Ladies I need your help

[BmoreGorilla]

Im not officially a bachelor yet but cant lie this life is pretty good

Been talking to a whole bunch of chicks. Ages ranging from 24-35. Ive been out with a few of them and one Im seeing regularly. She's been divorced a year cuz her husband cheated. Has a daughter the same age as mine, own house, good career, and a master's degree. She has a lot of shyt going for her. Basically wife material. We talk everyday and been seeing each other a couple times a week now

Only problem is theres a couple chicks I need to explore things with first. Just went out this other girl I met for the first time last night.

She's a dime

She's been separated for two months, is 27, and has a good job at Comcast. We went out for a couple drinks and she was all over me. Basically ladies I need advice on what to do. Im really really feeling the one Ive been seeing regularly but im in no way ready for a relationship as I still got another situation to take care of. Plus im not emotionally there yet. Its clear she's looking for me to be her man at some point.

This might sound like some a$$hole shyt but how do I keep her around without committing? I don't wanna play games but I wanna stretch our situation out as long as possible

 

[sanityovar8ted]

be honest with them n let them decide......

 

[.༼-◕_◕-༽.]

Just take your time. Go on "dates" (discrete events with beginning and endings). If she asks, just let her know you need more time. Be safe. Get tested. You're a man whose broken hearted over your divorce and you need time to trust again...

 

[BmoreGorilla]

be honest with them n let them decide......

The one im seeing regularly knows im not ready for anything yet. She fully understands the situation cuz she's been there. I just don't want her to lose interest

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Just take your time. Go on "dates" (discrete events with beginning and endings). If she asks, just let her know you need more time. Be safe. Get tested. You're a man whose broken hearted over your divorce and you need time to trust again...

Im in no way ready to hop in a relationship right now but Im also not looking to make up for lost time like some dudes in my situation would be. Ive been there and done all that in the past.

 

[Matt504]

This might sound like some a$$hole shyt but how do I keep her around without committing? I don't wanna play games but I wanna stretch our situation out as long as possible

 

[BmoreGorilla]

 

[miranda]

why do we even try anymore? jeez

 

[BmoreGorilla]

why do we even try anymore? jeez

explain please

 

[Raava]

The best thing you can do in this situtaion is be straight up. Even if you find something that seems perfect if you aren't ready you aren't ready. Also things that seem really good at first may not be as good later. Trying to keep her around without commitment is an assholish thing to do if commitment is something she wants. I feel like all you owe people is the truth and they take it how they take it your hands or clean. It's a lot less headaches in the long run. If she decides to keep it going, or perhaps "change your mind" it's on her.

I remember a long time ago when I ended my relationship with my sons father I meet someone soon after. It seemed really perfect, we had so much in common. He was a good dude. He had a son around the same age. The our first date was just perfect. We just clicked. I could see it going somewhere serious fast, but I knew I wasn't ready. I was honest with dude and we stopped talking. It was only right. He is now married and I have a really really good thing something great. Don't be afraid to let go of something you aren't ready for. Don't hurt people being selfish. It doesn't mean it was meant or you won't find it again.

 

[Paradise]

I mean the only thing you can do is be open and honest with your current situation.

Just keep engaging with the first woman to let her know that you are still interested in her.

But honestly don't keep her waiting to long because a person seeking real companionship is not going to wait around long for someone to "figure out" what they want to do.

I hope this helps you... may the better woman win!

 

[BmoreGorilla]

The best thing you can do in this situtaion is be straight up. Even if you find something that seems perfect if you aren't ready you aren't ready. Also things that seem really good at first may not be as good later. Trying to keep her around without commitment is an assholish thing to do if commitment is something she wants. I feel like all you owe people is the truth and they take it how they take it your hands or clean. It's a lot less headaches in the long run. If she decides to keep it going, or perhaps "change your mind" it's on her.

I remember a long time ago when I ended my relationship with my sons father I meet someone soon after. It seemed really perfect, we had so much in common. He was a good dude. He had a son around the same age. The our first date was just perfect. We just clicked. I could see it going somewhere serious fast, but I knew I wasn't ready. I was honest with dude and we stopped talking. It was only right. He is now married and I have a really really good thing something great. Don't be afraid to let go of something you aren't ready for. Don't hurt people being selfish. It doesn't mean it was meant or you won't find it again.

