So Kareem sets it off by trying to prove some sort of intellectual bonafides by name checking and quoting Thomas Wolfe and Ella Winter.
States a weirdly ambiguous argument: Bron seems sincere, but maybe some people think he isn't; therefore his homecoming isn't truly a homecoming - or is it? Maybe. Maybe not. Yes and no.
Then this is just a bunch of gobbledygook:
To some skeptical residents, LeBron’s return to Cleveland is less that of the prodigal son’s triumphant return home than the straying husband who abandoned his longtime partner to chase a younger, hotter, firmer slice having second thoughts. Having realized he traded a deep love for a sweaty romp, he’s coming home with a bouquet of roses in one hand and a diamond bracelet in the other, begging forgiveness for his foolish mistake of lustful youth.
I mean, I guess. But really it seems like this is sports, not romance or marriage, and everyone - residents, teammates, the owner, fans - are pretty damn thrilled Bron is back. Also, he didn't trade a deeper love for a sweaty romp - the nikka exercised his right as a free agent and won some championships. Terms like "foolish mistake" and "lustful youth" seem both overwrought and inapplicable given the reality of the situation.
Then Kareem switches back to argue against himself:
All that doesn’t make LeBron’s desire to return any less sincere. Who hasn’t at some time or other hurt those we loved? And it takes a lot of courage to return to what many Clevelanders might consider “the scene of the crime.” LeBron is one of the best players in the world. He could have gone anywhere, but he chose Cleveland, knowing he would have to endure a firestorm of criticism. Had he stayed in Miami or gone elsewhere, he would have been hoisted on shoulders and paraded through the streets. That testifies to his sincerity.
Still rocking with this lame romance analogy and a bizarre reference to the "crime" of free agency, but whatever.
Then he drops a personal anecdote that doesn't seem particularly relevant to LeBron's own experience/situation:
I’ve had some experience with wanting to go home. After playing with the Milwaukee Bucks for a few years at the beginning of my career, I had a longing to return to New York City. Oscar “The Big ‘O’” Robertson had retired, and without him we had come in last, with no significant draft picks and little hope of turning things around the next year. I didn’t go to the press to negotiate for more money or a better deal. I went to the owner and we had an amiable chat. We shook hands and kept it between ourselves so the team could make the best deal for them and me because we each felt loyalty to the other.
So in a different era, with an entirely different brand off sports media, different economics, and different everyfukkingthing, Kareem went to his owner to request a trade to New York. There were smiles, handshakes, and loyalty. I'm hearing Archie Bunker and his wife crooning "Those were the days" as. I read this part.
Then, yet anther personal anecdote that has very little relevance to LeBron's situation.
My attempt to return home failed because New York had no players Milwaukee wanted. Instead, I went to Los Angeles (a second home, since I attended UCLA) along with Walt Wesley and the Bucks got four players in exchange: Dave Meyers, Brian Winters, Elmore Smith and Junior Bridgeman.
So you can't go gone again... When the team at home doesn't have assets to trade for you. But you can go to your second home when that team does have trade bait. And this is pertinent to LeBron making decisions as a free agent because... Well... You know... Because Kareem scored a lot of points and is a legend and he's using a lot of words, y'all.
All of a sudden:
When LeBron left Cleveland he celebrated it as the Exodus from Egypt and enslavement, and that arrogance left a bitter taste in his fans’ mouths.
nikka what? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Dude just wrote that sentence. Like for real. Not on a messageboard, but for TIME. Good lord.
It was like showing up at a party with his new girlfriend when he knew his ex would be there. Tacky. Even his return to Cleveland might have been seen as more from the heart, as he states in his essay, if it had just been announced as a fait accompli instead of the press and fans waiting in anticipation for the word to come down from the mountain inscribed on tablets.
This is some serious projecting, some purple ass language, and some really weird reasoning.
LeBron’s return to the Cavaliers is good for basketball.
So far the big homie 'Reem done shytted on Bron, expressed ambivalence toward Bron, and saluted Bron. Dude has had a debate with himself as if he were 5 different people with different takes.
Each game now comes with a movie narrative attached: underdogs, redemption, forgiveness. I certainly will be watching. But the “coming home” narrative has been a little too orchestrated to silence the critics and slighted fans. But I think this passage from Wolfe’s “You Can’t Go Home Again” sums up LeBron’s dilemma: “He had learned that in spite of his strange body, so much off scale that it had often made him think himself a creature set apart, he was still the son and brother of all men living. He had learned that he could not devour the earth, that he must know and accept his limitations. He realized that much of his torment of the years past had been self-inflicted, and an inevitable part of growing up. And, most important of all for one who had taken so long to grow up, he thought he had learned not to be the slave of his emotions.” In that way, LeBron can come home because he’s grown up and realizes that being away from home made it that much more valuable.
Okay, Bron
can come home. And he has a strange body. Or some shyt. Now Captain Lew has made his stance clear, so. I can stop speculating as to what his point is and -
But in another way, LeBron can’t go home again.
At least not to the home he once knew. They may be grateful and joyful, but they are also wiser. Like the betrayed spouse, they will have to wait and see, they will have to be wooed, they will have to be convinced that his sincerity, to quote “Porgy and Bess,” ain’t a sometime thing.
Or, like people with some sanity, they will have to recognize they are fans of a business we call sports, and in that business teams and players cut ties with each other all the time, and no one is entitled to any single player regardless of where he is born or drafted, and they'll just be thrilled because the best player in the NBA will be suiting up for their favorite team again, with the added bonus that he might be serious about spreading money around town and investing in bettering conditions and opportunities for residents.
That shyt was an overwrought, doubletalking, melodramatic bag of hot nothing.
I'm slightly hurt by this, man. I will write some over-the-top shyt for comedy, but I try to always make a clear point, and speak to substance rather than melodrama.
That being said, I can admit that I've had my own issues with letting LeBron just be LeBron instead of projecting onto him my own expectations of how much better he could play in certain games or how he could've handled certain things both on and off the court. It's time to let all that bullshyt go though. He won his rings, decided to go back home, explained why, and I'm bored by all the weird reasons people are still finding to assail his character and shyt. I wish him nothing but greatness and success in Cleveland.