LOL, cut from the same cloth, he belonged on them Blazers
Lets look back at the Jail Blazers for a sec
- Thread starter No..Money..Mo..Problems
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when that dropsDamon Stoudamire is the new head coach at Pacific University, so the local radio station in Portland interviewed him yesterday. He said HBO is working on a documentary on the Jailblazers and will have all the key players involved.
I hope it is done right. This is one of my most anticipated stories i wanted covered via documentary or book. It needs to be done right, the behind the scenes stories are too good.
Remember The Most Notorious Moments Of Portland's Jail Blazers Era
The Jail Blazers era was an undeniably entertaining time in Portland, and if we can’t exactly look back fondly on it, we can at least laugh at our collective pain as we reminisce about some of the lowlights it produced.
That Time Damon Stoudamire And Rasheed Wallace Got Pulled Over For Smoking Weed In A Yellow Hummer On The Way Home From A Game Against The Sonics
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Let those among us who’ve never blazed up on a road trip with our friends cast the first stone here. This is easily one of the more amusing and comparatively harmless examples of the Jail Blazers’ misadventures.
On Nov. 21, 2002, following a win over the Sonics, Stoudamire and Wallace skipped the team bus and drove back to Portland in Stoudamire’s totally-inconspicuous, canary-yellow Hummer.
They got pulled over for speeding somewhere along the way, where presumably a cartoon cloud of marijuana smoke came billowing out of the driver-side window right into the state trooper’s face. They both eventually agreed to plea bargains.
That Time Damon Stoudamire Tried To Smuggle Over An Ounce Of Weed Onto An Airplane
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The following summer, Stoudamire was arrested at the Tuscon airport for trying to bring an ounce-and-a-half of weed onto a commercial flight.
Let’s not forget that these were already post-911 days, not the Wild West of the Transportation Security Administration just a decade or so prior when anybody and their sister could waltz onto an airplane carrying all kinds of questionable contraband without a second glance.
But the best part by far was Stoudamire’s ingenious plan of wrapping the weed in tinfoil before sending it through … you guessed it … the standard-issue metal detector that everyone and their belongings must pass through on the way to the gate.
That Time Bonzi Wells Alienated The Entire Blazers’ Fan Base
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By 2001, the relationship between the players and hometown fans (not to mention the local media) had grown increasingly contentious, and after being booed at home during a loss, Bonzi Wells managed to exacerbate the situation exponentially with this infamous quote in Sports Illustrated:
“We’re not really going to worry about what the hell [the fans] think about us. They really don’t matter to us. They can boo us every day, but they are still going to ask for our autographs if they see us on the street. That’s why they are fans and we are NBA players.”
Wells spent two more seasons in Portland after those comments before being traded to Memphis for Wes Pearson. His NBA career was essentially over after that.
That Time Qyntel Woods Got Busted For Running An Underground Dog Fighting Ring Out Of His Home
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It was Michael Vick who ultimately brought to light the seedy counterculture of underground dog fighting that operates in the shadows of some pro sports circles. But Blazers forward Qyntel Woods was a couple of years ahead of the curve. In 2004, animal control picked up a wounded pit bull Woods abandoned in an alleyway near his home in Portland.
When local authorities searched his property, they found evidence of an organized dog-fighting ring and subsequently removed six abused/neglected pit bulls from the home. He was initially charged with felony dog-fighting, but was eventually able to plea down to misdemeanor animal abuse. The team waived him almost immediately after.
That Time Qyntel Woods Tried To Use A Basketball Card As ID After Being Pulled Over By Police
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I know what you’re thinking: this has to be one of the most hilariously-brazen examples of the time-honored “do you have any idea who I am” defense douchebag famous people use to try and get out of trouble with the law.
But evidently Woods simply didn’t have a driver’s license or proof of insurance, both of which were offenses he’d already been charged with less than a year prior. Of course, the truly unforgivable crime here is that Woods apparently carried his own basketball card around with him at all times.