I mean the only thing you can do is be open and honest with your current situation.

Just keep engaging with the first woman to let her know that you are still interested in her.

But honestly don't keep her waiting to long because a person seeking real companionship is not going to wait around long for someone to "figure out" what they want to do.

I hope this helps you... may the better woman win!

Appreciate that. Ive been completely honest with her. She knows I have options and all that. But I do feel like God puts people in your life for a reason. I don't wanna miss out on what possibly could be a real good thing

 

[Raava]

Appreciate that. Ive been completely honest with her. She knows I have options and all that. But I do feel like God puts people in your life for a reason. I don't wanna miss out on what possibly could be a real good thing

Like I said I was in situation like that and I let it go. You said you were honest so that's on her now. Unless you are willing to settle down if that's what she wants, because you don't want to lose her let her go. It's not fair to her otherwise.

 

[The Mad Titan]

Your a good dude for even worrying about this, most dudes dont even give this thought. So your already ahead of the curve, that or I might just be saying this because I've fought with the same thing before. I'll be honest with you, most women do not handle knowing there an option well AT all. Unless they aren't looking for anything serious at all either, even then women don't like being an option. Its one of the few double standards when it comes to dating that is ok for them to have and not for us.


Women keep options, they talk, date and get to know as many dudes as they want until they select the one they want and most dont feel any kind of way about it. But as men, we can't really do that and get away (be open) with it. You got a handful of women you like and one or two that you really really like. Keep it to yourself until somethings official or make it know ASAP and I mean like the 1st couple weeks or so.


It also depends on the woman, some can handle that your dating and that they are an option (one you really like) others can't and that's fine. That might help you thin out who you need to focus on anyway. I mean you got alot going on, its selfish of them to expect you to drop everyone and just focus on them and your not evening in a relationship yet.


Now if you here having sex with them all and selling them all different dreams then that's messed up but outside of that, I'd suggest keeping the fact that your dating or like more than one of them to yourself. In the past I've messed up more than a few potential relationships trying to be completely open with people I'm not even in a relationship with yet that I had to step back and be like you "Keep that ish to yourself" all you do is give the other person something to worry or ponder about. It goes from getting to know each other in there minds to a competition that most would rather not participate in rather than not be "selected"



That's just my two cents and experience coming from a breh that has done the bare soul thing. Even with the best of intentions and good heart you'll end up burning yourself, if asked be honest, if sex gets involved with more than one potentially then you might want to speak on it. Outside of that just dating and pick the one that you feel like will work out best for you.

 

[BmoreGorilla]

Your a good dude for even worrying about this, most dudes dont even give this thought. So your already ahead of the curve, that or I might just be saying this because I've fought with the same thing before. I'll be honest with you, most women do not handle knowing there an option well AT all. Unless they aren't looking for anything serious at all either, even then women don't like being an option. Its one of the few double standards when it comes to dating that is ok for them to have and not for us.


Women keep options, they talk, date and get to know as many dudes as they want until they select the one they want and most dont feel any kind of way about it. But as men, we can't really do that and get away (be open) with it. You got a handful of women you like and one or two that you really really like. Keep it to yourself until somethings official or make it know ASAP and I mean like the 1st couple weeks or so.


It also depends on the woman, some can handle that your dating and that they are an option (one you really like) others can't and that's fine. That might help you thin out who you need to focus on anyway. I mean you got alot going on, its selfish of them to expect you to drop everyone and just focus on them and your not evening in a relationship yet.


Now if you here having sex with them all and selling them all different dreams then that's messed up but outside of that, I'd suggest keeping the fact that your dating or like more than one of them to yourself. In the past I've messed up more than a few potential relationships trying to be completely open with people I'm not even in a relationship with yet that I had to step back and be like you "Keep that ish to yourself" all you do is give the other person something to worry or ponder about. It goes from getting to know each other in there minds to a competition that most would rather not participate in rather than not be "selected"



That's just my two cents and experience coming from a breh that has done the bare soul thing. Even with the best of intentions and good heart you'll end up burning yourself, if asked be honest, if sex gets involved with more than one potentially then you might want to speak on it. Outside of that just dating and pick the one that you feel like will work out best for you.

Appreciate the feedback
This dating thing is foreign to me. Last time I was single Myspace was new and I was broke

This one chick didn't wanna talk to me anymore when she found out I didn't have a Facebook account