Is the crazy chick ever worth it

[Dave24]

The more I learn about Borderline Personality Disorder (which a relatively high % of "crazy" women and locked-up guys both suffer from), the more I'd dissuade anyone from getting in that situation unless you're REALLY committed. You have to decide to commit 100% to the relationship no matter what goes down or watch it go very very badly. There's no in-between.

Do you have any stories on what it was like being with someone who had that?

 

[International Playa]

Sex will usually be crazy amazing, don't forget to nut in her & sign up to a life of misery

 

[Screwtape]

I wouldn’t say standard

Im exaggerating slightly but still.. You don't have to reach far to find a woman with a lot of those 'qualities'

 

[Ojinnocent420]

Yung, crazy p*ssy be the best but also the one you end up regretting the most. Best thing to do is bust a few a nuts then hit the Flying thunder god on that jawn and dip.

 

[Professor Emeritus]

Do you have any stories on what it was like being with someone who had that?

I've never been with anyone like that but my foster daughter had it and I was able to observe her relationships. Because of that I read up on it a ton, looked up other people's experiences, etc.

I'd say there are four things that make it very difficult to be in a relationship with someone suffering from Borderline unless you are deeply, deeply committed. Consider this to be fully true for someone who is on the more serious end of the spectrum, but partly true for anyone with borderline:


1. They have difficulty regulating their emotions. They can go from 0 to 100 in no time at all, and once they're triggered it can sometimes be impossible to get them to back down. So when they're emotionally triggered they could literally do anything or commit any level of violence between they're so out-of-control.

2. Their minds tend to operate in the present, they have trouble stepping back and putting things in context. So if you're mad at them now, then they interpret it as you'll be mad forever. If they think you're letting them down in the moment, they interpret it as you'll let them down forever. That turns every negative interaction into an entire existential crisis, because for you it might be just a bad moment but for them it feels like their entire life is at stake.

3. Similar to #2, a lot of folk with BPD have a loose relationship with the truth, because the truth is whatever they think at the moment. They could say something completely untrue but they'll say it with the conviction that it is true, you could argue with them for an hour and you start to doubt yourself and begin to believe they're telling the truth because they're so certain about defending themselves. But that certainty comes from the way their brains operate so fully in the moment that they latch on to the position with the conviction of certainty and can't back off and think if it really happened that way.

4. A lot of folk with BPD have very very low self-esteem, and as a result they tend to overcompensate by not being willing to admit any fault (which ties in to #3). If they believe they've done something wrong, then they'll interpret that as meaning they're always wrong, they're always a bad person, and their self-esteem is already on such a knife's edge that they can't handle dealing with the perspective of being such a bad person. So they tend to distort reality and interpret things in such a way that makes them right, or makes their behavior okay, because they're so scared of the alternative.



It takes a lot of work to help someone with Borderline Personality Disorder work through their issues, and I wouldn't recommend doing it without doing a lot of reading and either being a professional or being able to talk to professionals about it. But one of the key components is basically unconditional love with boundaries - being able to continue loving the person so completely, despite what they do, so that they begin to believe they're actually loveable and that you won't give up on them when they do something wrong....but also with boundaries so they learn what kinds of behavior can be tolerated in society and what can't and start to be able to follow those limits themselves. Our daughter was an abuse victim with PTSD in addition to BPD and so she was in a tougher place then most, but I think we've seen a ton of growth in her, especially in the first 9 months. Her life isn't perfect by a long shot but she's able to do a lot of things she never was able to do before, seems to be in a reasonably healthy relationship now (we hope), and only has a little more than a year left in her college degree now.

 

[mrfortune]

no, finest girl i had was crazy and still wasnt worth it. i miss eating her up but im alive so im good

 

[capblk]

The amount of stress and distractions will never be worth it.

 

[TheJet]

I stuck wit one of them. After she had a kid or 2 and calmed down. Now she cool AF

 

[get these nets]

Too many other women in the world to invite problems into your life with a crazy one.

 

[EffYou]

THAT'S HER PARENT'S JOB

This post wild ash to me, had to come back to it

 

[UpNext]

fukking a crazy bytch is equally as dangerous to your health as smoking crack.


