My Wife Has Put Me In A Tough Spot

[Nino Brown]

If you're pretending it's from another site and this is actually about you - you should have had more involvement in your son's development.

If your ex woman is willing to give him up he must be really off the rails - too late for a good ass whippin to fix.

Take him in, make him live in your basement and introduce him to the coli. We'll make a fine man out of him yet.

 

[Mr. Somebody]

I'm currently married and have been so for 10+ years.

I have a son from a previous relationship who is 15 years old and lives with his mother. She lives a few towns away, 40 minute drive. He normally stays with me every other weekend. Me and my son have a good relationship.

My son is having issues at home and wants to come stay with me. His mom is in agreement that it's best because he keeps getting into trouble. He's been hanging with the wrong crowd and getting into trouble at school. No signs of drugs and stuff, but his mom is concerned that he could easily be influenced. She's unable to control him because he's now 5'11 165 lbs.

I discussed it with my wife and she doesn't feel comfortable letting him come live with us because she feels that he could be a bad influence on my younger kids aged 4 & 7, girl and boy, respectively. She suggests that he comes on the weekend, but that he stays at home with his mom.

How do I handle this situation? Do I go against my wife's will and have my son move in, or do I tell my son and his mom that they have to make other arrangements? I have a feeling that him living with us might put a strain on my marriage, but if I don't intervene I may lose my son to the streets. I also feel I can provide a more stable household.



disclaimer: this was taken from another site

Ive read your problem and it sounds like you need to put your son in Brazillian JIujitsu 5 days a week and spend time with him on the weekends. If you reject your son he will fall into the abyss. Your x wife can no longer handle him but you and a Black belt in BJJ probably can, friend. IF you have him in your home just have your other kids tell on him and establish strict rules.

 

[Thoughts]

I'm currently married and have been so for 10+ years.

I have a son from a previous relationship who is 15 years old and lives with his mother. She lives a few towns away, 40 minute drive. He normally stays with me every other weekend. Me and my son have a good relationship.

My son is having issues at home and wants to come stay with me. His mom is in agreement that it's best because he keeps getting into trouble. He's been hanging with the wrong crowd and getting into trouble at school. No signs of drugs and stuff, but his mom is concerned that he could easily be influenced. She's unable to control him because he's now 5'11 165 lbs.

I discussed it with my wife and she doesn't feel comfortable letting him come live with us because she feels that he could be a bad influence on my younger kids aged 4 & 7, girl and boy, respectively. She suggests that he comes on the weekend, but that he stays at home with his mom.

How do I handle this situation? Do I go against my wife's will and have my son move in, or do I tell my son and his mom that they have to make other arrangements? I have a feeling that him living with us might put a strain on my marriage, but if I don't intervene I may lose my son to the streets. I also feel I can provide a more stable household.



disclaimer: this was taken from another site

You wife came up with the most logical solution ...you can get in more time with him on the weekend then you can through out the work week.

 

[InGodWeTrust]

 

[Nintendough]

This his first born son. The wife needs to stay in her place and let that man be a father. Thats why mixing families aint a good idea. Too much outside interference ruins father/son relationships.




Of course this broad will probably make his life hard and use this as a means to divorce him and take half of what aint even hers. Typical.

 

[Malik]

You have three kids to look out for. Three. Not two. Three.



Ask yourself....if things were the other way and that 15 year old boy was your wife's child instead and your step-son instead, would your wife let you kick him out because he was bad influence on the younger kids? Hell No. She'd leave you before she let your put her son on the street But because he's not your wife's biological child, it's easy for her to say no. Put your foot down You're a grown ass man. He ain't gonna pull the same sh*t on a man that he pulls on his momma. Punch that little boy in a chest a few times, give a little tough love and some rules and he won't be no problem He's 15 years old. There's still time to have an effect on his life and guide him right.

 

[Raava]

When the wife married dude she should have known this might happen one day. He is growing into a man and he needs to be around his father. She seems selfish. Dude has 3 kids not 2.

He needs to keep the son in-line when he comes though.

 

[Still Benefited]

no wonder he lost his son to the streets. His father obviously doesn't love him as much as the other REAL kids which i get...but don't blame the wife,just tell ya son "i don't love you like THAT,but i do care,so ima just let u visit on weekends,but u can not stay"....and if the wife is to blame it just goes to show he is a coward and his son will probably run over him too....his wife probally knows he cant control the little ones at the house already,or her....so what is he gon do to help a knucklehead...this will only work if he one of them dudes that's so enamored by his pops,whatever pops says goes and he wont even try to challenge it becuz that's pops. But the lack of confidence from himself and his wife is a red flag.

im assuming he was seeing his son on the weekends and obviously that aint help. id tell the baby mama to send that lil nikka over here and ill snatch em up and put some sense into em and send him back when i feel he ready,then id just stay on his azz from then on out.

 

[mcdivit85]

The wife knew he had a son when she met and married him, right?

The wife knew that he was always going to take care and be there for his son, right?

The wife knows that the son will be there even if she's gone, right?

I think the wife needs to remember who she married and what came with him. Single mothers like throw that "package deal" line around, right? Well, this man was a package deal, and that son was part of that package. So, she should've known that if there was trouble that he would need to step in or the son would possibly become an everyday concern instead of just a weekend concern.

Teenage boys need that father figure around as its a crucial period, and his mother, as she said, just doesn't have the same influence on him anymore. If he feels he can keep him in line better, then he needs to do that. Now, of course, there will be rules the teen must follow in this new household, however I'm sure he knows that since he comes there on the weekends. I'm sure the husband will make him aware that what flew with mom won't fly with him and his wife.

Either way, I feel like if you marry a single parent, then you decide to take that child into your family. As such, I believe the wife needs to remember who she married.

Peace

 

[Ricky Church]

dude needs to be a fukking man and take care of his son, if he has the opportunity to help him before he fukks up his life then he has the right to.

 

[b@squ1@t]

dude lets his current wife run him fukkin punk needs to man up and save his gotdamn son

 

[Easy-E]

Everyone (the husband, the wife, the oldest son & the mother--maybe even the babies) needs to sit down and talk.

 

[Sad Bunny]

disclaimer: this was taken from another site

 

[Steve Piffler]

 

[FLORIDA BOI]

Ive read your problem and it sounds like you need to put your son in Brazillian JIujitsu 5 days a week and spend time with him on the weekends. If you reject your son he will fall into the abyss. Your x wife can no longer handle him but you and a Black belt in BJJ probably can, friend. IF you have him in your home just have your other kids tell on him and establish strict rules.

he on point right there