New York Times: Men, where have you gone? Please come back

number21

Strive for rulership not equality, black man.
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Yes and no

Don't think that black men are exempt from these dynamics when the truth is black men experienced a lot of these dynamics first

What's happening now is a lot of white men are waking up and realizing that grandpa America sold them out a long time ago. White men are waking up as nikkas and they do not like it:mjlol:
Cats like him are in la-la land thinking they're a step away from cacs and it's the "maga/conversative c00ns" are holding us back.
 
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You say this but you’re glaring over the fact that a lot of women don’t put in effort because they feel they deserve a soft life and princess treatment. I’ve bought women grocery store flowers and they’ve either been left somewhere or they told me “lol not expensive enough” (yes they wanted those $500 flowers). It’s so common lately for women to act like they are the prize and that men should worship the ground they walk on, that the thought of men needing to put in effort comes off as tone deaf. Put in effort for what? To be judged harshly, unappreciated and cast aside for a woman who suddenly feels like she deserves more? Nah. Women need pipe down and accept that they need to treat men the way they want to be treated; valued and appreciated. Otherwise, men are going to continue to withdraw from this fukked up dating game and avoid that marriage trap.
Wrong woman bro

Some women are ungrateful, no matter what you do, and some women settle, don’t like you that much, so they make you jump through too many hoops. Women who like you aren’t turning down grocery store flowers. That’s all I’ve ever bought.

:manny:
 

Treblemaka

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Yeah, because the gender dynamics with black people are at their best right now.





:unimpressed:

The causes, concerns, and history related to gender dynamics economically and socially in our community is very different than that community.

Comparing any of our struggles to their so called struggles doesnt contribute to anything solution oriented.
 
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lib123

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Right in time for the recession.



ChatGPT summary -

Here are the key points from Rachel Drucker’s Modern Love essay “Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back” (published June 20, 2025) based on the Reddit thread summary :

🌙 1. A cultural shift in male presence
  • Many men have withdrawn from vulnerability and intimacy, not through aggression but through indifference. They are no longer fully “present” on dates or in connections.
2. From real connection to “directionless orbiting”
  • The author laments the rise of “situationships”: casual emoji check-ins and flirtation without real commitment or movement forward—an abdication of emotional ownership.
3. Emotional retreat and convenience culture
  • Men increasingly prefer curated, frictionless digital experiences—scrolling, filters, passive engagement—over the messy process of genuine human connection.
4. The erosion of intimacy rituals
  • Shared rituals—like lingering over breakfast after a one-night stand—have largely disappeared, replaced by walled-off experiences and missed moments of closeness.
5. A call for rediscovering presence
  • The author invites men to return with authenticity and willingness, not perfection—highlighting the need for breath, eye contact, emotional presence, and simply being with each other.
💬 Standout Quotes from the Essay

“The way many men had quietly withdrawn from intimacy and vulnerability. Not with violence or resistance, but with indifference.”

“What I won’t entertain is directionless orbiting … We call it a situationship. But mostly, it’s avoidance.”

In essence, Drucker explores how male emotional absence, driven by digital convenience and cultural burnout, is reshaping romantic rituals. She believes women continue to show up—waiting for men to show up with intention. And her plea is simple: “Come back—not with fireworks, but with your whole, beautiful, imperfect heart.”


Also note that the OpEd author is a 54 year old woman and she recounted how dating was easier for her 30 years ago and getting gradually worse without mentioning how aging reduced her options lol.
 

BushidoBrown

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for men, life is tough, unforgiving and will completely annihilate you without warning.
the fittest (or lucky) ones find a way through the hardships :yeshrug:
 
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