Muslims doing dirt and then asking mommy to find him a virgin.
- Thread starter Gallo
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and your answer is what... to remove the parents from the situation altogether and be like "arranged marriage sux"?not gonna happen in a million years.
The arranged marriage issue has already turned the corner zerozero. The Western World has already abandoned it. There are many instances of your own countrymen and youth already beginning to rebel against the institution, especially when it comes to female rights in regard to this subject.
When you become an adult, you should make your own decisions in life, and your parents should be there to give you their opinions, not hold your hand through life.
88m3
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Isn't that crux of the issue?
What would the point of making meaningful relationships be if you cant fullfil them?
In india the parents of newlyweds are deeply involved in the marriage situation, regardless of how the newlyweds met. I'm not sure we differ on the female rights situation in this issue. Like I said each party should have the ability to turn suitors down, I just don't see bumping into partners by your lonesome all that more virtuous or normal than finding partners in an organized way
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I understand how it is a cultural issue. In the West, you are raised to be more independent of your parents from an early age. Obviously this isn't always the case, especially when finances or shelter are involved, but definitely in decision making.
I find it to be more virtuous to choose a mate and for it be a mistake, than have others arrange a marriage and it be successful.
So if you bump into someone in a bar and marry her = good
Your friend meets someone and recommends you to her = good
Your parents hear of someone and you meet their family = omg! we gotta rebel against this institution
why the insistence on completely vacuum like serendipity?
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Parents recommend partners all the time, even in the West. But you know DAMN well that in certain cultures it goes WAY beyond just your parents "hearing of someone".
I feel you are being naive.
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zerozero, so what happens to these people when they tell their parents that they don't want their parents playing a role in choosing a mate? What happens to the Indian man or woman who decides to find a partner outside of the religion or ethnicity?
You keep glossing over the obvious social and religious implications.
You keep glossing over the obvious social and religious implications.
I said in my first post the partners should have the ability to turn people down. You = they can't. Me = so your solution is to jettison the parental involvement altogether? Won't happen. You = some sort of futuristic rebellion scenario.
What happens before this rebellion happens? Shouldn't we say the women should have the right to turn down partners in the current matchmaking context regardless? Or do we have to wait for every town in the world to be full of Carrie Bradshaws first?
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But it isn't just about turning people down. It's about selection.
What happens if an Indian Hindu fancies himself a Pakistani Islamic woman? How would an arranged marriage go about doing such a thing? Please answer. Does this man have to ask his parents permission on his own wishes?
He's going to work outside the system regardless. I'm talking about how the system works for people who marry within it
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So the system is flawed?
dunno. Like I said for people like me "arranged" just means you meet each other through relatives