That Time Darius Miles Called Maurice Cheeks The Dreaded N-Word
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Darius Miles had already been disciplined several times that season for various behavioral issues, and his acrimonious relationship with Maurice Cheeks reached its apotheosis during a film session one afternoon in 2005 when Miles reportedly lambasted the embattled Blazers coach with a barrage of racial epithets.
And he’s not the only one who had his issues with Cheeks. Wells was suspended twice in 2003 for blowing up on the coach. It’d gotten so out of control that, by the time of the Miles incident, Cheeks contemplated quitting basketball altogether.
That Time Ruben Patterson Sexually Assaulted His Au Pair
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In fairness, Patterson was technically a member of the Seattle Supersonics when he agreed to a plea bargain for the attempted rape of the family’s nanny. As part of the deal, he was sentenced to 15 days in jail and required to register as a sex offender. (The incident is re-imagined in graphic detail in Jeff Benedict’s problematic 2004 book about crime in the NBA, Out of Bounds.)
But that didn’t stop the Blazers from signing him just a few months later and subsequently letting him lurk around until 2006. He was arrested again in 2002 for domestic violence, but the charges were later dropped. Like other players on this list, he had issues with whoever happened to be coaching at the time and earned a suspension in 2006 for a run-in with Nate McMillan before getting traded later that season.
That Time Zach Randolph Sucker-Punched Ruben Patterson During Practice And Shattered His Eye Socket
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Zach Randolph’s animus toward Ruben Patterson started almost the moment they set foot on court together. Patterson was notorious for bullying the younger guys in practice; however, the precocious Randolph relished every opportunity to battle team veterans in the post. It was a volatile mix.
One day during a scrimmage in 2003, Patterson was being a little overzealous about targeting Qyntel Woods, so Randolph – who we now know does not bluff – decided to take matters in his own hands and hit Patterson with a devastating hay-maker that literally broke his face.
According to a fantastic Grantland profile from a few years ago, Randolph hid out at Dale Davis’ place for a few days after the altercation because he legitimately worried that Patterson might try to shoot him
Miscellaneous Other Zach Randolph Incidences
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Randolph hasn’t played for the Blazers in almost a decade, but he still owns a house there, and the specter of his tumultuous tenure haunts the city to this day. In 2011, members of Z-Bo’s entourage viciously assaulted and robbed a man who was delivering weed to his Portland-area mansion, reportedly beating him savagely with pool cues. You know it’s bad when a weed dealer calls the cops on you.
And that wasn’t the first incident since his departure. Just a few months after he’d been traded to the Knicks in 2007, Z-Bo returned to Portland and hosted a giant New Year’s Eve party at a now-defunct hip hop club called the Greek Cuisina. A huge brawl broke out involving more than 50 people, but miraculously, no charges were ever filed. Regardless, some embittered Portlanders still hold Randolph responsible for getting one of city’s oldest hip hop clubs closed down soon after.
The Jail Blazers era was an undeniably entertaining time in Portland, and if we can’t exactly look back fondly on it, we can at least laugh at our collective pain as we reminisce about some of the lowlights it produced.
That Time Damon Stoudamire And Rasheed Wallace Got Pulled Over For Smoking Weed In A Yellow Hummer On The Way Home From A Game Against The Sonics
GETTY IMAGE
Let those among us who’ve never blazed up on a road trip with our friends cast the first stone here. This is easily one of the more amusing and comparatively harmless examples of the Jail Blazers’ misadventures.
On Nov. 21, 2002, following a win over the Sonics, Stoudamire and Wallace skipped the team bus and drove back to Portland in Stoudamire’s totally-inconspicuous, canary-yellow Hummer.
They got pulled over for speeding somewhere along the way, where presumably a cartoon cloud of marijuana smoke came billowing out of the driver-side window right into the state trooper’s face. They both eventually agreed to plea bargains.
That Time Damon Stoudamire Tried To Smuggle Over An Ounce Of Weed Onto An Airplane
GETTY IMAGE
The following summer, Stoudamire was arrested at the Tuscon airport for trying to bring an ounce-and-a-half of weed onto a commercial flight.
