Before I go any further, I need to make it clear that we had or at least that I thought we had a great marriage. We both have a therapist and once a month we have joint sessions. Not because we've been fighting or have dealt with infidelity, just because our parents suggested it. They said that being mentally well was key to having a sustained and happy marriage.
Because of this we (or at least I thought) have been really great at communicating. We're in tune with one another. We have fun together and we laugh together and we still date each other. two weeks ago I was the happiest man on earth. Every time I looked at her I felt like the universe was smiling at me. She's my queen. I'd do anything for her. In fact, if someone broke into our home right now, I'd happily die for that woman. And based on her actions and her words and our experiences together, I felt confident that she felt the same about me.
With regards to sex, we have it often and we both initiate sex just as much as the other. She's always seemed eager and enthused. She communicates great what she wants and what she likes. We laugh and talk and smile while we have sex. She even has commented before on how the way I smell turns her on. I'm certainly sexually attracted to her and I believed she was equally as attracted to me. (Sex is more or less the big issue here, which is why I'm even mentioning it)
So two weeks ago my wife tells me we need to talk and that it's urgent. I sit with her in our basement and she tells me through tears that she has no physical attraction to me whatsoever. She tells me she's bisexual but that she's emotionally attracted to me but that she "hates" sex with me and that she's tried everything to get herself to enjoy it. She says she can hardly bear the urges for women anymore and that she feels she's going to "blow up". She assured me that she is still "and forever will" be "madly and totally" in love with the person that I am, but that she feels like she's "two people in one body at war with each other".
I'm crushed. All this time it's been a lie. Sex is extremely important to me. It's one of the ways I communicate my love and devotion to her. I thought it was special. But now I feel as though this act of love between us has been a big lie for 7 years.
I don't think I can weather this. I feel like I've been gutted.
I don't give a shyt about how "complicated" sexuality is. I don't give a shyt about how hard this must have been for her to say. I don't give a shyt about how she must have been "closeted to herself". I don't fukking care about that. I only care that my hearts been ripped out. If you're going to comment and coddle her or support her, then please don't bother. 7 fukkING YEARS OF MY LIFE!! DOWN THE DRAIN!!! I GAVE HER EVERYTHING AND SHE GAVE ME LIES!!! I posted this in
r/relationships and it makes me absolutely sick to see that people will put all of this shyt on me.
It's up to me to be open to her fukking women while I sit on a corner. It's up to me to become okay with fukking her even though she hates it. It's up to me to be considerate of how bad this is hurting her..fukk HER!!!!!
I'm done with this fukking lie of a marriage. I'm done. She can figure her shyt out on her own. I'm leaving.
