I'm cool with consenting adults doing whatever they want.
You want to have a polyamorous relationship? Group sex? Co-habitation?
Have at it. Create your personal "Real World" set and film it for youtube. More power to you
However...
When it comes to marriage...the calculus changes.
For every partner you pull? You take someone out of the dating pool.
Well thats cool, because "you're that guy"
Thats cool.
And what if you're a woman? You want to marry multiple dudes consensually? Well thats cool, because you're the "Queen bee"
But what about everyone else who is left out?
Well theres the problem.
You create many more people who can't compete with the person who attracts that much more attention...and this is the real problem.
This gets replicated in EVERY community.
If you're in a city where the "top guy" makes 150K...then those guys are gonna get more attention than everyone else in that town. This creates tons of viable and suitable candidates who merely can't compete on sheer perceived value.
What about a bigger city? Do you want every rich guy/girl wifing any and everyone? I mean think about it.
You will always be overcome by someone else. Always.
No matter where you think you are, someone settled to be with you ultimately...out of age, desperation, or choices.
You create a situation where no one "settles" anymore. And if you do settle, you keep pushing everyone off onto the next person.
You want to see places where polygamy creates tons of resentment? The middle east and some parts of africa and asia.
The men there are poor, can't compete for a small amount of mates, and end up cultivating massive amounts of resentment, instability, and resorting to tons of illicit activity merely to define themselves either through crime or otherwise socially impactful measures to fill their time.
The identity of having a mate defines most of society.
Oh, and this definitely applies to gays. Theres a few rich gay dudes who'd round up tons of mates and you'd have that many more people left out building communal resentment for those who they could not compete with.
The downside to polygamy is not getting what you want, its about everyone else who thinks they would never be the person left out.
You WILL be left out, and you just don't know it yet.
You want to have a polyamorous relationship? Group sex? Co-habitation?
Have at it. Create your personal "Real World" set and film it for youtube. More power to you
However...
When it comes to marriage...the calculus changes.
For every partner you pull? You take someone out of the dating pool.
Well thats cool, because "you're that guy"
Thats cool.
And what if you're a woman? You want to marry multiple dudes consensually? Well thats cool, because you're the "Queen bee"
But what about everyone else who is left out?
Well theres the problem.
You create many more people who can't compete with the person who attracts that much more attention...and this is the real problem.
This gets replicated in EVERY community.
If you're in a city where the "top guy" makes 150K...then those guys are gonna get more attention than everyone else in that town. This creates tons of viable and suitable candidates who merely can't compete on sheer perceived value.
What about a bigger city? Do you want every rich guy/girl wifing any and everyone? I mean think about it.
You will always be overcome by someone else. Always.
No matter where you think you are, someone settled to be with you ultimately...out of age, desperation, or choices.
You create a situation where no one "settles" anymore. And if you do settle, you keep pushing everyone off onto the next person.
You want to see places where polygamy creates tons of resentment? The middle east and some parts of africa and asia.
The men there are poor, can't compete for a small amount of mates, and end up cultivating massive amounts of resentment, instability, and resorting to tons of illicit activity merely to define themselves either through crime or otherwise socially impactful measures to fill their time.
The identity of having a mate defines most of society.
Oh, and this definitely applies to gays. Theres a few rich gay dudes who'd round up tons of mates and you'd have that many more people left out building communal resentment for those who they could not compete with.
The downside to polygamy is not getting what you want, its about everyone else who thinks they would never be the person left out.
You WILL be left out, and you just don't know it yet.
