Met with my ex earlier this week. Maybe shouldn't have.

StarGirl

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Hi @AdvantageSouthpaw , I'm @StarGirl - the resident voice of reason. I know you only wanted to vent, but allow me to throw my hat into the ring.

I think you should evaluate what made you even let her contact you/ what made you respond to her. You have great things going for you- but I think they may not mean anything to you. Whatever you're searching for, and I do sense that you're searching for something, you won't find it in her.

She was with you when you were broke- cool. I'll assume she was broke as well. What is the great accomplishment of a broke person dating another broke person?

The sex was good. Cool. Things are better in our memories. There's a million freaks running around here. Trust me, my generation was raised on freaky porn. Freaky has become the norm.

She disrespected you with the "I'm not that easy anymore" comment. When did she decide this? Before or after she had kids? So she was once easy and now, after multiple children, she is hard to get.

But after all this, it still won't matter, because it's not really about her- is it?

You wanna know how often I think about my ex? Never. Because I'm happy where I'm at now.

Don't look for something other than disappointment in the unhappy.
 

ViShawn

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Hi @AdvantageSouthpaw , I'm @StarGirl - the resident voice of reason. I know you only wanted to vent, but allow me to throw my hat into the ring.

I think you should evaluate what made you even let her contact you/ what made you respond to her. You have great things going for you- but I think they may not mean anything to you. Whatever you're searching for, and I do sense that you're searching for something, you won't find it in her.

She was with you when you were broke- cool. I'll assume she was broke as well. What is the great accomplishment of a broke person dating another broke person?

The sex was good. Cool. Things are better in our memories. There's a million freaks running around here. Trust me, my generation was raised on freaky porn. Freaky has become the norm.

She disrespected you with the "I'm not that easy anymore" comment. When did she decide this? Before or after she had kids? So she was once easy and now, after multiple children, she is hard to get.

But after all this, it still won't matter, because it's not really about her- is it?

You wanna know how often I think about my ex? Never. Because I'm happy where I'm at now.

Don't look for something other than disappointment in the unhappy.


Hmmm well I don't harbor any resentment like I once did during the breakup and at the end of it all I think it's wasted energy to be upset about things in the past. Like I said I needed to experience breakup. Like anything in life you need to experience loss in order to grow.

When she met me she was a college girl. I was 27 and she was 21 but I suffered a huge setback during that time and I think I recall her not caring about all that :yeshrug:

Maybe the easy part was the time I saw her a few years back after we broke up and she contacted me NUMEROUS times for about six months and I completely ignored her until one day I answered a call from her. We hung out and we had sex many times when her and I were in town. No idea.

In my life now I wish I found the right person for me. In some of my exes I wish things were perfect. My last one that lives in Texas really wants me to get back with her because she feels I'm perfect for her. I saw a lot of problems and differences in us that I didn't want to pursue, but part of me WISHES that things were "happily ever after".

I really have not found that in my life in another person. After many dates, rejections, broken friendships, failed relationships I have not. I have had success in other aspects of my life. I can goal set and accomplish things. Right now I can buy almost anything I want, travel, answer to nobody. Just currently I haven't found the right partner - and I know that she was and never would be that for me. I guess if I was 'happier' in that respect I would have responded with nicities but not have met her.

I'm trying to be more emotionally honest and vulnerable this year and man it's killing me typing this :dame:
 
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StarGirl

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Hmmm well I harbor any resentment like I once did during the breakup and at the end of it all I think it's wasted energy to be upset about things in the past. Like I said I needed to experience breakup. Like anything in life you need to experience loss in order to grow.

When she met me she was a college girl. I was 27 and she was 21 but I suffered a huge setback during that time and I think I recall her not caring about all that :yeshrug:

Maybe the easy part was the time I saw her a few years back after we broke up and she contacted me NUMEROUS times for about six months and I completely ignored her until one day I answered a call from her. We hung out and we had sex many times when her and I were in town. No idea.

In my life now I wish I found the right person for me. In some of my exes I wish things were perfect. My last one that lives in Texas really wants me to get back with her because she feels I'm perfect for her. I saw a lot of problems and differences in us that I didn't want to pursue, but part of me WISHES that things were "happily ever after".

I really have not found that in my life in another person. After many dates, rejections, broken friendships, a failed relationships I have not. I have had success in other aspects of my life. I can goal set and accomplish things. Right now I can buy almost anything I want, travel, answer to nobody. Just currently I haven't found the right partner - and I know that she was and never would be that for me. I guess if I was 'happier' in that respect I would have responded with nicities but not have met her.

I'm trying to be more emotionally honest and vulnerable this year and man it's killing me typing this :dame:

I know about the perks of experiencing heartbreak. I think it's a great test of the human spirit- but the lesson is lost when the person repeats the mistakes and seeks to pretend it never happened. In the midst of a heartbreak, I once told myself to remember how I felt at that exact moment and to remember it months in the future when he would undoubtedly come back. It's not resentment, it's growth.

