Married at first sight. Is Jasmine right or entitled?

[Ethnic Vagina Finder]

Did you watch the clip....she made it out to be that HE should pay most of the bills and SHE should pay the 'smaller bills'



She's not looking at the marriage like WE should handle the bills together....you call it broke nikka talk and I call it smart nikka talk

Been married for 7 years to a lady that I've known and dated for 10+ years....my parents didn't raise a damn fool....but then again my wife and I both make good money, we don't like off of hourly wages best believe WE take care of things right down the middle.



'Happy wife happy life' saying has no place in my world....she works hard to make our home happy and I do the SAME DAMN THING parents taught me that marriage is 50-50...got to have a balanced life.

That 50/50 shyt a lot of times leads to financial tragedy.

Why?

Couples eventually live beyond their means.

Why?

Both can afford a $1200 apartment by themselves. So they decide to get a $2400 mortgage.

They take on too many expenses especially credit cards. If one spouse loses their job, the other one is fukked so their both fukked.

Take one of my friends for example. Her boyfriend lives with his mother. She got a divorce a few years ago and because the mortgage was in her name it all fell on her when her ex husband left. Now she cant afford on her own. So her son has to help out.

I've seen couples over the years lose houses because of that 50/50.

 

[CodeBlaMeVi]

Ain't no bytch that look like that asking me to all her bills

I ain’t even touch on her below average looking tail.

 

[KingTut]

I would tell her just like I told my current girl. I'll pay all the bills but I'll make all the financial decisions and if I want my dikk sucked you're sucking it. Point blank period.

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

I didn’t like the way she cane at him about it on the show. Only two scenarios I see where the man should be covering everything: the woman has agreed to not work and be a full time housewife or he’s dumb ass rich. I think the next episode it was revealed she makes more than him yet wants him to carry the load (pause). I don’t think things always need to be 50/50 but there needs to be some equitable trade off.

Like my dad covered all the big bills: mortgage, utilities, insurance. My mom bought groceries, paid for home repairs, paid our school tuition, bought our clothes and school supplies. That seemed fair, especially covering tuition

 

[Ohene]

Her logic doesn't add up and what she's proposing is odd in a marriage where 2 are supposed to be 1. The husband being a provider comes from a time where a woman was a homemaker who would take care of the household duties while the husband was away at work, she seems to work and lacks basic household skills such as cooking. If she were to be a homemaker in full then the arrangement makes sense. And what is she going to do with her extra money outside of her marriage? What could she possibly do with her money that benefits her marriage more than lessening the burden on her husband? That kind of greed is unacceptable in a partnership.

this is what nikkas are up against these days lol.
doomed

 

[dora_da_destroyer]

1. If you cant afford to pay all of the household expenses, dont get married.

2. If she's not worth paying all of the household expenses, then don't get married.

3. What difference does it make? If she has a fulltime job making good money, that's your money too. Definately trust issues.

4. If you 100% expect your wife to split the expenses, that's not your wife, that's your roommate and eventually there will be issues over money. Dont get married.

1. Disagree...that’s one of the main reasons people get married, increasing economic power

2. Goes both ways. Thus the vows for better and worse, richer and poorer. There may be a time either person needs to hold down the household and the person you’re married to needs to be worth that burden

3. I’m not with full joint bank accounts, but I also bring a lot financially to the table, I’m not giving full access to my paycheck and I don’t expect a man to do the same either...I guess some. Couples would use the second income collectively, but she sounded like he needs to cover bills and their entire financial lives...

4. This is a fallacy, especially in high cost of living areas. Furthermore, I’ll be damned if I live in a house with my husband and it’s solely in his name and he’s the only one paying for it, should things go wrong, that’s a good way to be SOL

 

[xoxodede]

Times are different -- I was raised in a home where my father was the breadwinner -- did not want my mom to work. She was working when they met -- but when they got married -- he wanted her to stop. So, she was a stay at home mom mom of 4.

My daddy could afford it.

Most men today - can't afford to do that. That's the truth.

Unless she finds a Black man that makes enough in this day and age. It's rare. So, she has to come off some of her salary - it is what it is.

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

Thoughts?

I actually watched this with my girl.

