People With a Spouse & Kids, Let Me Ask Yall a Question.

[BigMan]

I was wanting to know how people in similar positions coped with it all. What measures did they take to find happiness.

i was a late bloomer but no kids/wife so i can relate to how you feeling. i'm still on the road towards happiness but i'm million times more happy than i was ten years ago.

honestly, the best thing for me was doing the shyt i wanted to do with my gf. handle your business but make time for what makes you happy. travel with your wife, do freaky shyt with her, get some friends that aren't her, go on a solo vacation, hit the strip club, workout or play sports etc.

 

[ThiefyPoo]

OP, it sounds like you’re a little bit bored with life. It sounds like your life is a bit monotonous, yes? Sometimes I feel the same way. Maybe you just need something to look forward to. Recently, I noticed I was becoming grouchy. I then went and ordered myself a big two pound bag of jellybeans. I’ve always loved jellybeans. Now I’m waiting for it to arrive. Its something to look forward to, you know? Order yourself some jellybeans, OP!

Lol this is so simple but you right .

Op you need to have some me time for real . Also you have got to dedicate some time just for you and your wife . Have a date night even if it’s once a month . Go do something cool in your city .


I need to make the official date night thread been meaning to do that for a while .

Go have some fun together and blow her back out . Give her some good head see where things lead . Through out the week send her sweet / nasty text messages .


Just take it slow OP I want you and your wife to be happy and successful . I know you are loved but you just need a little excitement .

 

[Hijo de luna]

Just told my wife of 18 years that I'm taking a vacation without her next year. Usually, after a few days away from my family I realize I'm useless without them

 

[sayyestothis]

Breh ull get it on the backend while u actually have means to do things.

Also, take breaks. Vacation. I agree kids from 0-8 suck but it gets better. Freedom comes.

My kids are 8 and 6. Vacationing with them is starting to be fun instead of a chore. Their sports are awesome. Tailgating with the parents and partying...

Stop putting pressure on urself. Just enjoy breh and know your routine is not ur whole life. Keep being a good dad. Bless.

 

[Hacksaw Jim Thuggin]

I'm married with 2 small children and I am not happy at all. It's mainly because of the timing of it all. I take full responsibility for my actions though. I struggle trying to accept the fact that my life is pretty much over and I never got the chance to really live in my 20s.

I never got the chance to be single and explore the world, explore myself, my wants, my sexuality. I never got to chase my dreams and passions. Drugs, alcohol, one night stands in foreign countries, women. I missed all of that. My life from 21 to 27 when I got married was pretty much taken from me. I use the word taken loosely.

I love my wife and boys though. I'm grateful for my family. I just hate that my responsibilities to them keep me from actually living my life the way I want to and it seems I'll never get the opportunity to really experience freedom. My daily routine:
4:50am-2pm work.
2pm-3pm go home to sleep.
330pm go pick up kids from school
4pm-8:30 parenting
8:30 put kids to bed
9pm Go to bed

Rinse, wash and repeat for 5 days a week. I have no time to myself. No time to do anything. It gets so frustrating. My extended fam always tripping because I never come around or bring the kids around often anymore on weekends. My weekends are so important now because I actually get free time to do shyt I wanna do. Nikkas don't understand how much a parent has to do and why we value staying the fukk at home on weekends and having some peace when we can.

Does anyone else feel the same or have the same experiences? How do you navigate these feelings? Yes, I've gone through therapy, suicide help lines, etc. A nikka just feels stuck. It's crazy how I had my life planned out when I was 18 going into college and one bad decision can snowball and fukk all yo shyt up.

GMB


Edit:

Okay, I just got home from work.
After reading the responses, I see that nikkas really don't have reading comprehension.

1. I don't wish to leave my family to go do drugs, explore the world, fukk women and get drunk. I meant that I never got to experience those things in my younger years and I feel like doing those types of things help to shape you; find yourself.
My real regret is never getting to chase my dreams/passions of music.

2. Me and my wife started dating in 2011 and got married in 2017. From 2011 through 2020, we were both apart of a religious cult where we both became indoctrinated and it ruined our lives. I was a musician/minister/soon to be preacher in this cult. It dominated our lives.

3. I work in the food industry and so does my wife.

4. I have hobbies. I love reading, making music, video games and traveling.

5. My wife and I don't get to spend a lot of quality time together because of the demands/schedules of our jobs. But we just got back from vacation this passed week.

6. I don't have any friends. My wife is my best friend and has been by my side for 11 years.

7. By explore my sexuality, I mean discovering what I like and how I like to do things with the opposite sex. Experiment, if you will. Finding out what feels good to me, etc etc.

my stock advice to any man in their 20s: avoid long term relationships until your mid 30s....

for you OP: ride it out....don't have anymore children. get a vasectomy if you have to. there are worse things in life than having a woman devoted to you. put time and energy into your hobbies and once the kids are grown, you and the wife travel and live life.

 

[maxamusa]

You don't understand my entire story. If you did, you'd see more clearly where I'm coming from. Vegas was amazing, but I've harbored these feelings of regret going on 6 years now.

I didn't realize you were in your 30s btw I assumed you were younger. I strongly believe in the nuclear family. You got too much skin in the game to bail. Man TF up. Nobody gives a shyt about a father's wants, feelings, or needs. This is what we all signed up for. You had a dope ass time with your wife in vegas; and vacation wore off and now it's back to reality.
I've heard guys like you start talking to this shyt and I know where its heading especially with the "explore your sexuality". You about to get a side chick or start tricking in strip clubs or on hookers.
Do not let this feelings fool you into some "the grass is greener" shyt and think by leaving your family shyt is gonna be LIT and you can "find yourself" and "make up for lost time" with experiences you never had. I promise you it won't be like that. All you'll end up with a broken family and have your pockets tapped.

 

[1thouwow]

Nvm

 

[Hathaway]