I hear you. That's maturity. I dress for myself and my mood, not so much trends or for what people think. I get fashion ideas from seeing other women but i make adjustments for what works for me. My ex used to complain all the time that I don't have to look perfect all the time. You would think a man would appreciate a woman that has pride in that type of thing but it was whatever, I think it was more about him not wanting the gawking or looks from other men. Not going to lie - if I'm with a man, I like to be the finest in the room (or at least feel that way)- not on any conceited type of vibe, but moreso confidence. People do judge based off appearance, No doubt. I finally found my style and what works for me- what looks good on me. Outward appearance sets the tone for how I feel about myself not so much dependent on what other women are doing.