"As they say on the streets... my bad."
"I feel like a real cowboy"
"Like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. The Big Show is a big waste of talent. And Like Abraham Lincoln, I'm honest almost to a fault. If the Big Show had my 3 I's, then maybe he wouldn't be such a big disappointment and like Marion Barry...actually I'm nothing like Marion Barry and shame on you for reelecting that guy."
"I became the first ever Euro-continental champion in WWF history. Well, besides D-Lo Brown, but he doesn't count."
"The Intercontinental belt weights five ounces more than the European belt. I think it's because there are more countries that represent the Intercontinental belt than the countries that represent the European belt."
"Later on tonight, I’ll be facing the man many people have referred to as the “Big Red Retard”. Now, not that I have anything against retards. In fact many of my biggest fans are retards."
“I am the one who invented the over the top ridiculous winning celebrations, bucko!".
"Virginia is for lovers, provided those lovers are not from the same family"
"Canada is lacking two things. It's true. Don't make me say it again. The first is Olympic Heroes [...] The second thing that Canada is lacking is Memorial Day, which is today by the way, where we in the States celebrate our war heroes by having barbeques . And I realize here in Canada you can't have barbeques because you'd probably be attacked by a moose, or caribou, or even a grizzly."
Spike: "I said, leave my girlfriend alone!!"
Angle: "What is this, Saved By The Bell?"
"Wow, this stuff is tasty. When did they start making it?" - Kurt Angle to the APA about beer
"Rey Mysterio, I want you to remember one thing: you’re a boy in a man’s world, and I’m a man that loves to play with boys! No, no, no! Wait a minute! Shut up! What I meant to say is: you’re a boy and I’m a man, and tonight I’m gonna love to manhandle you! No! Hold on a second! Shut up! Rey Mysterio, you remember this, pal, you’re a boy and I’m a man, and when you and I get together here tonight, I’m gonna get on top of you and … no, no! Damnit! Mysterio, just get your ass down here!"
Angle: "I was in the Cub Scouts, the Webelos, Boy Scouts, I did em all."
Austin: "What do you mean you did em all?"
“Undertaker, if that is your real name…”
Austin: “Champ to champ, I love you! I’ve had my eye on your for a long time…I love you.”
Kurt: “You - you love me?”
Austin: “Yeah. Hey, I got something for you”
(Kurt gets an unsure look on his face and takes a step back)
Austin: “No, hey, lighten up…” (Austin gives Kurt an Austin 3:16 hat…gives Kurt his medals back)
Kurt: “They’re my medals!”
Austin: “You know how long it took to fish these out of the Detroit river? I got ‘em for you!”
Kurt: (grinning) “Oh my god! Stone Cold..”
Austin: “Did I tell you I love you or what? Put ‘em on.”…
Kurt: “This is so great! This is the happiest day of my life!.. I look good, huh?”
Austin: “Damn right you do.”
(Kurt hugs Austin)
Kurt: “Thank you. I love you too.”
"Down here, I see a 7 foot tall 340 pound bag of muscle who hides behind a mask and doesn't speak a word and why, because he lacks integrity and he obviously lacks intelligence. Sure he has intensity. There's no doubt about that, but that can only take you so far, Kane."
"Not to mention our former tag team champions lost their titles after my good friend Christian was hit in the genitals with a hockey stick by a midget! I mean enough is enough"
"Join me in Olympic Heros for Abstinence. The best sex is no sex."
"Sorry, little guy. Must be ‘this’ tall to wrestle Kurt Angle." Angle talking about fighting Rey
"Hey, I drank milk that was a DAY past the expiration date. Now THAT is Extreme!"
"Now I realise we’re down here in Texas and not alot of people here know where Europe is. But hey, hold on a second, its not your fault. Actually its your educational system here in Austin, Texas. It is. But once I win that belt, not only do I promise to entertain, but I promise to educate you as well."
"Mark Henry's greatest accomplishment was impregnating a 82 year old woman."
"If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a loud mouth Canadian with long blonde hair who dresses like a rock star….well except for you, you’re cool." - Kurt to Y2J about Edge
"Because I lost the title last night, I have received calls from parents telling me that their children were too depressed to go to school today."
Benoit: I’m ten times better than you.
Angle: Well… well, I’m ELEVEN times better than you!
"I just want to say to everyone that, even though I suplexed an eighty-two-year-old pregnant woman, I am still a role model for children, not to mention elderly people as well."
"I have a little nursery rhyme for all you children out there, something even the Godfather can understand. ‘You can prance and you can dance, but when it comes to relations, keep it in your pants."
"Triple H tore his quad? Big deal! I tear my quad all the time! I tore my quad this morning! I’m here. I’m jumpin’ around!"
"Ever since I teamed up with Edge and Christian, your Olympic Hero noticed he's been getting a lot of extra attention, from teenage girls. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.In fact,word on the street is your Olympic Hero is considered to be "all that". It's true. It's true. For teenage girls I have a word of warning in the form of a nursery rhyme. " Don't be like the people here shacking up with different guys. Be clean. Be pure. Be abstinent and follow my 3 I's."
LMAO