None of my lil cousins have kids. Age range from 18-25. All of my friends had kids before 25. Wtf is going on and should we be worried?

[Dameon Farrow]

Frankly, I'm glad this generation is actually sitting and giving this some thought. They might be the first ever to do so on a large scale. The 'I need grandbabies in my life' world needs to kick rocks. You need stable children in your life! Yes it's boring but dammit get a hobby, grandma!

Yes I feel quite strongly about this. Too many folks out here having babies for social media likes or to get attention from their family and they are miiiiles from being prepared! I am all for any and all (sensible and pragmatic) ways to approach fixing it!

Stop and ask yourself if you are ready. Don't just blurt out an answer. Go sit and think! If you can barely take care of yourself the answer should be obvious.


I'll expand further because there are levels to this that go Challenger Deep.

A lot of folks are opting out of having children because of how their parents did them and they really are trying to break cycles. Which is hard because first you have to admit the cycle as broken and not accept it as being the normal. This takes an incredible amount of strength. You can't break a cycle if you put yourself in the same situation ie not being prepared. f(n) = n + 25 doesn't change unless you change the variable n.

 

[Trips]

I don't have kids and have never wanted them. All of my siblings except for my youngest brother have kids and he likely will have some as he gets older. All of my step siblings have kids as well. I think for the most part everyone in my family that has wanted kids have them, and those that didn't want them haven't had any. I will say in my family most of the siblings and cousins in my age group and the age group behind me when they have kids only have a couple. I feel like my older cousins that are a generation before me and my parents/grandparents generations had more kids.

 

[Voice of Reason]

Outside of ghetto families not having kids is common amongst educated Black American FBA families if you are not married.

 

[murksiderock]

*Maury Povich Voice*

@murksiderock Tell us your story…

nothing unheard of. Mom has 7 kids, didn't raise any of us; dad has 8 kids, for 4 of us, never had him in our lives. The other 4 had him in spurts, nobody had him throughout childhood. There are a combination of factors that made this possible.

I'm always surprised, when I meet black people, who didn't know broken families growing up, or likewise, didn't know strong, solid families. I come from a mess but knew both other broken families and wonderful, intact families growing up. And it always will bother me when black people are blamed en masse ("the community") for the contemporary black family unit.

Having kids is a detriment to living your life. You gotta balance in them Muthafukkas and they prolly don't want the responsibility. Kids are only cool when you can give them back lol.

Raising them is a chore.

thats one perspective but to me having kids are the biggest gift you can receive. Nothing is comparable to being a parent, absolutely nothing.

Why your age range start at 18 lol. I wouldn’t advise anyone under 20 to have any kids . That’s some hood shyt lol

You still hella low. Nobody is truly ready for kids until they have them, you can guide mf's and give all the advice but truly, its the experience that makes or breaks you and defines you as a parent. Having them "too young", or waiting to be "ready" at a later age, don't lock in your ability to be a sound parent. Its not a great idea to have kids as a teenager and its not a great idea to have kids after 40 (middle age), but age isn't as big a factor as, where you are in your emotional development as a person and the physical and financial ability to rear kids.

But if I was gonna put an age on it? If you're typical college/university age in America, or younger, you should probably wait to have children. In tge US, many people who go to college don't graduate until 23 or 24, so in general saying waiting until at least 25 to have your first kid is decent advice. But again, I'm not as much of an ageist on this. 99.9% of people with a "teen" on their age should not do it, but once you hit your 20s, if you think you're ready, go for it. Some people are mature for their age at 21, 22, shyt like that.

For the record, when I had my oldest daughter, I was 27 going on 28, the mom was 21. My other BM, when she had her oldest (not my kid), she was also 21.

Nigg@ you got 14 siblings????

13. 6 on mom side, 7 on dad's. Possibly one more on our dad's side but we can't confirm that until he gets outta prison.

This nikka exposed his whole family on some wild shyt.

Man I wasn't trying to

36, no kids

It’s 6 of us only 2 has kids
The other 4, myself included probably won’t have kids

Why don't you want any?

 

[chkmeout]

Outside of ghetto families not having kids is common amongst educated Black American FBA families if you are not married.

STFU.

 

[UpAndComing]

Then they are smart

I don't care what anyone says. The most selfish people in the world are people who have kids that they can't financially take care of

 

[maxamusa]

these new kids are GOONing out of control.....you better be fist bumping these heathens.

 

[Diddly Drogba]

We need more black babies Latinos are gonna quadruple us

 

[skeetsinternal]

Honestly in my opinion, people shouldn’t have kids out of wedlock. Not on no, God is good type movement but on some you need to be intentional when bringing life into this world.

Men spreading their seed indiscriminately and women allowing their eggs to be exposed is not the answer. Kids equals poverty in many cases in your 20’s. Why expose yourself to that life?

Hopefully our community is finally realizing this. Your 20’s are the best ages to enjoy adulthood, fukk up, learn about life, and endure poverty all while everything being low risk under your parents guidance.

Anything else is…

My youngest cousin just got married this year and Wife is pregnant at 32. My 35 year old cousin makes 100K+ and doesn’t have children. Another 36 year old cousin got married last year and had his first daughter this year.

My Gen X cousins all had kids in their 20’s

The best thing about having kids in your 20’s is you are done in your 40’s (generally speaking) and get to enjoy your 40’s and 50’s.

My youngest won’t hit 18 until I’m 55

I’ve lived a full lifetime in my 20’s, stuck my dikk in the world, fell off twice, came back stronger, learned the game and came out with a Wife. Now my children get the best version of us while we are comfortable and can pour into them.

Our parents were on survival mode. Only gave us food, clothing and shelter. We get to give our children a lot more.

Protect your seed Coli Brehs. Protect your womb from people like @skeetsinternal and @Womb Raider Coli Brehettes. Rearing children isn’t for the weak.

#gyalfibreed

 

[badboys11]

Young people shouldn't have kids if they don't have the means to support them

 

[Buckeye Fever]

Young people are not having kids man and it's bothering me. I understand the economy has a lot to do with it but from what I hear, A LOT less people are having abortions. Does that mean that we are chemically affected and a lot of folks can't reproduce? Is it simply the economy?

I definitely think this is a huge part of it.

This generation is more "no condoms" than we were, yet they are not birthing children at the rate we did.

 

[prince_peoples]

Just had my first child at 38

I done had like ten abortions tho

 

[ThrobbingHood]

This thread has just reassured me that pulling out was the best financial decision I ever made.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

We need more black babies Latinos are gonna quadruple us

That ship has already sailed. California and Texas are a sign of things to come.

 

[Green Ranger]

What?

You’re concerned that 18-25 year olds aren’t having kids?

Seriously just getting out of high school or college. Student loans trying to find a job in this economy. How many 18-25 you no even want kids early like that more time then not it's an I'm pregnant.

At that age you are still trying to figure who trying to be and if you do have a job or career you trying to get settled in more you even think about kids. Plus trying to actually fine an actual partner in this dating landscape and lasting relationship so you not out here paying child support and having baby mama or daddy.