Let’s not forget that these were already post-911 days, not the Wild West of the Transportation Security Administration just a decade or so prior when anybody and their sister could waltz onto an airplane carrying all kinds of questionable contraband without a second glance.
But the best part by far was Stoudamire’s ingenious plan of wrapping the weed in tinfoil before sending it through … you guessed it … the standard-issue metal detector that everyone and their belongings must pass through on the way to the gate.
That Time Bonzi Wells Alienated The Entire Blazers’ Fan Base
GETTY IMAGE
By 2001, the relationship between the players and hometown fans (not to mention the local media) had grown increasingly contentious, and after being booed at home during a loss, Bonzi Wells managed to exacerbate the situation exponentially with this infamous quote in Sports Illustrated:
“We’re not really going to worry about what the hell [the fans] think about us. They really don’t matter to us. They can boo us every day, but they are still going to ask for our autographs if they see us on the street. That’s why they are fans and we are NBA players.”
Wells spent two more seasons in Portland after those comments before being traded to Memphis for Wes Pearson. His NBA career was essentially over after that.
That Time Qyntel Woods Got Busted For Running An Underground Dog Fighting Ring Out Of His Home
GETTY IMAGE
It was Michael Vick who ultimately brought to light the seedy counterculture of underground dog fighting that operates in the shadows of some pro sports circles. But Blazers forward Qyntel Woods was a couple of years ahead of the curve. In 2004, animal control picked up a wounded pit bull Woods abandoned in an alleyway near his home in Portland.
When local authorities searched his property, they found evidence of an organized dog-fighting ring and subsequently removed six abused/neglected pit bulls from the home. He was initially charged with felony dog-fighting, but was eventually able to plea down to misdemeanor animal abuse. The team waived him almost immediately after.
That Time Qyntel Woods Tried To Use A Basketball Card As ID After Being Pulled Over By Police
GETTY IMAGE
I know what you’re thinking: this has to be one of the most hilariously-brazen examples of the time-honored “do you have any idea who I am” defense douchebag famous people use to try and get out of trouble with the law.
But evidently Woods simply didn’t have a driver’s license or proof of insurance, both of which were offenses he’d already been charged with less than a year prior. Of course, the truly unforgivable crime here is that Woods apparently carried his own basketball card around with him at all times.
That Time Darius Miles Called Maurice Cheeks The Dreaded N-Word
GETTY IMAGE
Darius Miles had already been disciplined several times that season for various behavioral issues, and his acrimonious relationship with Maurice Cheeks reached its apotheosis during a film session one afternoon in 2005 when Miles reportedly lambasted the embattled Blazers coach with a barrage of racial epithets.
And he’s not the only one who had his issues with Cheeks. Wells was suspended twice in 2003 for blowing up on the coach. It’d gotten so out of control that, by the time of the Miles incident, Cheeks contemplated quitting basketball altogether.
That Time Ruben Patterson Sexually Assaulted His Au Pair
GETTY IMAGE
In fairness, Patterson was technically a member of the Seattle Supersonics when he agreed to a plea bargain for the attempted rape of the family’s nanny. As part of the deal, he was sentenced to 15 days in jail and required to register as a sex offender. (The incident is re-imagined in graphic detail in Jeff Benedict’s problematic 2004 book about crime in the NBA, Out of Bounds.)
But that didn’t stop the Blazers from signing him just a few months later and subsequently letting him lurk around until 2006. He was arrested again in 2002 for domestic violence, but the charges were later dropped. Like other players on this list, he had issues with whoever happened to be coaching at the time and earned a suspension in 2006 for a run-in with Nate McMillan before getting traded later that season.
That Time Zach Randolph Sucker-Punched Ruben Patterson During Practice And Shattered His Eye Socket
GETTY IMAGE
Zach Randolph’s animus toward Ruben Patterson started almost the moment they set foot on court together. Patterson was notorious for bullying the younger guys in practice; however, the precocious Randolph relished every opportunity to battle team veterans in the post. It was a volatile mix.
