Random Swagless Moments You Remember About Yourself

[bogey_j]

back in highschool I was walking down the hall and these two dymes walking arm-in-arm (who I've never talked to before) say hi to me outta nowhere..so I say hi back. walking away I'm feelin pretty and barely notice them giggling to eachother as I passed. then I notice there's some 6'3 baller walking behind me and he kinda gives me the as he turns the corner. I know that dude vaguely, his name is shamus. then I realized my swagless mistake. when the girls said hi they said "hi shamus" instead of shane (my name)

I was laughing to myself about it afterwards but inside I was

Spoiler

there was a thread similar to this back on but fukk it imma make my own

 

[b_low_brown]

Damn, one time in middle school I swore this girl was feelin me so after many nights of playin Boyz II Men thinking about her I walked up to her outta nowhere & was like "hey, you wanna go out with me?" & she was around all of her friends, and she was just like "uh... no thanks"

All the nikkas around were like

But it was whatever to me. But I feel worse about it now than I did before

She hit me up on Facebook recently talmbout how she liked me in high school so I guess I got my swagger after middle school

 

[TRUEST]

back in highschool I was walking down the hall and these two dymes walking arm-in-arm (who I've never talked to before) say hi to me outta nowhere..so I say hi back. walking away I'm feelin pretty and barely notice them giggling to eachother as I passed. then I notice there's some 6'3 baller walking behind me and he kinda gives me the as he turns the corner. I know that dude vaguely, his name is shamus. then I realized my swagless mistake. when the girls said hi they said "hi shamus" instead of shane (my name)

I was laughing to myself about it afterwards but inside I was

Spoiler

there was a thread similar to this back on but fukk it imma make my own

lol. thats goto hurt

 

[Ohene]

cant think of any but im sure they exist. i guess i've repressed them

 

[Donald J Trump]

Had this fine big booty sophomore ready to go with me to senior prom, she had her dress and everything, but her ugly ass older sister cried to her mom about her going, saying "it was her prom".

 

[DreadHead P]

When I first joined the navy they had me workin night shift wit this chick, she was maybe 3 or 4 years older than me, cute lil slim Jamaican chick from NO. The way the vending machines were set up you had to have a prepaid card to buy anything from them and I hadn't gotten mine yet. I was thirsty so I shot her an email askin if I could use her card and just give her the money, she replied "There's sodas in the fridge, and there's NOTHING in this office you can't have", I'm so green I got a soda out the fridge and said nothing else of it. Fast forward a few months after ol girl transferred to another ship, it took her lil friend to tell me about how ol girl was mad as hell that I didn't bite before I realized she literally tried to hand me the p*ssy but I didn't catch it

 

[Rarely-Wrong Liggins]

7-18 with various moments sprinkled in the last 10 years.

 

[Ohene]

Ahh just thought of one from last summer. So I was on one last summer bagging chicks a couple chicks in public transportation. Bagged 3, out of maybe 6-8 I approached. Not bad

I was coming home from work one day and was standing up on the subway. I see this fine PAWG i workout attire staring at me like 2 meters away sitting down while I was leaned against the doors. It seemed like she was kinda gawking at me so in my head I was like, "man, if I dont bag this one I'm a p*ssy ass nikka. Let's get it." I was gonna wait til the person beside her or the person beside this other cute black girl with BIG (really big) titties and short hair got up so I could sit down and make my move.

Eventually the white girl seat freed up and I decided to holla. She was reading a magazine I think. So I sit down and say something like, "I noticed you were looking at me, what's up" (straight to it, i was kinda quiet though cause i didnt want the black chick/others to hear so I probably wasnt as arrogant as I wanted to be). Her reply? "Yea I was looking at the subway map *chuckle*" I looked up and saw the map right above where I was standing and caught the L. Just said, "oh ok, I was wondering."

20 Seconds later I was thinking i shoulda kept going. I coulda recovered and flipped it but I didnt think quickly enough on my feet. The window was closed

 

[DaPresident]

When I first joined the navy they had me workin night shift wit this chick, she was maybe 3 or 4 years older than me, cute lil slim Jamaican chick from NO. The way the vending machines were set up you had to have a prepaid card to buy anything from them and I handy gotten mine yet. I was thirsty so I shot her an email askin if I use her card and just give her the money, she replied "There's sodas in the fridge, and there's NOTHING in this office you can't have", I'm so green I got a soda out the fridge and said nothing else of it. Fast forward a few months after ol girl transferred to another ship, it took her lil friend to tell me about how ol girl was mad as hell that I didn't bite before I realized she literally tried to hand me the p*ssy but I didn't catch it

 

[No_bammer_weed]

In '06 I was fresh on the san diego scene, and at an apt party. I was on the balcony when these group of girls approached me. One of the girls whispered that their friend liked me...now at first I was doing fine, holding court and making them laugh. Well the group left except for the one girl who was interested in me, and now she's lookin at me as if to say: "alright niqqa, what are you gunna say thats gunna get me in your bed tonight...Floor is yours"

I ask her where she is from....(uh oh, I already asked her that and we made a big joke about it because she was a black chick from like Iowa). She starts giving me that sideways look like Im a herb ---- now im feelin the pressure, and let me tell you I drown quick, and start panicking. Never regained my composure of the situation. She literally walked away from me w/o saying a word. Two white boys were on the balcony and they were just laughin and SMH'n at me. Traumatic anti swag performance.

Another time more recently, a similar situation, I entered a lounge/bar establishment, and a homegirl of mine came flying up to me saying that her girls were asking who I was, and that I should go talk to him. Ill spare you the pain...I walk up to them and spit gibberish. Just lame nonsense.

They were white too, and I know they were expecting this smooth brotha to knock the convo out the park, and lex steele 'em that night.

Niqqa I poured jelly all over myself. It was embarrassing. I was spittin like I was Carlton. I was awkward as sht

My mouthpiece sucks, ya'll

 

[Ohene]

she replied "There's sodas in the fridge, and there's NOTHING in this office you can't have", :

 

[sfgiants]

i was a sophomore and this freshman bird with a hugeass that i liked were on the bus goin home after school. bus was packed and she was standing next to where i was sitting. obviously looking at me to ask if she wanted my seat, but i was like whatever. then she turns around and faces the front of the bus and puts her ripe freshmanass right in my face, and every time the bus stopped her ass would crash into my shoulder and chest

that was the height of my swagless, clueless dumbass period in life. i said nothing and did nothing. my friend almost whipped my ass when we got off the bus on principle. the only thing from h.s i regret to this day.




also when i got laid for the first time, the girl was more ready to bone than i was, i kept trying to suck on her jugs and she was like enough already you fukkboy. she was visibly mad that i was taking so long to insert myself in her pink

high school was fun and awkward as sht.

 

[Tuff Gong]

nikka, i had an outfit that was 3 different shades of baby blue

 

[Lewis Black]

lol i love these threads i swear to god

 

[Uncle Trill]

Damn, one time in middle school I swore this girl was feelin me so after many nights of playin Boyz II Men thinking about her I walked up to her outta nowhere & was like "hey, you wanna go out with me?" & she was around all of her friends, and she was just like "uh... no thanks"

All the nikkas around were like

But it was whatever to me. But I feel worse about it now than I did before

She hit me up on Facebook recently talmbout how she liked me in high school so I guess I got my swagger after middle school