Is it mean to want to throw certain friends in the bushes cause you can't relate to them anymore?

[Anti-Anime]

Friends come and go.

 

[DrX]

I've been wanting to ask the board this question for a while, but I held off on it simply because of how it might of come off to other people. But, whatever. I grew up in the burbs of Pittsburgh/Western PA, had almost all white friends, had very few black friends or black people I could relate to and generally felt like a loner even surrounded by people I considered "cool". Looking back, I had to deal with alot of casual racism from them (in the form of slick racist jokes and stereotypes that they wanted me to fufill "I remember when I went out to my boy's wedding 5 years ago in Arizona and they wanted me to do Samuel L Jackson's part from "Pulp Fiction" even though I've only seen it once).


Now that I moved to New York and I and have a new & diverse group of friends and my current friends from way back when I lived in the Burgh (who I consider more of friends than my high school peoples), anytime they try to talk to me via facebook I realize how badly we have nothing in common. They feel that the only way the can talk to me is with slang like "yo" and random hip-hop videos and it's so easy to tell they don't know me at all and probably never knew me. In fact, this is why I don't post on facebook anymore. I was a completely different person back then when they knew me and now I'm not. They all have their lives filled with kids, and careers, and other stuff as a single man I can't relate to. Even though we have history, I just don't consider them friends anymore. I just think that if a person can't appreciate the fact that you've changed, then they just never appreciated you period. Sometimes I think that I was a novelty in their eyes.

So, is this mean or what?

u answered ur own question....fukk em........i cut almost everybody off thats not chasing their goals....im by myself, once i move ill met like minded ppl

 

[Chrishaune]

Dial back contact.....yes...........throw away for good.......well that's pretty tough.

 

[philmonroe]

u answered ur own question....fukk em........i cut almost everybody off thats not chasing their goals....im by myself, once i move ill met like minded ppl

I think this brings up an interesting question. Alot of people do like you and I understand why but on the other hand why do so many not feel they can do what they want without being part of a like minded group think for lack of a better term? I just ask because like I typed earlier very rarely do your friends actually hold you back why can't you do it without switching friends? Do you need cheers, help, confidence, what? I really have been thinking about this the last few years with myself and would like to hear others reasons why they need this to improve their situations.

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

What grown ass man says "mean"

I didn't know how else to say it..."wack" maybe?

Ive been confronted about this issue with current friends of mine and it's like....shyt I didn't even know how to put it.

I think this brings up an interesting question. Alot of people do like you and I understand why but on the other hand why do so many not feel they can do what they want without being part of a like minded group think for lack of a better term? I just ask because like I typed earlier very rarely do your friends actually hold you back why can't you do it without switching friends? Do you need cheers, help, confidence, what? I really have been thinking about this the last few years with myself and would like to hear others reasons why they need this to improve their situations.

I think it's because very rarely are we doing things alone. We always need some sort of assistance and it's nice to be around like minded people.

 

[MAKAVELI25]

I've been wanting to ask the board this question for a while, but I held off on it simply because of how it might of come off to other people. But, whatever. I grew up in the burbs of Pittsburgh/Western PA, had almost all white friends, had very few black friends or black people I could relate to and generally felt like a loner even surrounded by people I considered "cool". Looking back, I had to deal with alot of casual racism from them (in the form of slick racist jokes and stereotypes that they wanted me to fufill "I remember when I went out to my boy's wedding 5 years ago in Arizona and they wanted me to do Samuel L Jackson's part from "Pulp Fiction" even though I've only seen it once).


Now that I moved to New York and I and have a new & diverse group of friends and my current friends from way back when I lived in the Burgh (who I consider more of friends than my high school peoples), anytime they try to talk to me via facebook I realize how badly we have nothing in common. They feel that the only way the can talk to me is with slang like "yo" and random hip-hop videos and it's so easy to tell they don't know me at all and probably never knew me. In fact, this is why I don't post on facebook anymore. I was a completely different person back then when they knew me and now I'm not. They all have their lives filled with kids, and careers, and other stuff as a single man I can't relate to. Even though we have history, I just don't consider them friends anymore. I just think that if a person can't appreciate the fact that you've changed, then they just never appreciated you period. Sometimes I think that I was a novelty in their eyes.

So, is this mean or what?

Those were NOT your friends. YOU were their token. fukk those mother fukkers

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

Those were NOT your friends. YOU were their token. fukk those mother fukkers

That's exactly what it was and why I don't want to consider them friends anymore.

 

[philmonroe]

I didn't know how else to say it..."wack" maybe?

Ive been confronted about this issue with current friends of mine and it's like....shyt I didn't even know how to put it.


I think it's because very rarely are we doing things alone. We always need some sort of assistance and it's nice to be around like minded people.

Thanks for your reply and I agree but at the same time for me I was like man I can't let others stop me esp when they aren't honestly trying to stop me they just doing they own thing. If they were negative while you doing your thing I understand but to punish them for my own fukk ups is wack shyt IMO after I honestly thought about it. Thanks again for you honesty though

 

[DrX]

I think this brings up an interesting question. Alot of people do like you and I understand why but on the other hand why do so many not feel they can do what they want without being part of a like minded group think for lack of a better term? I just ask because like I typed earlier very rarely do your friends actually hold you back why can't you do it without switching friends? Do you need cheers, help, confidence, what? I really have been thinking about this the last few years with myself and would like to hear others reasons why they need this to improve their situations.

i dont mean lie minded totally....i mean being around positive ppl doing positive things.....

 

[semtex]

I think that's starting to happen with my friends from freshman year when we talk now there are lots of hiatuses during the conversation and when we are talking it's about shyt from back in the day. It's a weird thing.

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

If they said some slick racist shyt you you like that often, why the fukk did you keep hanging out with them? Your dignity should be worth more than attention from some racially insecure a$$holes.

 

[ThaRealness]

Nah not at all.. Its never a good idea to try to hold onto the past anyways. I think about the past all the time but Im not trying to relive it..

There are those fleeting moments where life feels like it did back in the day but that shyt never lasts. you just keep it moving

 

[Vandelay]

I've been wanting to ask the board this question for a while, but I held off on it simply because of how it might of come off to other people. But, whatever. I grew up in the burbs of Pittsburgh/Western PA, had almost all white friends, had very few black friends or black people I could relate to and generally felt like a loner even surrounded by people I considered "cool". Looking back, I had to deal with alot of casual racism from them (in the form of slick racist jokes and stereotypes that they wanted me to fufill "I remember when I went out to my boy's wedding 5 years ago in Arizona and they wanted me to do Samuel L Jackson's part from "Pulp Fiction" even though I've only seen it once).

Im sorry but.... Lmfao!!!!

 

[OCCAMS_RAZOR]

If they said some slick racist shyt you you like that often, why the fukk did you keep hanging out with them? Your dignity should be worth more than attention from some racially insecure @ssholes.

you've never been a token, i presume. a lot of times slick shyt is said in jest, but after a while it wears you down, completely warps your self-esteem and self-identity.

some of the best people i've ever met were white, but on the whole i can only take white folks in low doses now. i'd rather hang out with my own. that's the natural thing anyways.

 

[*L*E*G*A*C*Y*]

If they said some slick racist shyt you you like that often, why the fukk did you keep hanging out with them? Your dignity should be worth more than attention from some racially insecure @ssholes.

I was in high school/early college...I was young at the time (14-22). I didn't know any better and wasn't keen to the game as I am now.

There...is that a good enough explanation for you?

BTW, I'll be 30 in August.