I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. I lost my Mom unexpectedly 10 years ago. The pain of losing her was so unbearable that I just wanted to die, just so I could stop hurting. But I knew that I had to keep living because I had to live, for my kids, and for my future.
So take the time you need to honor your Mom. Work through your grief, and let the memory of her help you go on from here. You will have some dark days, but you will see some sunshine after awhile. If you need to get some counseling, by all means get it. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.