The salary of a college girl is hard d*ck and bubble gum. You were in similar company. Glad to hear you figured it out.

Hmm. So you had clearance for no-strings-attached sex back then, but now the price is higher. And she has explicitly mentioned sex. TBQH I think she owes you sex. I say that in a slight joking manner. The respectful thing for her to have done was say the truth. She regrets her decision. But, instead of doing that, she's trying to rekindle a flame. And she's choosing the route of cowardice. There would be more honor in owning what she's orchestrating.

I think it's amazing that you're moving soon. You need a fresh start because you've been Good Will Hunting. Happiness is a fleeting thing- and we can get it from other people-yes. But, the caveat with that is they have the power to remove the happiness when they leave. Money is always rotating. The biggest misconception is that it is scarce. So, you need something of permanency- that doesn't resolve around material things and that is outside of another person.

Meeting up with your ex was beneath you. Not just superficially, but internally. I think the reason you did is because there might need to be a little more healing. You told the 'happily ever after' ex no, but this one gets entertained. We do a lot of damage to one another. Honesty with yourself is the best thing you can give yourself because it's like engine oil checks. Am I good? Do I want to do this? Does this make me feel better? Why am I entertaining this?

Lol, it's okay. I'm a girl so vulnerability is kind of my language. You can PM me instead if you want to.
 

Da King

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Because that ish brought a bit of confusion as to why she wanted to meet up. :jbhmm:

Basically she broke up with me in 2012 and moved to upstate NY. I was wanting her to move to TX with me when we both lived in Atlanta because I had a job opportunity there.

Nope she broke up with me and moved with an ex of hers that was in NY. Got married, had kids, was still in school, got divorced, now a single mom of two.

Meanwhile the breakup certainly did hurt me a lot, but I did a lot while in Texas and took all that negative energy into positive things. I improved my career a lot, now making six figures when 2011 I was around 45K. I trained MMA for a while and competed. I dated a bit, started a 2 year relationship but we aren't together now. Traveled, learned from my past and stuff. I'm relocating to a city more desirable for me at the beginning of the year in Austin TX. Life is good.

She hits me up out the blue and says she thought about me. This is early Nov so I'm like :mjpls: a bit given she has given me breadcrumbs in the past.

So she is in Atlanta this week. I meet her and her kids...it was spur of the moment. I had drinks at this place her brother bartends. It was really platonic. :gucci:

She was sexual with me over text, taking to me like old times, saying she was excited to see me. But when we met the two times it was super platonic and very dry, sterile conversations about life. I kissed her once and she was like "I'm not that easy anymore" :patrice: Which I sort of laughed at. Then she later makes a sexual joke about me giving it to her every day when we were together.

It wasn't totally off. We had laughs and stuff but I just am curious as to why she contacted me. To check up on me? Ego boost? She told me some of her dating follies and it seems between her work and kids it's totally different. She's calmed down too. I wish her the best and I know she has felt guilty about the break up and contacted me more than once but I admit it made me a bit frustrated the past day or two. :manny:

:gucci:

she got kids that aren't yours and you're thirsty for her? :what:
 

SheWantTheD

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You gonna marry her, adopt her kids then she'll divorce you and hit you with alimony and child support on kids that aren't biologically yours.






















Nah I'm just playing, but dead that shyt. She didn't want to move for you and there's nothing wrong with that, but she has children by her ex. Let both of them deal with that, not you.
 

SheWantTheD

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Sometimes people genuinely miss you breh. Think about it. Life is so big and there are so many people in our lives. These people are special because their comprise our experiences on earth- our own little microcosm of human relations. You
Are a Part of her and she is a part of you, no matter how small. She wants to connect with you because you bring some good feelings from
the past to the surface. I can't say that she's gold digging or being wishy washy about her past decisions, but to think that's how she is is way too cynical. Sometimes people just want to see old Friends.
That's just nice fluffy stuff, dude was not present in any of the big moments in her life i.e. Wedding, first child, finishing school etc.

She knows exactly what she's doing. People don't just up and contact their exes, they think about it long and hard before they initiate contact.

OP was Simping buying her a 10 dollar bag of gummies huh what for?!

If she was still married would she have contacted him because she missed him? :usure:

I don't know, it just doesn't seem genuine to me.
 

ViShawn

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Well I haven't contacted her after meeting her and won't.

I wouldn't doubt she contacted me because she heard how I was doing plus a bit of regret of how shyt went down. :yeshrug:
 

...o3

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She's a washed up thot with baggage. Leave her in the past where she belongs :camby:

Chris-Schauble.gif


damn jazz, when you start sounding like one of these male coli-ites............you know you've been on this site too damn long.
 
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