My main homies?
Main homie #1, I decided to get a place with him on some Franklin and Bash shyt. 3 months into it, he breaks the lease and bounces to go live with his mom because he couldn't pay rent and support his video game habit at the same time. left me $1700 in the hole. Keep in mind that he was 27 at the time.
Main homie #2... dude was like my brother and shyt. We literally grew up together. His great uncle was fukking my mom, his uncle was fukking my sister. I know for a fact that dude was a legit whore nikka with like 400+ girls under his belt, and that's shyt I can personally verify. I remember once waay back when I first joined Ill Community, I was #HOH there was this chick from like Jersey or Vermont talking about how all men weren't dogs.... she had my boy in her avatar. And I hadn't seen the nikka in like a year. I just knew he had fukked some broad and left her crying to me on the phone about it. I was fukking DEAD. I called her out on this and used his name and nickname and told her she was a fool. Never saw her again.
anyway sorry. He showed up on my doorstep begging for a place to stay (for the third time), Bounced on me when he didn't pay the light bill and it got cut off. Left me in the dark and shyt. I hadn't really talked to dude since.
There was a time when his family went through a string of deaths that can only be like... loneliness and despair leading to other people dying. His aunt (the woman tht raised him) died, then that uncle I mentioned died, then his other aunt died. All within two months. He was calling me and calling me and shyt.... I knew breh just needed somebody to lean on and I've always been the "strong one", carrying everybody's weight and responsibilities and dealing with death and shyt....
But all I could think about was how everybody ALWAYS showed up in my life, used me till I didn't have shyt left and then bounced. Dumped all their problems on me and bounced. Cause I'm the "Strong one". And how whenever I go through shyt, I go through it by myself and nobody gives a shyt.
So I never answered. I never called him back.
Thinking about it right now got me sad as hell. Like... I'm a shytty human being. I turned into the very type of person I was angry at. Dude was like my brother.
but fukk it I'm only at this low point cause I never learned to be as selfish as the people I allowed in my life.
fukk it.
shoulda done it sooner
