It was wednesday night around 1-2 AM, I was going through the coli looking for my future wife, when I saw someone post a shyt thread, so I was like lulz let me be like that cool 12 year old and post "didnt read LOL"...but the post got deleted and I got suspended for 3 days.
Ok that was just to sum up why I got banned from the coli, now to say how my days have went.
Day 1
I woke up the next morning at 9 AM with the usual morning wood, I walked to the bathroom, took a piss, washed my faces, brushed my teeth, all that cool stuff. Then I go get my iPhone, go on the coli, and see "error" you are suspended until August 19, 4:39 AM or something like that. I fell into tears as soon as I saw that, I threw my iPhone against the wall, broke into pieces. I had no idea what I would do all day. From 9:30 AM to 10:15 am I was just laying on the floor next to my Iphone crying and crying. I finally got up and realized I had to do something else, but I had no idea what. So from 10:15 to 10:18 I was hitting my head against the wall, literally, then I did it one time too heavy and passed out.I later woke up at 2 PM, with a big headache, and forgot all about the suspension on the coli. For some reason I could not find my phone at all...so I went on my laptop, and saw I was suspended. Once again I was fell into tears. As I was crying, I was thinking what did I do all day without the coli? Yahoo answers! So I went on that site, and realized after about 8 hours of trolling all the fun sections, it wasn't the same...Now it's around 10 PM, idk what to do, so I took 6 of my dads sleeping pills and some vodka.
Day 2
I wake up around 3 in the afternoon completely naked in my bathtub. Today I didn't have to brush my teeth because I did it yesterday. So today was friday, I was like I guess I can go out and hang with a few friends. I start looking for my phone, can't find it, tried calling it, straight to voicemail, tried saying 'If I was a iphone where would I be"...didnt work. So I gave up. I decided I could just do my own thing for the day, I changed and went outside. I saw the most amazing girl i've ever seen. I started walking to her, she started walking away, I sped up to catch up to her, she starts walking faster, I walk faster to keep up, shes running now, I am too, she starts screaming at the top of her lungs, I realize there must be someone behind us chasing us! I start screaming too, eventually I fell and hurt my knee really bad, she got away and I guess the other guy stopped chasing me. After being in the emergency room for about 9 hours for the scratch on my knee (doctors did say I had a better knee then rose, so I'm happy) I went home, it was around 1 AM...when I usually love to go on the coli, but no, I couldn't...I take 18 sleeping pills along with my usual medications for my other coniditions, sleepy time.
Day 3
Somehow I wake up at 6 AM, got 5 hours of sleep even with those 18 sleeping pills, I guess after you take a certian amount they cancel out. It was the 3rd saturday of the month so I knew it was time to take my first shower of August. I stay in the shower for VERY long, I think about my life, girls, and put myself in situations I know I would never be in. 6:01 AM, done taking a shower. Today I take my second chance at finding my dream girl, since the love of my life had been lost yesterday due to some serial killer (i think). I was feeling a bit hungry after working so hard in the shower, I cook up 8 eggs, 7 waffles and 19 bacon stripes. Then I am about to go outside and realize WTF its 6 30 AM who the hell is outside right now? So I literally stood at the wall for 3 hours, without blinking, or even thinking about a single thing. Now its 9:30, perfect time to find my future love. I start walking outside, then realized with my medicaiton, I couldn't stay outside cause it was too sunny. So from 9 30 to 11 I was yelling outside my window trying to get girls to come to my house. I got a few looks but no one was intrested, besides some homeless man who I must say looked pretty cool from a distance. So today I had work, from 11 to 10 I worked all day, but I could not stop thinking about the coli, so I stayed in the bathroom the whole time crying. My boss found me and fired me, I was very upset but then he said I could come back if I sucked his penis, needless to say, I have work tomorrow. So i got home and jerked it until around 2 AM, then I finally went to sleep.
Day now
Today I woke up, unsuspended, and now I am telling you of my story.
at this thread
yo this nikka @CuzTheyKnowMe is in early runnings for poster of the year
cause the slow gene runs rampant thru your fam bruh?
I be in supermarkets busting out laughing at some of these cats.