I've had a bunch of successful black professional girlfriends in the past 5 years and what I've noticed is this... They'll have a good job, their own career, literally do everything by themselves. They'll want a dude on their level. But then when they meet that guy, a lot of them want to revert back to traditional gender roles. The 50/50 conversation has created some problems in a few of those relationships. At the end of the day you gotta find a girl with sense and communicate with her. And hope she's not influenced by social media posts that say stuff like "A Real man should pay 70-100% of everything." Because that's stupid.

I had to leave a few of those girls and let them see how that "paying 100% while being single" life is like.

 

[xXOGLEGENDXx]

Nikkas really gotta stop with this 50/50 shiit. Men are supposed to carry the heavier load. 65/35 sounds about right. Maybe 70/30. A relationship only works if the woman thinks her man is above her, not her equal. The only thing is she has to carry her load in other areas. I don't mind paying majority of the bills if my wife's money will be our backup/savings and she is doing all of the womanly roles in the home. Just as how some women want a man to do everything, but still reap the benefits of being a "independent woman", there are some dudes who want to be 50/50, but still reap the benefits of having a 1950s housewife. It don't work like that pleighboi. It all comes down to the woman you marry. Choose wisely.



In this case she is clearly lying through her teeth when he asks her if she will cook every night and be a woman. *Sips drink* "Mhmm"

 

[Devil Plisken…CMS]

In a thread like this it’s almost mandatory for each poster to state where they livd

 

[AceMan]

I was referring to what you said about her cooking. How did he expose that she doesn’t know how to cook?

My bad. In the clip, when she first brings up the topic of gender roles, she asks what he thought first. He says he didn’t really believe in gender roles. Then she brings up that she actually is into that so he counters by asking her if she knew how to cook. She said no and he says “there goes your answer”.

I think Jasmine’s problem is she’s focused on the man being equipped to provide her fantasy married life and not focused enough on what SHE would have to be equipped with or provide.

 

[Coli Bot]

I think Jasmine’s problem is she’s focused on the man being equipped to provide her fantasy married life and not focused enough on what SHE would have to be equipped with or provide.

That's women in general breh

 

[AceMan]

3. I’m not with full joint bank accounts, but I also bring a lot financially to the table, I’m not giving full access to my paycheck and I don’t expect a man to do the same either...I guess some. Couples would use the second income collectively, but she sounded like he needs to cover bills and their entire financial lives...

Question: Do you expect to get married? If so, what’s the point of getting married if you plan on keeping your finances separate? Like why even get married if you’re worried about access to money?

 

[Kane1]

That 50/50 shyt a lot of times leads to financial tragedy.

Why?

Couples eventually live beyond their means.

Why?

Both can afford a $1200 apartment by themselves. So they decide to get a $2400 mortgage.

They take on too many expenses especially credit cards. If one spouse loses their job, the other one is fukked so their both fukked.

Take one of my friends for example. Her boyfriend lives with his mother. She got a divorce a few years ago and because the mortgage was in her name it all fell on her when her ex husband left. Now she cant afford on her own. So her son has to help out.

I've seen couples over the years lose houses because of that 50/50.

50/50 is working for me....


I'll be damn to not live the way my parents taught me....if something happens to my marriage then I know I'll be able to take care of myself and my wife will be able to take care of herself but then again I have a wife that hustle just as hard as me. WE do it together...she wants us to have the best life possible, so in turn she's willing to put in work. But then again we are on pace to retire by 55

 

[Ethnic Vagina Finder]

1. Disagree...that’s one of the main reasons people get married, increasing economic power

2. Goes both ways. Thus the vows for better and worse, richer and poorer. There may be a time either person needs to hold down the household and the person you’re married to needs to be worth that burden

3. I’m not with full joint bank accounts, but I also bring a lot financially to the table, I’m not giving full access to my paycheck and I don’t expect a man to do the same either...I guess some. Couples would use the second income collectively, but she sounded like he needs to cover bills and their entire financial lives...

4. This is a fallacy, especially in high cost of living areas. Furthermore, I’ll be damned if I live in a house with my husband and it’s solely in his name and he’s the only one paying for it, should things go wrong, that’s a good way to be SOL

1. That's bullshyt. If that's a top 5 reason to get married, then what's the point.

2. - 4. You proved my point.

If you dont trust someone 100%, why even bother.

Most people settle when it comes to relationships anyway so being married shouldn't even be an option.