Throwbacksample
All Star
This right here...timing timing timing.
Men of the Coli, what REALLY makes difference when choosing to commit to a girl or not?
- Thread starter Slimwithafatgirlsappetite
- Start date
This cant be emphasized enough for op....
Repped u back breh, but i realized OP was playin games so i stopped responding
A lot of women put so much value on being chosen. That validation is super important to you all.
Not to mention the questions you get from friends and family that break you all down, mentally.
“How long have you all been together?
He hasn’t talked to you about marriage? “Enough of those questions over time will have a woman questioning things about herself. Especially if she really loves the man.
So, I can understand why the man quickly committing to another woman would drive a man’s ex over the edge.
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No matter, it's still a lot of women that lurk and are curious about the content.
But yeah TLR hates the concept of marriage and relationships
This is a good point. I also make a big emphasize to differentiate the women who want to be married just to be or say they're married vs the women who actually believe in the values associated with it. Like they truly want a partner and not just the wedding.A lot of women put so much value on being chosen. That validation is super important to you all.
Not to mention the questions you get from friends and family that break you all down, mentally.
“How long have you all been together?
Enough of those questions over time will have a woman questioning things about herself. Especially if she really loves the man.
So often I talk to women and they can go on and on about what they want their wedding to be like or how many kids they want to have but they have never have any plans in place regarding potential hardships like being layed off from a job, supporting your mate while they go back to school, relocating for a job, discussing where to put the kids in school, saving for retirement / investing, seeking couple therapy when trauma or disagreements occur.
some people just don’t have self awareness or don’t have the ability to look at themselves from another person’s point of view. It can be a strength or weakness in whatever situation.
As a teenage, I saw usher and chili in person (they are some really short people). I don’t know her private life but she doesn’t give off the vibe of someone who is easy going or nice. Usher is the exact opposite. They didn’t even seem relaxed around each other.
That being said, it’s not about checking boxes. People have to be able to get along with each other. We all think we’re good people who do good things, but the reality can be incredibly different. I know a woman right now who can’t wrap her head around why she can’t keep friends or a man (me at one point) because of her inability to think of the consequences of her words and actions. She in her 30’s still thinking that she’s being “real” in REALITY she’s constantly driving everyone away because she never takes accountability, she never listens, she’s manipulative, etc. once you see through the looks, the sob stories, the tears you realize that the p*ssy may be good and she’s cool for having fun night out (when she’s not starting shyt with random people around her) but it’s not worth the headache.
It’s like when some famous woman gets cheated on. The first thing you see is people saying “but she’s fine/beautiful” “she’s seems so cool”. We don’t know what these people are like behind closed doors. If someone shows you who they are then believe them. All their boyfriends/husbands can’t be wrong. If Halle berry approached me on some “I’ll give you a life of luxury if you marry me” shyt, I already know I’m going to smash, if possible, then haul ass. Her history has told me that she’s probably not an enjoyable person to deal with.
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the bossman
Superstar
Timing is one part. A breh making good money, got his crib, in shape, got options with women, at 25? good luck trying to get him to commit no matter how fine a chick is. Breh living his life with no fukks given. At 35? he probably feel a bit different, especially if he wants that family lifestyle. He's ran thru enough hos domestic or foreign, traveled all over, he starts looking at life differently.
Level of Cooperation is another big. A breh is willing to deal with a broad if she's a dime but a headache. Not so much after a certain age. Can a nikka have peace when he's living under the same roof with you? or are you nagging, always need to go out somewhere, etc? Do you know how to listen? . If you cute, but a headache then
Ultimately, most important is your traits/values gotta align with whatever he wants for his life. and that's different for every dude
Born2BKing
Veteran
It's pretty simple for me. If I don't want you to leave after we have sex, then I will commit. I've only met 3 woman like this in my life.
MajesticLion
Veteran
Loyalty.
Accept no substitutes.
Accept no substitutes.
seabreeze80
All Star
What made you love her less?
The same thing happen to me....
Her limited sense of direction, always being slow to get ready, never on time, never taking accountability for the smallest mishaps, etc.
I just noticed small things over time, that just made me realize, fukk, I couldnt deal with this person for potentially the rest of my life.
...OR rather, are men truly random when it comes to commitment?
...is it really mostly about timing and the right girl at the right time or is it something more specific?
I say this because I often hear girls confused as to why a man chose to commit to another woman and not to them, especially when on paper the other girl may have been a ‘better’ catch etc. maybe looks wise, career wise, personality or a combination of all of those things.
OR you’ll see a dude string a woman along for years and not make a commitment and then commit to someone that seems very ‘random’.
Anyway, honest question, what makes a difference to you when choosing to commit or not?
ESPECIALLY if we take out the superficial aspect i.e physical beauty. Beyond that, what is it that makes you commit or not? Is it just the girls vibe, the timing, where you are in your life...a combination of those things?
I’m really interested to know because I feel like this question really mystifies a lot of women, myself included.
Timing matters to where are you ready to settle down or just have fun.
Sometimes u ain’t even looking and mrs right comes out of left field and makes u wanna change your thought process of having fun and scoop her up.
Having said that timing is not the most important to me imo
What’s most important is the quality of a woman that isn’t really her looks but how does she hold u down. Does she make you wanna be better man? Can you talk to her like she is your best friend? Can She hold your interest? Etc ...
She can’t bore me but I also need to be able to enjoy her company while also her being truthful even if the truth hurts.
looks come and go but her inner beauty is everlasting
Aceofspades404
Superstar
So the truth is, Usher probably never saw future with her. He was just comfortable with her. I've done this before. I stayed in a relationship for two years with a chick because I was comfortable with easy access to sex and conversation. When ever she would try to bring up kids or marriage, I'd just roll eyes inside and then reply like this:
But deep down inside, I had zero intention of being with someone like her long term.
I’m glad you guys are honest about this because you have some men that will swear up and down that this is not true. I’ve literally seen post ragging on women who left relationships after x amount of years and I just think that men need to be more honest about their manipulative tactics when it comes to dating.
I truly believe that it doesn’t take that long to consciously decide if you see longevity in a partner; therefore if you know a woman is looking towards marriage and she doesn’t fit in your long term image, just let her go.
No need to string her along due to your selfishness.
Nigerianwonder
Superstar
Comes down to whether or not she adds value to my life and doesn't take away from it. And the older and more established you get the higher that bar becomes.