One day during a scrimmage in 2003, Patterson was being a little overzealous about targeting Qyntel Woods, so Randolph – who we now know does not bluff – decided to take matters in his own hands and hit Patterson with a devastating hay-maker that literally broke his face.
According to a fantastic Grantland profile from a few years ago, Randolph hid out at Dale Davis’ place for a few days after the altercation because he legitimately worried that Patterson might try to shoot him
Miscellaneous Other Zach Randolph Incidences
GETTY IMAGE
Randolph hasn’t played for the Blazers in almost a decade, but he still owns a house there, and the specter of his tumultuous tenure haunts the city to this day. In 2011, members of Z-Bo’s entourage viciously assaulted and robbed a man who was delivering weed to his Portland-area mansion, reportedly beating him savagely with pool cues. You know it’s bad when a weed dealer calls the cops on you.
And that wasn’t the first incident since his departure. Just a few months after he’d been traded to the Knicks in 2007, Z-Bo returned to Portland and hosted a giant New Year’s Eve party at a now-defunct hip hop club called the Greek Cuisina. A huge brawl broke out involving more than 50 people, but miraculously, no charges were ever filed. Regardless, some embittered Portlanders still hold Randolph responsible for getting one of city’s oldest hip hop clubs closed down soon after.
OGBobbyJohnson
Veteran
MooseMouthMthafuga
Veteran
In todays league, that final 3 pt attempt by Russel probably would've drawn a foul call
OGBobbyJohnson
Veteran
Since the Blazers are relevant again lets look back at the Jail Blazers era and show our respects to the 24/7 fukkery they provided.
The ignorance level was
http://elitedaily.com/sports/where-the-hell-are-the-portland-jail-blazers/
The notable players during the Jail Blazers tenure were: Bonzi Wells, Rasheed Wallace, Damon Stoudamire, Zach Randolph, Ruben Patterson, Scottie Pippen, Chris Dudley, Arvydas Sabonis, Darius Miles, Qyntel Woods,Shawn Kemp and Omar Cook. One would look at this roster and think to themselves – Wow, if they had it together they could actually have been a great team — but instead they acted more immaturely than any other athletes whom we can remember.
The Jail Blazers were known for doing stupid sh*t. They fought amongst themselves as well as with the public. They cursed at autograph seekers, they stole from teammates and they even threatened the lives of the staff. This was considered to be just another day at the office for the Jail Blazers. Their attitude was quite simple: To hell with this city, I’m gonna go out and get mine. The Blazers managed to fall short of any expectations, even the easiest that included representing a city that loves its team.
Let’s take a look at the most absurd group of dope smoking, wife-beating, salary-stealing NBA players in history.
Patterson: A registered sex offender who was arrested for felony domestic abuse against his wife at the time. He also attempted to rape his children’s nanny.
Randolph: Managed a DUI and punched out Patterson during practice, breaking his eye socket. He was as one of the laziest players in the NBA. The cops were even studying Randolph’s MTV “Cribs” episode because known felons appeared to be lounging at Randolph’s house.
Stoudamire: Multiple marijuana charges, including speeding while under the influence and trying to gain access through an airport metal detector with 1.5 ounces of the drug wrapped in aluminum foil.
Woods: Marijuana charge and was also arrested for animal abuse because of participation in a dog fighting operation.
Kemp: Had to leave the Blazers mid-season to enter rehab for cocaine and alcohol abuse. Has fathered seven children out of wedlock (and the number is actually thought to be higher).
Wells: “They [the fans] really don’t matter to us.”
Wallace: Aside from his record for most technical fouls, he also threatened a ref after a game (Although, it was Tim Donaghy, so in retrospect…)
Jermaine O’Neal: Nothing as a Blazer, but he didn’t help matters… he went loco during the “Malice at the Palace,” so I doubt he was a saint while he was there.
Derek Anderson: The swingman was once “spotted in 2005… going through a drive-through window at McDonald’s while his team was playing a game at the Rose Garden.”
