murksiderock
Superstar
DON'T BE ONE...
I don't have many fears at all, I'm actually struggling to think of what other fears I have. But I definitely have the fear of dying alone...
I've been single for 14 months, and life is great, but man I hate being alone. And lord willing I still have many years ahead but I do not want to die alone. That means, without strong relationships with my children, and without a ride or die woman...
You never quite know how your kids will turn out, but my expectation is that I'll be able to be a well enough father that my relationships with my girls endures long into their adulthood. But this fear of not having a woman, is real...
I want to be clear, it hasn't stopped anything I'm doing, I still enjoy my life. I was messing with this married chick on/off since August---->and let me clear this up, when I met her, she told me that she and her husband were separated and divorce was being considered by both...
The whole thing was no strings attached, and I don't really wanna be with her, but she told me earlier today that her and her husband are in marriage counseling and things have gotten better. My feelings are a little hurt about it. What this taught me, is that I don't give a fukk what a woman says, if you tell me you're married, I can't accept the "we are separated and living apart" shyt again, doesn't work for me because ultimately I can emotionally attach and this end up the end result...
So this also got me thinking about the mothers of my daughters and how those relationships ultimately ended, what they are now. Got me thinking of a few women I saw in the last year, one of em I really liked but she wasn't as into it, one of em I cut it short while she was interested, and when I hit her up last month she was no longer interested...
And I think of my history in general, and I wonder if living so long as if I'm a player, as if I could do what I want with the women in my life, if this is the reckoning for it. Being single in my mid-30s is much different than being single in my 20s, I met my oldest kids' mom when I was 26, and apart from about an 8-month hiatus from her to my youngest daughter's mom, I was in a relationship consistently from November 2015 to December 2022. So the past year of being single, at 33-34, has been a different experience than when I was single when I was 25-26. At that time I was single for about 3Ā½ years and while I was cool if I had a relationship, I wasn't out seeking one and was much more comfortable being single...
I'm no longer cool being single lol
....
This isn't for every brother here, some of you are very comfortable being single. I'm still adjusting in my comfortability with it, but I'll say, some of yall are like me and don't even know it, because I didn't know it...
So my advice on How To Be A Player: don't. Unless you know unequivocally that you are okay with living and dying single, don't be That Guy. Because all that shyt gets old after awhile and at the end of the day you just want that one woman who can be everything you need and live your life with her...
So I'm in a season of working on adjusting in my single comfortability, really considering going on an abstinence streak and no attempts at dating or sleeping around...
Peace, love, and blessings to all the brothers and sisters on here!
I don't have many fears at all, I'm actually struggling to think of what other fears I have. But I definitely have the fear of dying alone...
I've been single for 14 months, and life is great, but man I hate being alone. And lord willing I still have many years ahead but I do not want to die alone. That means, without strong relationships with my children, and without a ride or die woman...
You never quite know how your kids will turn out, but my expectation is that I'll be able to be a well enough father that my relationships with my girls endures long into their adulthood. But this fear of not having a woman, is real...
I want to be clear, it hasn't stopped anything I'm doing, I still enjoy my life. I was messing with this married chick on/off since August---->and let me clear this up, when I met her, she told me that she and her husband were separated and divorce was being considered by both...
The whole thing was no strings attached, and I don't really wanna be with her, but she told me earlier today that her and her husband are in marriage counseling and things have gotten better. My feelings are a little hurt about it. What this taught me, is that I don't give a fukk what a woman says, if you tell me you're married, I can't accept the "we are separated and living apart" shyt again, doesn't work for me because ultimately I can emotionally attach and this end up the end result...
So this also got me thinking about the mothers of my daughters and how those relationships ultimately ended, what they are now. Got me thinking of a few women I saw in the last year, one of em I really liked but she wasn't as into it, one of em I cut it short while she was interested, and when I hit her up last month she was no longer interested...
And I think of my history in general, and I wonder if living so long as if I'm a player, as if I could do what I want with the women in my life, if this is the reckoning for it. Being single in my mid-30s is much different than being single in my 20s, I met my oldest kids' mom when I was 26, and apart from about an 8-month hiatus from her to my youngest daughter's mom, I was in a relationship consistently from November 2015 to December 2022. So the past year of being single, at 33-34, has been a different experience than when I was single when I was 25-26. At that time I was single for about 3Ā½ years and while I was cool if I had a relationship, I wasn't out seeking one and was much more comfortable being single...
I'm no longer cool being single lol
....This isn't for every brother here, some of you are very comfortable being single. I'm still adjusting in my comfortability with it, but I'll say, some of yall are like me and don't even know it, because I didn't know it...
So my advice on How To Be A Player: don't. Unless you know unequivocally that you are okay with living and dying single, don't be That Guy. Because all that shyt gets old after awhile and at the end of the day you just want that one woman who can be everything you need and live your life with her...
So I'm in a season of working on adjusting in my single comfortability, really considering going on an abstinence streak and no attempts at dating or sleeping around...
Peace, love, and blessings to all the brothers and sisters on here!