Never Masturbate :manny:

[Ineedmoney504]

I been jacking off since before I could nut I was like 12, absolutely nothin was coming out, The first day the clear but came out I was

 

[Sauce Dab]

You're probably asexual breh. If you don't what it means look it up

 

[cynical optimist]

i tell friends & girls,etc that i never masturbated before in my life and...
NOBODY believes me

to give a backstory im 21 Year old vigin (dont care if you think ima loser, have fun wit yall STD's & 3 baby mamas ) and my friends kno this & they say "because your a virgin you'd probably do it everyday"

Im just like.
Masturbating is trying to simulate sex wit a vagina when a man wants sex.
so i put it like this. if i never had pizza before in my life..how can i carve/want pizza all the time i never even tried it once.

wt do yall think?

I call bullshyt!

We are hardwired as humans to desire sexual release. its not about ever having tried it...sexual images are in are faces every minute of the day and it would seem that way x10 if we were in fact to try to repress it.
You would be constantly on bone and leaking down your pants leg.

You are a fukking liar

 

[cynical optimist]

I been jacking off since before I could nut I was like 12, absolutely nothin was coming out, The first day the clear but came out I was

Too much

 

[cynical optimist]

You prolly gay breh..I'd go get tested for that shyt:web2:

Hahahaha


...tested for gay

 

[Quarterback]

OP, don't listen to these fakkits tryin 2 corrupt you. Do u. Women weaken legs. My legs weak af cos of women. Always dealin w they bs. Drama. PMS. Demands. Mood swings. Makes a nikka wanna commit that

Keep doin what u do, there are many other things to do in life other than fukkin. Like sports. Traveling. Reading. Spiritual journeys. U on the right path, dawg, don't listen to these unhappy cats that want 2 ruin your life. Abstinence is the best investment for permanent happiness. Beleedat

 

[Citi Trends]

you're causing yourself obvious health problems if you're never busted a but

 

[cynical optimist]

depends what time does your girl get home?
cuz i asked her about condoms & she was like "whats that?"

my bad im not some craze rapist sex addict like you, that sticks his dikk in every drunk bytch that looks like a linebacker for the Detroit lions

Hmmm.....sounds likw you need SOMETHING to take care of all those anger issues.

It actually sounds Freudian. Like everytime you get a woody you think of your momz standing over you smiling with the talcum powder in her hand playing 11th little piggy

 

[old_timer]

sometimes people will ask me..
@old_timer what did people do before the internet??

Spoiler

welp, the street corner where i used to hang out..
there'd be all these discarded newspaper and magazines
(a bus stop was nearby, and there was a store with a magazine stand)
so i'd read, chill, watch the mix of working people and riff raff
basically loiter and mind my own business (unless i knew someone)

anyway, i always got a kick out of reading the advice columns
people asking these stupid questions
i thought some of them had to be bullshytting
so when i was 12 or so - i started on my troll
i thought up imaginary questions for the fukkery

so, i mailed 5 letters out (over a couple weeks)
i would be checking.. nothing
eagerly checking.. nothing
then lo and behold, one of them got published
it was about a 19 year old virgin
trying to fend off the predatory daughter of a preacher
i was 12, giggling to myself, amazed i had done it
actually bought 3 copies for souvenirs to show off

then..well, i hopped off that and started doing petty crime
probably should've stuck to trolling

anyway, that's what we did before the internet
gotta take your entertainment where you can find it

 

[PLKbanks14]

Why are you so angry for? Get some p*ssy, or jerk off to release some tension you asexual freak.

Stop tryna justify your virginity with some bullshyt hypotheticals "I don't want 3 baby mommas and std's" just admit you're a fukking loser with no game and work to improve on that. And stop waiting for the "right" moment, it ain't ever gonna come bruh

 

[cynical optimist]

Why have you never jacked off?
Not saying you should but what made you decide not to?

Maybe yall fellas should take this to a private booth

Masturbating makes you ugly. Vigorous movement with one hand leads to asymmetrical features.

i've stopped completely. Still watch porn though

Watching porn and not jagging

...now thats fugging sick

 

[cynical optimist]

Why are you so angry for? Get some p*ssy, or jerk off to release some tension you asexual freak.

Stop tryna justify your virginity with some bullshyt hypotheticals "I don't want 3 baby mommas and std's" just admit you're a fukking loser with no game and work to improve on that. And stop waiting for the "right" moment, it ain't ever gonna come bruh

If a nikka woth the weakest rap should be able to get some from himself tho

If not....yo shítz is a monumental failure

 

[cynical optimist]

even a a nikka with the weakest rap should be able to get some from himself tho

If not....yo shítz is a monumental failure

 

[Ineedmoney504]

Why are you so angry for? Get some p*ssy, or jerk off to release some tension you asexual freak.

Stop tryna justify your virginity with some bullshyt hypotheticals "I don't want 3 baby mommas and std's" just admit you're a fukking loser with no game and work to improve on that. And stop waiting for the "right" moment, it ain't ever gonna come bruh

The right moment nikkaz kill me, thinking this shyt a movie, nikka need to admit he can't get no quality p*ssy and keep it moving

 

[cynical optimist]

You talkn

sometimes people will ask me..
@old_timer what did people do before the internet??

Spoiler

welp, the street corner where i used to hang out..
there'd be all these discarded newspaper and magazines
(a bus stop was nearby, and there was a store with a magazine stand)
so i'd read, chill, watch the mix of working people and riff raff
basically loiter and mind my own business (unless i knew someone)

anyway, i always got a kick out of reading the advice columns
people asking these stupid questions
i thought some of them had to be bullshytting
so when i was 12 or so - i started on my troll
i thought up imaginary questions for the fukkery

so, i mailed 5 letters out (over a couple weeks)
i would be checking.. nothing
eagerly checking.. nothing
then lo and behold, one of them got published
it was about a 19 year old virgin
trying to fend off the predatory daughter of a preacher
i was 12, giggling to myself, amazed i had done it
actually bought 3 copies for souvenirs to show off

then..well, i hopped off that and started doing petty crime
probably should've stuck to trolling

anyway, that's what we did before the internet
gotta take your entertainment where you can find it

You talkin bout back before Atari when nikkaz was playin pong?