Myth-Busting the Black Marriage 'Crisis'

Blackout

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Toldson and Marks say that the statistics about single black women and "undesirable" black men have been intentionally presented in the worst-possible light. Their work -- they call it "myth busting" -- tells a different story:

Most black women do get married.
The ABC News/Nightline article"Single, Black, Female" presents this stat: "42 percent of U.S. black women have never been married, double the number of white women who have never tied the knot." True, say Toldson and Marks. But their independent analysis of American Community Surveys data from 2000 to 2009 shows that among black women 35 and older, the percentage that have never been married drops to 25 percent, meaning that a solid majority (75 percent) of black women get married before they turn 35.

"The often-cited figure of 42 percent of black women never marrying includes all black women 18 and older," Toldson says. "Raising this age in an analysis eliminates age groups we don't really expect to be married and gives a more accurate estimate of true marriage rates." Same data, but significantly less scary.

The ratio of unmarried black women to black men is not dismal. Toldson recalls talking to three women in Atlanta who offered up three different black male-to-female ratios for the city: 1-to-10, 1-to-17 and 1-to-22. "No one could tell me the origins of these numbers, so I decided to do some research and figure out where they were coming from," he says.

"I analyzed the census data, and even when I used the strictest criteria, I still wasn't getting above 1-to-2. The artificial ratios are just floating around out there. I want people to understand that [that ratio] is still not easy for you -- I'll concede that -- but it's not anything absurd."

There are more "successful" black men than you think. Toldson and Marks respond to the claim that, based on the percentages of those who are without a high school diploma, unemployed or incarcerated, nearly half of all black men in America are unworthy of marriage because of their socioeconomic characteristics.

For this statement to be true, they point out, there would have to be zero overlap in those categories. That obviously isn't the case (70 percent of high school dropouts serve time in prison). The researchers also challenge the idea that there aren't enough "successful" black men for the women who want them.

Yes, black women have outpaced black men in receiving degrees since the 1960s. But more black men than black women still earn more than $75,000 a year, and black men are twice as likely to earn more than $250,000. Toldson says that we should look more broadly at success among black males, acknowledging that education doesn't necessarily determine income. The result is a picture of the number of available "successful" black men that's much less dim.

Not all "successful" black men marry women of other races. To challenge what they call the "cultural myth" that successful black men are likely to be unavailable to black women because they prefer to marry outside their race, Toldson and Marks point out that among married black men with a personal income above $100,000, 83 percent have black wives. Among married black men with college degrees, 85 percent have black wives. Toldson cautions against exaggerating a behavior that we might see as negative, when in reality it occurs a small percentage of the time.

Their findings come with a call to action: First, scrutinize the agenda of the media. "Entrepreneurial elements of America have found a variety of creative ways to benefit financially from black females' anxieties at the expense of black male egos," Toldson says. "If you can show somebody that there is a really devastating problem, they'll pay more attention to you. If you have something that you think will correct the problem, they'll pay attention to that." Think Ralph Richard Banks and his book on the "interracial fix" for black marriage. "He's not going to show you any evidence to the contrary because he wants his book to be bought," Toldson says.

Second, aim to keep the dialogue positive. "Marriage between black women and black men is an issue right now. We're not pretending it's not an issue, and we really do need to have a healthy discussion about that," Toldson concedes. But he blames the tenor of the media-fueled dialogue for making things worse, and encourages us to structure debates in a way that does not denigrate black men or dispirit black women.

Finally, the researchers ask us to rid ourselves of a "black equals bad" mentality. "We believe negative things about ourselves more than other people believe negative things about themselves," Toldson told The Root. "People put things out there without any perspective. And as black people, we accept that. We operate under the assumption that if it's black, it's negative, but if you take an unbiased look at the data, you'll often find that things aren't as bad for black people as they think, and you'll also find some things that are positive."
Click to expand...​
Black Marriage: Good News by the Numbers
 
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Uncle Kendrick

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Of course it wasn't true but this factual information doesn't fit their narrative.People talk about interracial marriage like it's an epidemic but it's really a small minority within the group. Black men marry black women period but go ahead and let the feminist and white supremacist tell you otherwise.
 

onlylno

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:francis:


Personality comes before looks (within reason)

While i prefer black women, If i get that connection with a girl of of another race, I'm not gonna deny myself that just because I don't want to look like a c00n... at least not again.

I'm light skinned. back In college i couldn't even walk to class with white girls (just classmates), without getting these looks from black girls.


:francis::usure::mjpls::martin:



I hated that feeling. :to:
 

Larry Lambo

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Man, this is what I've been saying for damn near 20 years. Like others have said, the truth doesn't fit a lot of people's narratives (both men and women).

Women want to use the "No good men available" as an excuse of why they don't have a man or keep picking the wrong guys. Men use it an excuse of why they want to sleep around and not settle down.
 

NahFam

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:francis:


Personality comes before looks (within reason)

While i prefer black women, If i get that connection with a girl of of another race, I'm not gonna deny myself that just because I don't want to look like a c00n... at least not again.

I'm light skinned. back In college i couldn't even walk to class with white girls (just classmates), without getting these looks from black girls.


:francis::usure::mjpls::martin:



I hated that feeling. :to:
nikkas can make up all sorts of standards and cut offs, but somehow when it comes to race its too much to be denied white women. :mjpls:
 

onlylno

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nikkas can make up all sorts of standards and cut offs, but somehow when it comes to race its too much to be denied white women. :mjpls:

I'm not out there actively hunting beckys. I'm more comfortable around Black women.
 

Larry Lambo

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nikkas can make up all sorts of standards and cut offs, but somehow when it comes to race its too much to be denied white women. :mjpls:

The pickier you are in one category the less picky you can be in another. If I say I'm only dating women who are lookswise 8/10 or better, that is already adding a layer of difficulty. To eliminate all the White/Latina/Asian 8's or better would be even adding more difficulty to it.

It's about priority. For many men, attractiveness is first, personality is second. You've already filtered out a huge portion of the female population with those two categories. It's to the point where you feel that you may have to concede on something. So if you meet someone of another race that meets the bar on your two most important criteria, then maybe you look past race.
 
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