Men of the Coli, what REALLY makes difference when choosing to commit to a girl or not?

[69 others]

@Slimwithafatgirlsappetite
With long term relationships two main things happens. You learn more about the other person and you learn more about yourself. And sometimes this leads to you coming to the realization that that person ain't for you.

This happened to me recently. I was in a long term relationship with a woman who treated me really good, was good looking and overall a decent person but as time went by and I learnt more about her (and myself) I started loving her less and stopped seeing a future with her.
I did not leave her for another woman but I know myself better and what I want so chances are the next woman I get in a serious relationship with would hopefully lead to me having a family with.

 

[Cryptocurrency Scarface]

A high quality woman of substance who isn’t intrusive

There’s also certain physical criteria

Basically be pretty/nice body be intelligent have things in common and don’t get up all in my face over some trivial shyt.

 

[Slimwithafatgirlsappetite]

Its not random and its not out of your control. With all due respect most dudes on here are not married or in relationships and find the idea of commitment stupid so you even asking this question here is a bit if a lost cause.

If you dont know what it would take for your man to commit to you, you probably dont know your man that well.

There are responses in here from married men who’ve basically stated that it’s about timing and where they are in their lives, that was my point. In that sense it is a little random.

A woman can’t control the timing of when she meets a guy. We also can’t control how a man feels about our personality and suitability to him, that is up to him, even if you might tick a lot of boxes on paper.

 

[Slimwithafatgirlsappetite]

@Slimwithafatgirlsappetite
With long term relationships two main things happens. You learn more about the other person and you learn more about yourself. And sometimes this leads to you coming to the realization that that person ain't for you.

This happened to me recently. I was in a long term relationship with a woman who treated me really good, was good looking and overall a decent person but as time went by and I learnt more about her (and myself) I started loving her less and stopped seeing a future with her.
I did not leave her for another woman but I know myself better and what I want so chances are the next woman I get in a serious relationship with would hopefully lead to me having a family with.

Thanks for responding.

Again out of interest what were the main factors that led you there?

i.e was this career and lifestyle related- or did you once see her as marriage material and then change your mind etc.? I’m always fascinated about what makes a man change his mind about a once serious relationship.

 

[Gold]

There are responses in here from married men who’ve basically stated that it’s about timing and where they are in their lives, that was my point. In that sense it is a little random.

A woman can’t control the timing of when she meets a guy. We also can’t control how a man feels about our personality and suitability to him, that is up to him, even if you might tick a lot of boxes on paper.

Thats not what random means at all but it seems you have the answer you want (which is women dont factor into it) so ill let you rock

 

[The Special Man]

Thanks for this response- out of interest, how do you usually quantify what a woman is adding or bringing to your life early on?

Being a true friend. Someone who has my back and help me create our kingdom by adding to it instead of someone who thinks if they just cook, clean, and fukk that they’re doing their part. Someone that even in my weakest moment they’re there to push me forward. Introduce me to different things, have some of the same hobbies and ideals, bring a different perspective to things. Encouragement.


Basically I’m looking for a partner in life.

 

[Serious]

This is sad but I think this is something even most women know feel down.

Is this the same girl, out of interest that you mentioned before? If it’s a different girl, what was it about her that you knew wouldn’t work for you in a marriage?

If it’s the same girl as you were referring to before, no worries. Again, all this input is FASCINATING. Honestly it’s all stuff we know deep down but don’t want to admit.

Yes it's the same girl. And she knew. She called me out several times for being "comfortable" in the relationship too(her own words).


And the truth is with my ex, I used to pray that she wasn't pregnant almost every time after she we had sex. That's kind of a sign. She even had a couple pregnancy scares, that woke me up. Mad me realize damn, I can't be stuck with her. It made me realize she's cool to fukk, but if I was bonded to her for the next 21 years, I'd feel like I was in hell.

So she was less attractive, but that wasn't solely why things didnt work out. It's complicated, but I'll just say that her values and traits were not 100% in line with mine.


Once again the main things I ask myself regarding any serious dealing with a woman are: Would she make a good wife? Is she trustworthy? Could I see myself having kids with her? Could I see myself with someone like her 30+ years down the line?

Good thing is I've come across and am now talking with a chick that is 100% my type. So we'll see where that goes.
@paperbag ( )

 

[DaRealness]

Speaking for myself, I'm very picky. The older you get, the more you've been through and the more you gain life experience, the less you tolerate.

A woman's looks and career doesn't mean shyt if we're not compatible.

The main two qualities I'm looking for are peace and loyalty. You may have a nice body, career, pretty face etc but that's not enough for me to deal with you on a long term basis. Been there, done that. I'm wiser now.

 

[Entropy Fan]

I said I appreciated the response I just disagreed that 80% of women are liars. Disagreeing with an opinion isn’t discounting it.

I agree with you it’s not 80% it’s probably closer to 90%

 

[987654321]

She has to be well grounded, considers consequences when making decision or reacting to things, laid back, doesn’t have to be “fit” but no belly hanging, hygienic, aspires to be something more than a lifetime retail worker, kind, wants me as much as I want her, understands respect and boundaries, can’t have more than one kid, not trying to always be out and seen, likes subtlety and peace like I do, has natural body parts and doesn’t fantasize about “augmenting” herself, smart enough not to fall for pyramid/circle schemes...Anything else is getting onehittaquitta’d, cheated on, and getting that $63.17 of fun money stolen out her purse when I leave out after she goes to sleep.

 

[number21]

For dudes that has some sense its because the female actually puts efforts on making the dude happiness their priority.

 

[Ya Sinning Mane]

she Gotta be rich. I’m not giving myself away to take care help of nothing But me

 

[Entropy Fan]

A woman can’t control the timing of when she meets a guy. We also can’t control how a man feels about our personality and suitability to him, that is up to him, even if you might tick a lot of boxes on paper.

Stay in shape and don’t be annoying/irritating/ or a bytch. That will get you very far. As it’s uncommon and also very desirable

 

[The Fukin Prophecy]

Commitment to me was always dependent on where I was in my life...

In my 20s the only thing I was committed to was my career and living my life free of any dependencies...I had not time or need for emotional relationship bullshyt...

In my 30's after I had accomplished my career goals and was financially secure I felt it was time to start a family...

I wasn't going to commit to any fine woman, she had to be wife material, stimulate me both mentally and physically...

I was lucky enough to find her...

 

[mamba]

So the truth is, Usher probably never saw future with her. He was just comfortable with her. I've done this before. I stayed in a relationship for two years with a chick because I was comfortable with easy access to sex and conversation. When ever she would try to bring up kids or marriage, I'd just roll eyes inside and then reply like this:

But deep down inside, I had zero intention of being with someone like her long term.