Actually smoking crack might be a less destructive vice on average bruh.

 

[WesCrook]

No not at all. They’re nothing special, a crazy chick is basically mentally handicapped, you can’t build with that, and after awhile you can’t have fun and be casual with them either, and they’re useless as fukk. A chick with a good head on her shoulders can actually apologize for their faults and improve themselves. Them crazy hoes only sorry when you leave ‘em, fukk ‘em, or beat ‘em, or all that shyt at the same time.

Disrupts your peace.

 

[WesCrook]

When you're younger and life is crazy anyway, yeah why not have some fun with some wild chicks

Just have to keep your masculine control strong and not take too much bullshyt, I would say none at all but that's an unreasonable outlook, considering what you are dealing with

Still look back fondly on some of those experiences


I couldn't deal with that after a certain age though, basically early mid 20s and that was it for me

Yeah, and crazy chicks get worse as they get older because they don't let go of their emotional baggage.

Whatever man hooks up with her at the age of 41 is going to catch pure hell.

 

[Screwtape]

Yeah, and crazy chicks get worse as they get older because they don't let go of their emotional baggage.

Whatever man hooks up with her at the age of 41 is going to catch pure hell.

If they. Haven't learnt by then...well i just find that bizarre. Low self Esteem is so prevalent
Amongst men

 

[Silkk]

I've never been with anyone like that but my foster daughter had it and I was able to observe her relationships. Because of that I read up on it a ton, looked up other people's experiences, etc.

I'd say there are four things that make it very difficult to be in a relationship with someone suffering from Borderline unless you are deeply, deeply committed. Consider this to be fully true for someone who is on the more serious end of the spectrum, but partly true for anyone with borderline:


1. They have difficulty regulating their emotions. They can go from 0 to 100 in no time at all, and once they're triggered it can sometimes be impossible to get them to back down. So when they're emotionally triggered they could literally do anything or commit any level of violence between they're so out-of-control.

2. Their minds tend to operate in the present, they have trouble stepping back and putting things in context. So if you're mad at them now, then they interpret it as you'll be mad forever. If they think you're letting them down in the moment, they interpret it as you'll let them down forever. That turns every negative interaction into an entire existential crisis, because for you it might be just a bad moment but for them it feels like their entire life is at stake.

3. Similar to #2, a lot of folk with BPD have a loose relationship with the truth, because the truth is whatever they think at the moment. They could say something completely untrue but they'll say it with the conviction that it is true, you could argue with them for an hour and you start to doubt yourself and begin to believe they're telling the truth because they're so certain about defending themselves. But that certainty comes from the way their brains operate so fully in the moment that they latch on to the position with the conviction of certainty and can't back off and think if it really happened that way.

4. A lot of folk with BPD have very very low self-esteem, and as a result they tend to overcompensate by not being willing to admit any fault (which ties in to #3). If they believe they've done something wrong, then they'll interpret that as meaning they're always wrong, they're always a bad person, and their self-esteem is already on such a knife's edge that they can't handle dealing with the perspective of being such a bad person. So they tend to distort reality and interpret things in such a way that makes them right, or makes their behavior okay, because they're so scared of the alternative.



It takes a lot of work to help someone with Borderline Personality Disorder work through their issues, and I wouldn't recommend doing it without doing a lot of reading and either being a professional or being able to talk to professionals about it. But one of the key components is basically unconditional love with boundaries - being able to continue loving the person so completely, despite what they do, so that they begin to believe they're actually loveable and that you won't give up on them when they do something wrong....but also with boundaries so they learn what kinds of behavior can be tolerated in society and what can't and start to be able to follow those limits themselves. Our daughter was an abuse victim with PTSD in addition to BPD and so she was in a tougher place then most, but I think we've seen a ton of growth in her, especially in the first 9 months. Her life isn't perfect by a long shot but she's able to do a lot of things she never was able to do before, seems to be in a reasonably healthy relationship now (we hope), and only has a little more than a year left in her college degree now.

Maaaaaaaaaan, Everything you said is SPOT ON and after dealing with two long term situations with women like that....




FUCCK NO. GET OUT NOW