Man wins lottery, dumps $200k of shyt onto old boss’ lawn

[///Vega+++]

Sounds like a story from them old Weekly World News mags from back in the day

EDIT: it is fake

You are back
How did I miss this


Oh and in what world is it possible to buy $200k worth of shyt

 

[MyMindWarpsandBends]

the story is satire

Spoiler: the receipt

from a satirical news website
NEWS

GOT EEM!!!!

 

[www.THUG.com]

I recall being told the story that influeneced Fela Kuti's song called "Expensive shyt". Well, this one takes the cake!

ETA: I'm gonna reclaim my time

 

[Flywin Lannister]

Role model status!!



Edit: just found out it's satire, this is now 'Life Goal' status

 

[Devilinurear]

the story is satire

Spoiler: the receipt

from a satirical news website
NEWS

Damn I wanted this to be true.

 

[Rell Lauren]

I respect it. We endure a lot of shyt (no pun intended) just to keep a roof over our heads.

 

[Rigby.]

I ain’t even trying to bring race or nun in this, but the Coli got me thinking

“Ain’t no way dude could make future threats in the media like The Joker soon after being released, and not immediately be sent back to prison unless he was the fairer skin :snoopsmh: “

I literally couldn’t avoid this thought

 

[Kidd Dibiase]

When you know you got bail money

 

[jaguar paw]

GOAT mugshot?

 

[TaxCollector13459]

Hey pal, whats this bullshyt on my lawn?

 

[TaxCollector13459]

The same site that has this story has another even crazier story


MORGUE WORKER ARRESTED AFTER GIVING BIRTH TO A DEAD MAN’S BABY

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Kansas City, MO | A 26-year-old morgue worker was arrested this morning after a DNA test revealed that her newborn child was the result of a necrophiliac intercourse with a man she was supposed to autopsy.

Jennifer Burrows, an assistant pathologist with the Jackson County medical examiner services, is accused of having sex with dozens of corpses over the course of the last two years, a behavior which led the birth of a baby boy on January 7.

According to the Kansas City Missouri Police Department, her baby is the son of a man who died in a car accident in March 2017, and whose body she was supposed to autopsy. They allege that Ms. Burrows sexually abused more than 60 other dead bodies, belonging to males aged from 17 to 71 years of age.

“We opened an investigation into this case in October after we were informed that the suspect may have been sexually abusing corpses,” Police Chief Forté told reporters.“We accumulated enough evidence over the last few months to obtain a warrant for a paternity test on her newborn son. It confirmed our suspicions, that the father of her child was, indeed, a 57-year old veterinarian from Texas who was driving through the county when he had a fatal car accident. All the evidence that we have gathered suggests that he had never met Ms. Burrows before his demise and that he was already dead when the baby was conceived.”


The KCMO Police Chief, Darryl Forté, briefly commented Ms. Burrows’ arrest this morning during a press conference, calling it “one of the most sordid cases he has seen in his career”.

There are currently no laws (state or federal) governing or explicitly outlawing the practice of necrophilia since the corpse is considered human remains and no longer living. Therefore, it is technically legal in the state of Missouri, and Ms. Burrows’ actions are judged as an indecent treatment of a corpse.

She is facing a total of 158 charges, including indecent treatment of a corpse, disorderly conduct, indecent exposure and possession of illegal drugs.

The psychologists and experts that we interviewed were divided in their interpretation of Ms. Burrows’ case.

Some, like Professor Isabella Ramirez of the University of Missouri, believe that the young woman was suffering from a psychosis and had, at least partially, lost any notion of reality.

Others, like Dr. Gerald Porter, a well-known psychologist and expert in sexual disorders associated with the Institute of Psychological Sciences, believe that the accused is clearly a compulsive necrophiliac and that her choice of profession was inspired by her sexual deviation in the first place.

All seem to agree, however, that the 26-year-old woman was suffering from mental problems and that she will probably register a plea of insanity.

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Wtff

 

[TaxCollector13459]

That man cheddar cheesing for that mugshot. The look of an over-the-hill cac about to blow the rest of that cash in Thailand.

Trying to get that Saigon feeling back

 

[Yo Mama]

Hope his dumb ass doesnt go too far and gets sued out of his winnings.

 

[Yo Mama]

Well there are a lot of those zombi romamtic shows on tv right now. There is even one on nickelodeon or another kids channel.

Isnt lusting after zombie necrophelia??? Same as vampires.

Technically, how did she get sperm to come out of the dead nuts?

Wtff

 

[Bless't]

Sounds like a story from them old Weekly World News mags from back in the day

EDIT: it is fake

I loved those growing up.