding 5 years ago in Arizona and they wanted me to do Samuel L Jackson's part from "Pulp Fiction" even though I've only seen it once).


Now that I moved to New York and I and have a new & diverse group of friends and my current friends from way back when I lived in the Burgh (who I consider more of friends than my high school peoples), anytime they try to talk to me via facebook I realize how badly we have nothing in common. They feel that the only way the can talk to me is with slang like "yo" and random hip-hop videos and it's so easy to tell they don't know me at all and probably never knew me. In fact, this is why I don't post on facebook anymore. I was a completely different person back then when they knew me and now I'm not. They all have their lives filled with kids, and careers, and other stuff as a single man I can't relate to. Even though we have history, I just don't consider them friends anymore. I just think that if a person can't appreciate the fact that you've changed, then they just never appreciated you period. Sometimes I think that I was a novelty in their eyes.

So, is this mean or what?

 

[Swiggy]

I mean, if you grow apart or beyond someone that not being able to connect with them is an issue, nothing wrong with needing that space. I got a homie I knew since 8th grade and been grown apart from him. I just kept being his friend for the sake of being friends for 20 years now, and there's still mad awkwardness, but as an older dude now, I'm able to deal with those crazy differences better.

If you do throw him in the bushes, that's just how life goes. You'll both get over it. Don't be shocked if you still friends 10 years from now, tho

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

I mean, if you grow apart or beyond someone that not being able to connect with them is an issue, nothing wrong with needing that space. I got a homie I knew since 8th grade and been grown apart from him. I just kept being his friend for the sake of being friends for 20 years now, and there's still mad awkwardness, but as an older dude now, I'm able to deal with those crazy differences better.

If you do throw him in the bushes, that's just how life goes. You'll both get over it. Don't be shocked if you still friends 10 years from now, tho

Yeah...maybe I'm thinking too much about it.

I just can't respect people who just want a person to stay the same forever..like change is a bad thing. I couldn't be that same person forever. Or that I got to live for them and not for myself....

 

[Remote]

"A thug changes. And love changes. And best friends become strangers" - Nas, The Message

 

[61 Corpses]

Breh,
It's not mean. nikkas just grow up and move on

I did it to the majority of my high school podnas cause they was still on that wannabe thug shyt while i was in college and trying to support a daughter on some grown man shyt. It is what it is.

 

[philmonroe]

Breh,
It's not mean. nikkas just grow up and move on

I did it to the majority of my high school podnas cause they was still on that wannabe thug shyt while i was in college and trying to support a daughter on some grown man shyt. It is what it is.

Basically its not personal sometimes the stuff you are into changes from what y'all used to be into together. I don't really get rid of them its just you naturally spend less time together because of those changes. I still consider them friends and if they call or need me if I can I'm there.

 

[Dooby]

I have to leave people behind that are doing absolutely nothing with their lives. Slowly cutting it off.

Situation is actually happening right now...Can't be hanging with a person that's broke all the time, lives with their parents, and spends any little money they have on weed and movies at the age of 27.

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

I have to leave people behind that are doing absolutely nothing with their lives. Slowly cutting it off.

Situation is actually happening right now...Can't be hanging with a person that's broke all the time, lives with their parents, and spends any little money they have on weed and movies at the age of 27.

This.

It's not fruitful to be hanging out with people doing nothing with their lives. Especially when you have goals and ambitions cause they'll only bring you down in one way or another.

 

[Benjamin Sisko]

This.

It's not fruitful to be hanging out with people doing nothing with their lives. Especially when you have goals and ambitions cause they'll only bring you down in one way or another.

I think you know the answer to your own question.

You can't be hanging around with cancers. Im from Va. I live in Colorado right now. I cut off around 80 percent of the people in my past, including certain family members because they were up to no good. They weren't about nothing, they were cancers. They had a miserable life and would sometimes inflict their pain upon me. I didn't and don't need that in my life right now.

 

[Larry Lobster]

I've been wanting to ask the board this question for a while, but I held off on it simply because of how it might of come off to other people. But, whatever. I grew up in the burbs of Pittsburgh/Western PA, had almost all white friends, had very few black friends or black people I could relate to and generally felt like a loner even surrounded by people I considered "cool". Looking back, I had to deal with alot of casual racism from them (in the form of slick racist jokes and stereotypes that they wanted me to fufill "I remember when I went out to my boy's wedding 5 years ago in Arizona and they wanted me to do Samuel L Jackson's part from "Pulp Fiction" even though I've only seen it once).


Now that I moved to New York and I and have a new & diverse group of friends and my current friends from way back when I lived in the Burgh (who I consider more of friends than my high school peoples), anytime they try to talk to me via facebook I realize how badly we have nothing in common. They feel that the only way the can talk to me is with slang like "yo" and random hip-hop videos and it's so easy to tell they don't know me at all and probably never knew me. In fact, this is why I don't post on facebook anymore. I was a completely different person back then when they knew me and now I'm not. They all have their lives filled with kids, and careers, and other stuff as a single man I can't relate to. Even though we have history, I just don't consider them friends anymore. I just think that if a person can't appreciate the fact that you've changed, then they just never appreciated you period. Sometimes I think that I was a novelty in their eyes.

So, is this mean or what?

I know that feel, all i can say is move on , these people don't really respect you so

 

[Randy Marsh]

"A thug changes. And love changes. And best friends become strangers" - Nas, The Message

Word up.

 

[hotbeezie]

Nah, fukk them nikkas...

I learned my lesson the hard way tryna keep it real with my day one nikkas. I spent the whole damn day pissed.In my case, the nikkas i grew up with didnt mature or love living that trife life.

Long story short, I ended up vacuuming for crack and weed out my car at 1am.

 

[EA]

I know exactly how you feel. A handful of my friends have become stoners in denial since we all went our separate ways for university and I can't really connect with them anymore. They spend all day getting high, escaping life and it's difficult for me to feel comfortable around them since I don't smoke. I don't want to exactly cut them off but I make myself less available to them...especially since they've let the fact that I'm the only one driving become a reason to try and get extra twisted because they know I'll take them home most the time.

It's just a part of growing up, I suppose.

 

[ALLiKNOWizPAIN]

What grown ass man says "mean"

 

[philmonroe]

This.

It's not fruitful to be hanging out with people doing nothing with their lives. Especially when you have goals and ambitions cause they'll only bring you down in one way or another.

In past years I would have agreed with this but now I think this is moreso a reflection on you, me, whoever the other person is. These friends aren't holding you back at intentionally its you. We try to still hang with people even though they have different mentalities from what we are on now but you get so used to making moves with these cats you don't want to make this one without them so you blame them when IMO its your fault. Think about it most times your friends aren't really psychically or mentally holding you back its us being a team player when you can and sometimes have to go it alone. I agree that they may bring you down but its really more on you (general) and not wanting to make that sacrifice alone. All hanging with others does is give you new group think buddies for real and if you need that to succeed instead of being like I may have to do it on my own without my friends cool. I dont think we should blame our friends oftentimes though for a problem that is mainly self inflicted.