"LADIES we don't wanna hear a SOB STORY if u get ya a$$ beat more than 1nce"-CURTIS Sc00n

[RAX 010]

Nobody with a brain and any decency thinks staying in an abusive relationship is a good thing.

But people make mistakes and sometimes are not yet in an emotional space where they've found it in them to leave. It's particularly problematic when the man is the breadwinner...or if there's kids involved.

Of course the woman should leave. But this is an example of why a lot of TLR posters are full of shyt. They demand everyone tread delicately whenever there's an issue of black men engaging in poor or self-destructive behavior, and to not blame the victim (and I generally agree with that sentiment...we are all primarily creatures of circumstance and we should avoid blaming those who are oppressed for reacting to oppression in maladaptive ways).

But any time women make poor decisions, it's all this compassion-less "hard on hoes/feminism is evil" hybrid of hip-hop misogyny and conservative pull yourself up by your bootstraps bullshyt.

There is no excuse point blank period.
And it makes no sense that people try and compare 1 issue to another and try to justify saying some stupid sh!t because you got into an argument with another poster over something else...
this kind of behavior is ruing the coli ...

stick to 1 topic and discuss it without bringing in beef from other threads
because not everyone holds the same views of these topics

 

[Dusty Bake Activate]

There is no excuse point blank period.
And it makes no sense that people try and compare 1 issue to another and try to justify saying some stupid sh!t because you got into an argument with another poster over something else...
this kind of behavior is ruing the coli ...

stick to 1 topic and discuss it without bringing in beef from other threads
because not everyone holds the same views of these topics

I'm only speaking on this topic. I didn't say there was an excuse. I'm saying browbeating and shaming victims in a bad situation isn't a good way to go about things. If you knew a woman close to you getting her ass whipped by her man, would you try to firmly talk sense to her and be there for emotional support or would you tell her she's a stupid bytch?

A lot of women have came out of abusive relationships and flourished and prospered in life.

 

[BedRoomI'z]

We gotta stop blaming the victim because it sure don't change shyt.

Sometimes those women be too afraid to leave those dudes and they still end up getting killed.

This just happened down here last week.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...m4ydsJ_f2Caw3NQqQ&sig2=BCWPIyeTGmF305PT7RA29A

 

[Bay Area]

Educating ignorant people about the psychological factors involved in abusive relationships is an uphill battle.

 

[RAX 010]

I'm only speaking on this topic. I didn't say there was an excuse. I'm saying browbeating and shaming victims in a bad situation isn't a good way to go about things. If you knew a woman close to you getting her ass whipped by her man, would you try to firmly talk sense to her and be there for emotional support or would you tell her she's a stupid bytch?

A lot of women have came out of abusive relationships and flourished and prospered in life.

Yes you were referring to how come men get treated more sensitive when they are the victim
The Point is
If you are getting your ass beat get the hell outta there asap!!!...its no one else fault but your own after the point of realization
ive witnessed abusive relationships from almost every angle possible...
and why should we have to handle grown ass adults with "baby gloves"?

I have my black womans back but just like anyone else sometimes we want to be hardheaded and learn things the hard way...

you dont wanna leave because he is the breadwinner or because of kids gtfoh
cmon now ladies have abandoned their families for far less and have prospered successfully so miss me wit all that bullsh!t

 

[Yogi]

I agree with Sc00n. I have no sympathy for a woman who gets her ass beat more than once by a boyfriend/husband. Stop making excuses for women who keep making poor choices.

 

[BedRoomI'z]

I agree with Sc00n. I have no sympathy for a woman who gets her ass beat more than once by a boyfriend/husband. Stop making excuses for women who keep making poor choices.

If she gets out and he goes off the deep end and take her life, then what?

The pathology behind DV is much more complex than people outside of it realizes.

All I would want women to do is be more perceptive and see the early signs. Emotional and verbal abuse are always first indicators.

 

[Turbulent]

If she gets out and he goes off the deep end and take her life, then what?

The pathology behind DV is much more complex than people outside of it realizes.

All I would want women to do is be more perceptive and see the early signs. Emotional and verbal abuse are always first indicators.

i feel you but these signs is what makes some people feel alive on some shyt.

so ultimately, even if they see the signs, it doesn't matter. being on the verge of losing that control is what gives them the tingles...

 

[Greenstrings]

I've never been put in a situation where I've had to choose between:
my physical safety/emotional health on one hand,
with my pride/ the wellbeing of my kids/food on the table and a roof over my head on the other.

So the fukk I look like sitting on an internet forum making point black ultimatums about what women in such situations should do?

 

[BedRoomI'z]

The thrill of trying to tame some wild beast is for the fukking birds and this is coming from a woman. I know these kinds of relationships breed lots of passion and violence.

Its a sad and never ending cycle.

 

[86\*/98]

If she gets out and he goes off the deep end and take her life, then what?

The pathology behind DV is much more complex than people outside of it realizes.

All I would want women to do is be more perceptive and see the early signs. Emotional and verbal abuse are always first indicators.

And what if he goes off the deep end when you're still with him, and ends up killing you?

I'm sorry, but I agree with what buddy had to say. People accept what they think they deserve.

 

[MercuryHayes]

If she gets out and he goes off the deep end and take her life, then what?

The pathology behind DV is much more complex than people outside of it realizes.

All I would want women to do is be more perceptive and see the early signs. Emotional and verbal abuse are always first indicators.

So your suggestion is for her to stay and continue to get beat? The reason she's staying is because she's scared he's going to take her life...but he's already taken her life...until she gains some self worth and moves from the situation.


It's not about blaming the victim, it's very obvious the offender is the problem, but are women EVER going to be accountable for their (lack of) actions?

 

[BedRoomI'z]

And what if he goes off the deep end when you're still with him, and ends up killing you?

I'm sorry, but I agree with what buddy had to say. People accept what they think they deserve.

I agree with that last part, for real.
I think there should be better protection for those women who are brave enough to leave.

 

[RAX 010]

Not understanding how we are not all in agreement that a woman or man should leave an abusive relationship...

now who here does not agree?

 

[BatWoman]

It is not just physical abuse. It is also mental. These dudes just don't swinging on the second date. They tear the victim down emotionally and build fear in its place.