Darius Miles: Used the “N” word toward his coach Mo Cheeks, which Cheeks found offensive, suspended by the league for dope smoking, and is also one of the biggest wastes of God-given athletic ability in history. He also played in that terrible movie where college students cheated on their SATs. Must have not been that hard for him to play as he probably experienced it first hand
My two favorite stories come courtesy of “The Big Lead” by way of Canzano:
“Whenever the Blazers sign a player to a 10-day contract the equipment manager provides the player with a free set of team-issue luggage. Sort of a welcome gift. Nothing incredibly fancy, but it’s way better than the stuff I have. So Omar Cook is signed a couple of years ago, and the luggage is placed in front of his locker.
Cook was flying in from out of town, so he’s not there yet. Ruben Patterson, the team’s registered sex offender, sees the luggage, knows Cook isn’t around yet, and Patterson basically just decides he’s going to abscond the luggage. He just rips the name tags off and takes it. Nobody says a word, either. It’s not anything violent, but it demonstrates the lack of decency and respect that permeated.”
And this one as well, from the same article:
“Another time, in the visiting locker room in Dallas, I had Rasheed Wallace threaten to punch me after a playoff-game loss. Deadline was approaching, I’m the only writer in the locker room and I’m asking Rasheed questions, and he whips around, and tells me to get out of his space or he’s going to punch me out. At that point, his teammates are all looking to see how I react, and in no way am I going to back down.I’m looking at Rasheed, and thinking if he takes a swing I’m going to try and stuff him into the locker behind him if only because journalists everywhere need me to man up in that situation. Either that, or I’m going to get knocked out and blow my deadline. So I tell him I’m not moving. I just stand there, holding my notepad and recorder, and we’re staring at each other. He eventually storms past me to the shower, and while he’s gone Zach Randolph, a rookie then, leans in to me and says, “When ‘sheed comes back, make sure you don’t have your back to him. He’ll sucker punch you.”The great irony is that a month later Randolph sucker-punched Ruben Patterson during a practice breaking his eye socket. Someone was holding Patterson’s arms when Randolph threw the haymaker. There was a period of a few days after that incident where Randolph hid out at Dale Davis’ house because he feared that Patterson was going to try and shoot him.”
Nah, they weren't gonna be a great team, that's definitely an exaggeration.
Shawn Kemp was so washed by the time he joined Portland that we only refer to him as "fat Shawn Kemp", as if "fat" is his actual first name.
Pippen and Sabonis had their last sorta good year when they were like 35yo in 2000, before the Blazers were the "Jail Blazers". The team began descending into madness in 2001, and both of them were half-washed by then.
Stoudamire by that stage in his career was just an unreliable jump shooter who was limited by his height, he wasn't going to do any better than he did.
Bonzi and Patterson were solid role players, nothing special.
Dudley, Miles, Woods, Cook were never good.
Zach Randolph wasn't any good until 2004, his 3rd season, by which time all the other good players listed there were gone.
Also, Kemp, Pippen, Bonzi, Patterson, Miles, Woods, and Randolph are all forwards. Literally all their talent was at forward other than washed Sabonis who retired in 2001 and 5'10" Stoudamire who couldn't be relied on. You can't make a great team with nothing but forwards.
2000 was the only year that team had a chance to compete. After that, even on their best behavior they would have just been Sheed surrounded by a flawed supporting cast up to 2003, then Randolph surrounded by a flawed supporting cast from 2004 on. Neither one of those options is a great team.
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I remember hearing the nickname growing up…was it used by sports media and had any of the players actually been to jail at the time? I remember some issues on the court/behind the scenes as a result of the “bad boy” personas but it was a long time ago so I don’t remember anything specific actually
*edit*
nvm…OP provided a player breakdown
*edit*
nvm…OP provided a player breakdown
focusloco
All Star
That team had 2 UNLV Rebel legends in Stacey Augmon and Coach Tim Gurg that ran the Ameoba defense at UNLV maybe The greatest college basketball team in 1990