Weh nah ma fello Amehicuhs, let da Wurl Hevaway Champeen tell yeh thumpn bout de Americuhn Dream.
Ya thee nah, befo da Republican partay got taken ova by deeth beeyonaire Waw Thrtreet fat catch and deeth fanatical religiouth maniacth, de Americuhn Dream wath thtill alive, daddeh! De Americuhn Dream wath to have a good blue colla job that paid a good wage, had good benefitth, gave yo daddeh a penthion when he retire, and had a thtrong labuh union to back him up if hith bothh tried to fukk wid em, bruvva. Ownin a home becuth the bank gave yeh a reathonable loan, thendin yo kidth to a good naybuhhood thchool that wathn't run down, and bein able to buy a new cah ev'ry yeeuh becauth the auto induthry wath boomin, beh beh. Dat wath De Americuhn Dream!
But theth rich guyth wudnt thatithfied wid tha beeyins and beeyins dat dey awready had, thun. Tho dey came fo yo daddyth penthion plan, dey let yo daddeh wageth fail to keep up wit inflation, dey thlathed yo daddyth benefitth tho yo mama gotta argue wit inthuranthe cumpnyth evrah time lil Billy get thick! Dath hard timeth!
Dith Republicaaan parday put hard timeth on Americuh, beh beh! Yo thun dyin in the dethert thands of Ayrak becauth of weaponth of math dethtruction that wudnt never theya, DATH HARD TIMETH! Thouthandth of yo countrymen dyin every yeeyuh becauth full time jobth got downgraded into part time jobth becauthe deez cumpnys want to thcrew you out of health inthuranthe, DATH HARD TIMETH! The gubment tryin to teh you what to do wit yo love life becauth they tryn to forth errybody to practith da thame religion, DATH HARD TIMETH! Peepuh at da pollin plathes in battaground thtateth lyin to black votaz about havin to have ID, or lyin about when n wheya to vote, or tamperin wit da electronic votin mathines tho minoritieth get dithenfranchithed.... beh beh, DATH HARD TIMETH!
Tho all you lathy athh thuckath ackin like you proud you aint vote, like dat make you thmarter dan all of uth, lemme gee you thum withdom from da thun of a plumba: If you ain't writin' the menu, daddeh, YOU ON IT!
Ith time fo Amerricuh to go to da pay winduh! And daddeh, ith Barack Obamma who gunna take uth deya!