:smugkyrie: - "Santa Claus was actually an old quadriplegic celtic monk dipped in the blood of polar bears whose meat was used to feed hungry Aborigines in the area that became Vietnam back in 1252 AD. The red for his outfit was from the blood and the white beard is because he was not allowed to come out in the Sun and only came at night. He would come through the windows to feed the hungry Aboriginal children, not the chimeny because you know....the had to stay warm from the fire. They don't tell you that because these monks actually know the real year the world is ending and if people found out, they would convert to the real form of Buddhism......Happy Kwanzaa."