MayQueen
Just here to help you do better.
Ok I'm gonna admit I didn't write this, but it's dead on:
People may disagree with me on this and that's just fine...but this notion that wanting a man who is capable of providing is equivalent to being a "golddigger" is beyond ridiculous. MLK and Malcolm X are probably turning in their graves from some of the misinformation that is being spread by some of our own men regarding basic things that men have always been expected to do. I hate to see men who are so inherently strong, become complacent and content with expecting women to pick up the slack. We are better than this.
I'm in my late 20's now. I've been married for about 3 and a half years. Over time, I've seen men of various ages, both on the net and in real life, talk about how "shallow" women are for wanting a man who wants the best for himself and her as well. To them, wanting a man who goes after what he wants or is not content with doing the minimum, is being a golddigger. When did accepting the minimum from men become the norm? Shouldn't you want a man to be the best he can be? I even have an aunt who got upset with me once because I did not want to date a man with 2 kids who worked at Burger King. The money he got from work went straight to child support so he couldn't even afford to go anywhere but expected me to "ride it out" and pass up other men who made better decisions with their lives.
Let's be real, the average everyday black woman is NOT a golddigger. Men act as if there are bunch of black Bill Gates out here and we're all chasing behind them. Um, no. Most of the black women I know are dating men who make about the same amount as they do. Then there are many who are dating men who make less than them too, so I find it comical whenever men state that "all we care about is money". Men are supposed to provide and it's been that way since the beginning of time. We didn't make the rules.
I've seen women give chances to men who had nothing to their name, then end up a single mother with a deadbeat baby daddy because they listened to everyone else about how they should give the man a shot. In fact, many women, even the ones who you may think are "stuck up", have dated broke men before and know from experience that nothing good comes from it unless he is seriously motivated and ambitious, but many broke men are not. Many women have been used or played by broke men so eventually they realize that they get the short end of the stick from it. Women have a lot to risk when dating broke men.
For ages a man's role has been to protect & provide. If you don't want to do those things, that is fine, but don't get mad at the women who are attracted to men who can. If anything, you should direct those emotions towards the men who are surpassing you financially and use it as motivation to do better. I rarely see men getting mad at men with more money than them, they just get mad at the women who want them. I could have settled, but I am GLAD I didn't. Black women, don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for wanting an ambitious intelligent black man who has his priorities straight. You are not wrong for not wanting to deal with baby mama drama, wanting to be courted, and not wanting a man who floats through life like a lost puppy dog. That is all.
People may disagree with me on this and that's just fine...but this notion that wanting a man who is capable of providing is equivalent to being a "golddigger" is beyond ridiculous. MLK and Malcolm X are probably turning in their graves from some of the misinformation that is being spread by some of our own men regarding basic things that men have always been expected to do. I hate to see men who are so inherently strong, become complacent and content with expecting women to pick up the slack. We are better than this.
I'm in my late 20's now. I've been married for about 3 and a half years. Over time, I've seen men of various ages, both on the net and in real life, talk about how "shallow" women are for wanting a man who wants the best for himself and her as well. To them, wanting a man who goes after what he wants or is not content with doing the minimum, is being a golddigger. When did accepting the minimum from men become the norm? Shouldn't you want a man to be the best he can be? I even have an aunt who got upset with me once because I did not want to date a man with 2 kids who worked at Burger King. The money he got from work went straight to child support so he couldn't even afford to go anywhere but expected me to "ride it out" and pass up other men who made better decisions with their lives.
Let's be real, the average everyday black woman is NOT a golddigger. Men act as if there are bunch of black Bill Gates out here and we're all chasing behind them. Um, no. Most of the black women I know are dating men who make about the same amount as they do. Then there are many who are dating men who make less than them too, so I find it comical whenever men state that "all we care about is money". Men are supposed to provide and it's been that way since the beginning of time. We didn't make the rules.
I've seen women give chances to men who had nothing to their name, then end up a single mother with a deadbeat baby daddy because they listened to everyone else about how they should give the man a shot. In fact, many women, even the ones who you may think are "stuck up", have dated broke men before and know from experience that nothing good comes from it unless he is seriously motivated and ambitious, but many broke men are not. Many women have been used or played by broke men so eventually they realize that they get the short end of the stick from it. Women have a lot to risk when dating broke men.
For ages a man's role has been to protect & provide. If you don't want to do those things, that is fine, but don't get mad at the women who are attracted to men who can. If anything, you should direct those emotions towards the men who are surpassing you financially and use it as motivation to do better. I rarely see men getting mad at men with more money than them, they just get mad at the women who want them. I could have settled, but I am GLAD I didn't. Black women, don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for wanting an ambitious intelligent black man who has his priorities straight. You are not wrong for not wanting to deal with baby mama drama, wanting to be courted, and not wanting a man who floats through life like a lost puppy dog. That is all.
