so i don’t want this to be a whole THING but i also don’t want y’all to find out from somebody else and feel weird about it. that’s worse. so i’m just gonna say it. casually. like it’s nothing. because it kind of is nothing depending on how you look at it which is a skill i’ve been developing.
i’ve been in my car. for a minute.
NOT in like a sad way. don’t do that. don’t make that face i can feel you making it through the screen. it’s not what you think. i have a SETUP. there’s a difference between living in your car and having a vehicular residential situation. i’m the second one. look it up. (don’t look it up i made it up but it’s still real.)
my cousin marcus (not his real name. it’s marcus.) works overnight security at a strip mall off [redacted because the feds read this forum i’m not stupid] and he lets me park in the back lot by the dumpster but not THE dumpster the OTHER dumpster the one that’s mostly cardboard. cardboard dumpster is clean energy. food dumpster is a different conversation we’re not having tonight.
the spot is actually elite if you know what to look for. there’s a streetlight that’s broken in a GOOD way meaning it flickers but only sometimes so you get privacy AND light depending on what you need that night. it’s responsive. the light KNOWS. i’ve stopped questioning it.
amenities include:
• a 24 hour subway across the lot (closes at 9 but the sign lies and i respect that)
• a planet fitness 1.2 miles away where i shower (the $10 one not the black card one i’m not made of money YET)
• a panera that throws out bread at 9:47pm specifically. not 9:30. not 10. 9:47. set your watch.
• Marcus
marcus checks on me at 2am every night which is sweet but also he taps on the window with his flashlight and i’ve told him SEVERAL times to just text but he says “what if your phone dead” and honestly he’s got a point. marcus is wiser than people give him credit for. marcus didn’t finish high school but marcus knows things. marcus once told me “you can’t outrun a feeling in a parked car” and i think about that every single night specifically because i AM in a parked car so it’s extra relevant.
the back seat folds down which is the ONLY reason i bought this car in 2019 i SWEAR i had a feeling. premonition energy. i had no reason to need a fold-down back seat in 2019 my life was completely different but something in me KNEW. shoutout past me. you saw me coming.
i have a system. clothes in two duffel bags one for clean one for “situational.” toiletries in a shoebox. laptop charges at the subway during the day. i read a lot. i think a lot. honestly i’ve never been more myself which is either a beautiful thing or a red flag and i’ve decided it’s the first one.
the WORST part isn’t what you think. the worst part is target. i used to walk through target on saturdays just to be in there with the lights and the smell of the popcorn and now i can’t because target makes me feel like i USED to be somebody. and i AM somebody. just a different somebody. a parking lot somebody. and that’s still somebody. but target doesn’t know that. target only respects receipts.
i’m not asking for anything. don’t offer anything. if you offer something i’ll say no and then we’ll both feel weird. let’s skip that part.
i just wanted SOMEONE to know. and y’all are the closest thing to someones i have right now besides marcus and marcus already knows because marcus is LIVING it with me in a different way (he goes home at 6am to his mom’s house but spiritually he’s in the lot)
if you see a [car make/color redacted] with a man inside reading a book at 3am don’t tap the window. wave. just wave. that’s all i need.
ok that’s the post. don’t make it weird in the comments. or do. i can’t control y’all i learned that the hard way
i’ve been in my car. for a minute.
NOT in like a sad way. don’t do that. don’t make that face i can feel you making it through the screen. it’s not what you think. i have a SETUP. there’s a difference between living in your car and having a vehicular residential situation. i’m the second one. look it up. (don’t look it up i made it up but it’s still real.)
my cousin marcus (not his real name. it’s marcus.) works overnight security at a strip mall off [redacted because the feds read this forum i’m not stupid] and he lets me park in the back lot by the dumpster but not THE dumpster the OTHER dumpster the one that’s mostly cardboard. cardboard dumpster is clean energy. food dumpster is a different conversation we’re not having tonight.
the spot is actually elite if you know what to look for. there’s a streetlight that’s broken in a GOOD way meaning it flickers but only sometimes so you get privacy AND light depending on what you need that night. it’s responsive. the light KNOWS. i’ve stopped questioning it.
amenities include:
• a 24 hour subway across the lot (closes at 9 but the sign lies and i respect that)
• a planet fitness 1.2 miles away where i shower (the $10 one not the black card one i’m not made of money YET)
• a panera that throws out bread at 9:47pm specifically. not 9:30. not 10. 9:47. set your watch.
• Marcus
marcus checks on me at 2am every night which is sweet but also he taps on the window with his flashlight and i’ve told him SEVERAL times to just text but he says “what if your phone dead” and honestly he’s got a point. marcus is wiser than people give him credit for. marcus didn’t finish high school but marcus knows things. marcus once told me “you can’t outrun a feeling in a parked car” and i think about that every single night specifically because i AM in a parked car so it’s extra relevant.
the back seat folds down which is the ONLY reason i bought this car in 2019 i SWEAR i had a feeling. premonition energy. i had no reason to need a fold-down back seat in 2019 my life was completely different but something in me KNEW. shoutout past me. you saw me coming.
i have a system. clothes in two duffel bags one for clean one for “situational.” toiletries in a shoebox. laptop charges at the subway during the day. i read a lot. i think a lot. honestly i’ve never been more myself which is either a beautiful thing or a red flag and i’ve decided it’s the first one.
the WORST part isn’t what you think. the worst part is target. i used to walk through target on saturdays just to be in there with the lights and the smell of the popcorn and now i can’t because target makes me feel like i USED to be somebody. and i AM somebody. just a different somebody. a parking lot somebody. and that’s still somebody. but target doesn’t know that. target only respects receipts.
i’m not asking for anything. don’t offer anything. if you offer something i’ll say no and then we’ll both feel weird. let’s skip that part.
i just wanted SOMEONE to know. and y’all are the closest thing to someones i have right now besides marcus and marcus already knows because marcus is LIVING it with me in a different way (he goes home at 6am to his mom’s house but spiritually he’s in the lot)
if you see a [car make/color redacted] with a man inside reading a book at 3am don’t tap the window. wave. just wave. that’s all i need.
ok that’s the post. don’t make it weird in the comments. or do. i can’t control y’all i learned that the hard way
it's Saturday breh Law & Order Marathon is on
