had to many freak accidents sleeping naked...
turned over to fast and meat brushed against the sheets to hard, skinning it just enough to be annoying and keep me awake like
Fart in bed and then the entire bedroom instantly smells like burning tires

...I still don't understand this phenomena of how much worse a naked fart smells than a clothes fart...i sleep in shorts and fart it might smell bad for 10 seconds...i sleep nude and fart that shyt will be lingering in the air all night
I am irrationally scared something is going to get in my butthole...like i am going to bite my nails, spit it out, it lands in the sheets, later on i roll over and my fingernail goes up my butthole...
I don't even like it when my wife sleeps nude...especially in the summer...it always leads to sex...then i got to take a shower...then she might not even take a shower and i am just laying next to her like "i mean you just going to lay over there smelling like sweaty sex while I'm all powdered down smelling like an african prince huh"

...then i got to cut the AC on...then i got to stay up long enough to cut the AC off cause i don't like wasting electricity...and now it's fukking 2:30 am and i am wide awake and now she over their sleep naked and she roll over and her titty bounce just enough for me to wake her up and we have sex and now it's 3:18 and I am about to get up to take ANOTHER fukkING SHOWER

