It's hard for me to enjoy peace

[I AM WE ARE]

I'm so used to chaos, prison, extradition, clubs, etc now I'm a supervisor at a LG facility and all I do is watch monitors, do schedules, etc.
I feel like I'm losing my edge or getting too soft. I keep waiting for something to happen but it doesn't. I still have issues sleeping at night. I left the prison after a female counselor got raped, beaten to the point where she got life flighted from the facility, she's permanently blind and had to have several facial reconstructive surgeries. I responded and saw the blood and blacked out on the inmate. I've even changed to vegetarian/vegan. I'm just asking for honesty insight

 

[AggiePride336.]

Sounds like PTSD. Dawg, I think you need to go and talk to someone. One thing I’ve learned in life is if you want peace, you have to go out there and get it. For some, it’s as simple as talking with someone and getting everything off your chest. I’ve been there with the sleepless nights, and thoughts just racing in your head.

I can’t even imagine the wreck I’d be after seeing a woman raped, and barely holding on for life.

 

[I AM WE ARE]

I've been diagnosed with chronic PTSD,my girl says that I fight in my sleep but she's scared to wake me cause she doesn't want get accidently hit

 

[Jimmy from Linkedin]

You must see a therapist. You should have some sort of Employee Assistance that would at least get you something like 6 visits for free. Start meditating also. Use whatever you can to help you out, and when those visions come during meditation, go into them. Don't run away from them. Think about meditation in this context:

You are normally a tourist on the boardwalk. During meditation, imagine yourself as the tourist on the balcony, watching you on the boardwalk. Now you can "see" your emotions from the higher vantage point and begin to see what led up to that.

Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to feel. Be thankful that you made this decision. Express your gratitude to your girl. Really do this. Just because you are more emotional doesn't mean you are soft. You are growing. Once you are able to start thanking your girl, thanking her for being patient, thanking her for being respectful of this transition, thanking her for not being able to get the sleep she needs, thanking her for her sacrifice, your relationship will deepen and strengthen.

You made the right choice.

Welcome.

 

[I AM WE ARE]

I meditate and fast but not like I should and I know it
I told her thank you so many times and don't stop telling her, I'm hard to deal with

 

[Jimmy from Linkedin]

I have trouble fasting myself, I feel like absolute trash everytime I do it.

You are well on your way though breh, continue to be "hard" by enforcing patience on yourself.

 

[blaccbeard]

That no more having to dodge bullets from salty nikkas who cant take an L life, free at last

 

[Humble (Not) Mike Tyson]

I've been diagnosed with chronic PTSD,my girl says that I fight in my sleep but she's scared to wake me cause she doesn't want get accidently hit

Get well brother

 

[ahdsend]

I've been diagnosed with chronic PTSD,my girl says that I fight in my sleep but she's scared to wake me cause she doesn't want get accidently hit

yall both should see a therapist together if possible..


PTSD and marriage: Advice from someone who's been there - VAntage Point

 

[Ghost Utmost]

To develop a habit, it takes x amount of time

If you begin working out, it sucks. You don't feel like it because you're used to eating Cheetos and sitting still

Then after a while, you feel like running. Lifting. Moving around. Cause you've been moving around for a while now.

Being comfortable with peace is just literally sitting there and nothing too thrilling happening. That's what peace is all about. You've escaped the dramatic areas of the planet and found a still quiet spot. Or made one.

The problem is the problem of the mind. You feel uncomfortable. Probably a lot of plain ole boredom.

So like, what would you do if you had nothing else that you had to do. Unlimited free time. What would you do with your life? With yourself daily?

If you don't have an answer for that then that's your homework. Figure out what you think you might like to do.

If you DO have an answer for the above. What you would do if you had all the time in the world...

Do that shyt.

Do it after work. Do it on the weekends. Do it instead of watching YouTube for hours.

Then

You'll have something to think about. Purpose. You won't have time to sit around and let your mind torture you with uncomfortableness and boredom

 

[Neuromancer]

Were you able to see a therapist op?

 

[I AM WE ARE]

Were you able to see a therapist op?

I did briefly but his thing was over medication and he didn't believe me at first, then I showed him pictures of incidents that I've been in and he was like
But dude was no help

I'm fasting more, meditating at different times of the day, just have to get in the gym more

 

[Neuromancer]

I did briefly but his thing was over medication and he didn't believe me at first, then I showed him pictures of incidents that I've been in and he was like
But dude was no help

I'm fasting more, meditating at different times of the day, just have to get in the gym more

Sorry to hear.