Men-how well do you communicate?

[OfTheCross]

I'm asking how you are presenting the criticism to her. It makes a difference in how someone takes it.

That's y'all problem. It shouldn't. Whether I say it with a smile or a frown the message is the same and she can see the error in her ways.

 

[Action Mike]

Women want communication but then focus on how a breh says than what is being communicated.

 

[TEH]

I have male friends, cousins and co-workers that always seem to create more stress for themselves than necessary because of their failure to effectively communicate. They withhold the truth, outright lie or become passive aggressive instead of letting a chick know that their feelings were hurt.

People aren't mind readers and tons of relationships have gone downhill fast because people didn't communicate. So how effective are you at laying it out there no matter the consequences?

When men speak their minds it creates drama with women. Look at every old married couple, no man gets to 40 or 50 years in marriage being a chatty patty.

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

Excellent communicator, I have a major problem with people who cannot communicate effectively.

Did u effectively communicate with your wife after you cheated on her ?

 

[Neuromancer]

I'm either a full throttle communicator or not at all. I can't massage feelings so if you want the truth you're gonna have to take it how I give it.

Otherwise I don't see a reason to say anything if I tell you something and you get upset about it but don't change it, why waste my breath?

 

[EA]

Choosing not to share information isn't the same as not being able to express yourself due to not being able to articulate your thoughts.

We as men could express ourselves/vent to people close to us more often but:
A) What does venting accomplish if there isn't a solution?
B) Do your loved really care that much?
C) Everyone deals with shyt so no point burdening others with your problems.

 

[FTBS]

This is true as well. I think some people just weren't allowed to express themselves as kids and that carries over to adult hood.

I dont' think it's so much about being allowed in this day in age as it is about improper modeling. Most adults are shytty communicators. They in turn raise kids that learn shytty communication from them. The key to communication is honesty and truth. Most folks can't handle that.

 

[cocoabutter27]

That's y'all problem. It shouldn't. Whether I say it with a smile or a frown the message is the same and she can see the error in her ways.

Women want communication but then focus on how a breh says than what is being communicated.

If you want something changed, improved on, or just done then does it hurt you to say it nicely. "Stop leaving your shyt on the floor" is different than saying "Babe, put your stuff in the hamper...all the time, every time, thanks"

 

[cocoabutter27]

When men speak their minds it creates drama with women. Look at every old married couple, no man gets to 40 or 50 years in marriage being a chatty patty.

So does that mean you don't do it? What if holding it in causes you resent her? How is that helping the relationship?

 

[BaldingSoHard]

Women want communication but then focus on how a breh says than what is being communicated.

In fairness, the how is almost as important as the what. It's why some people come across as charming and influential, while others seem downright hostile even though they could be communicating the same information.

It's why some salespeople are successful and others can't make a sale to save their lives. The product is almost irrelevant, the salesperson's ability to charm you is of the utmost importance.

 

[cocoabutter27]

Choosing not to share information isn't the same as not being able to express yourself due being able to articulate your thoughts.

We as men could express ourselves/vent to people close to us more often but:
A) What does venting accomplish if there isn't a solution?
B) Do your loved really care that much?
C) Everyone deals with shyt so no point burdening others with your problems.

The bold is very true. You won't know if there is a solution if you don't let someone know what the problem is. Yes, your loved one does care. If they are doing something that makes you unhappy/resentful/ready to check out...then they want and need to know that. I don't think you are giving someone a fair chance when you don't let them at least try to fix something. If it still doesn't work .

 

[EA]

The bold is very true. You won't know if there is a solution if you don't let someone know what the problem is. Yes, your loved one does care. If they are doing something that makes you unhappy/resentful/ready to check out...then they want and need to know that. I don't think you are giving someone a fair chance when you don't let them at least try to fix something. If it still doesn't work .

I'm a cynic so I don't expect much of a change when I have a complaint about something. Sometimes, things are just better left unsaid.

 

[kingdizzy01]

Every woman I know wants the truth whether they like it or not. They then make a decision on how they want to deal with you. That should be an okay thing. I'm just wondering why more guys (or maybe just the ones I know) aren't upfront. I have heard a variety of responses that range from "none of their business" to "she'll leave"...

cuz u fukkin around with boys, not grown men.

 

[TEH]

So does that mean you don't do it? What if holding it in causes you resent her? How is that helping the relationship?

 

[cocoabutter27]

I'm a cynic so I don't expect much of a change when I have a complaint about something. Sometimes, things are just better left unsaid.

If you leave it unsaid, do you hold it against her? If the change never happens won't that just lead to loss of interest in a relationship with her? Would it be different if it was a serious relationship vs. casual dating?