Rymas Herman's Blayhouse

[osama bin fly]

I must eradicate every single sentient being in this universe, before I can go back to my home land.

 

[kpw]

And if the world ever has an apocalypse
I will kill all of you fukkers
Fear will be plentiful, death will be bountiful
I will spare none of you peasants
fukk your religion, your pastor fukked kids
And got sent to a prison in PC
I seen the devil, he's in you and me
You need saving to listen to this, see
Follow 'em home, cut the right corner so nobody sees you
Turn off your phone
Leave it at home so nobody can trace you
Mask your expressions
Appear to be calm, they won't read your intentions
As soon as you're in
Let them all know who they're all in the presence of
I am a murderer
I am a demon, the son of a serpent
What is your faith?
What is your worth?
Have you felt acknowledgement?
If I kill you now, will you go to heaven or hell you believe in?
Death is approaching you
30 seconds, think before lying in a blood sea

 

[Never Broke Again]

I'm objectively attractive to Asian Women. But I have no desire to bed any single one of them unless they acquire western attributes such as B+ cups and slightly lighter skin

I can't quite describe the dominant feeling I have inside when I walk past some miniscule Korean man and I know I could take his wife any minute

 

[SEX!!]

There's a moment I always dread whenever I'm with a group of women. It happens after we've met up a few times and everyone feels comfortable. Inevitably, the conversation turns to sex.

 

[osama bin fly]

Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like if one of my parents died

I wonder if I'd feel sad, if I'd cry

But what scares me is I felt nothing when my grandparents were passing away

I want to say I'd feel something but I don't know

My uncle died and I didn't feel much even though he was a great man

When my grandfather died I tried to make myself feel something when I was 9 but I didn't

I watched my grandmother cry, I watched them push his body into the flames for cremation

Over 10 years later I saw them push that same grandmother into the same furnace for cremation

Both times I felt nothing

When my grandmother went senile and lost her old ways I enjoyed her presence more

My cousin was 28 and he couldn't spend a few minutes in the room with her dead body with out crying

I don't really know

 

[osama bin fly]

I've encountered so many people in my life, not a single one of them was a better person than me. The human race is wicked and evil.

 

[osama bin fly]

I got a plan.

 

[kpw]

Less human rights, more 1% nation

 

[Rymas]

My best friend from childhood reached out to me last year for the first time in nearly 7 years. He was lost in life. He was a college drop out living with his parents working a dead end job at an auto shop while constantly partying with designer drugs. We went to a music festival together and I watched him get lost. Some time later he came back to visit me for a show a few months later. He introduced me to his new girlfriend who was a drug dealer. I showed him my life, I showed him the results of my work, I could see his envy. Here were two men who had the same education, same environment, but he wanted my life.

I didn't speak to him for a while, then one day he messaged me. We had talked before about electronic music, I had told him to get his own setup and try some real production, he had showed me his setup. When he messaged me he told me he broke up with his girlfriend, quit his job, and was going to pursue music full time until school started again. That's when I told him he knows what it's like now to move with purpose.

 

[Rymas]

We'll have to lie to the rest of the world when we take America down. We'll have to make it look like America imploded from its own nationalism. We'll scapegoat a famous hot headed personality who takes over the country in a controversial and highly publicized election. We'll put him in power under a banner that promises a stronger America for Americans. Once he has power we will move him into a corner. From the outside we'll portray this intense domestic uprising and make the world aware of the strong divide that exists between the American people. Slowly America will start to fall apart; violent shootings and protests will pick up speed. We'll kill off more and more Americans each month through these public shootings. We'll blame it on the poor health care systems and legislation. The entire world will view America as a country that is internally conflicted. The American people will become cut off from the rest of the world. They will grow less and less aware as we slowly put the right leadership into power across the world. Finally, we will make America suffer.

 

[kpw]

No one else is real, I'm the only human left, you all are just bots on the internet

 

[Rymas]

Imagine becoming useless, all your skills are irrelevant, there is no future for your skills, you are incapable of gaining new skills

 

[osama bin fly]

When I was still in school, teachers always asked me questions that I would never answer. Not because I was clueless, but because I didn't want my genius mind to scare away my classmates.

 

[Rymas]

I sit and ponder my thoughs, pondering, pondering Christian Ponder pounding my sister, pondering the lack of serenity I feel and the show that I think I'm putting on, the feelings I think I hide but clearly fail to make the clear opaque, eating away at my insides, not literally because my intestines are clean the thoughts being expressed by the lazer holograms in my genes blowing a load and walking the rest of the day limp under my genes, sapped of the energy that is supposed to make me go, attacked by people that I don't even know, they think they know but they don't know I hide, hide behind food that used to have hide, fail to hide my thoughts of inadequacy, of shame, of general annoyance toward the situation I'm in no matter what it is. What is it that eats at me that can't be shunned, what is it that attracts my attention into the vortex inside that prevented me from accepting the goddess's blessings, why do I do everything I can to avoid seeing concern on others' faces but feel a sense of Realness when they figure me out and show it, direct confrontation never an option, fear of what exactly? Myself? I can fit in if I want, I can not if I want, when I start doing what I convince myself I want it quickly comes crashing down in a wave of second guessing and self ridicule, taking the words and faces of others to be gospel and adjusting my reactions to match theirs, to match their expectations, their ideals, while the I melts away and I dissolve into a court jester, a high brow dancing monkey, clamping my symbols together until they leave and I can go back to looking in the mirror, go back to fake preoccupying myself. I say I want to do something and then give myself the opportunity to do it and a month goes by and nothing happens. I say I'm going to plan out my days but the self indulgence of defying what I know is best for me wins out. Masochism abounds but when I see it in other people I attack them, snipe them with a quip, for I know through experience how damaging it is. I sit and wonder if I've permanently hurt myself, imprinted my brain with emotional trauma that I can't seem to dig out, making me wonder if it's just paranoia and whether the paranoia or an actual horrible event is worse. I carry my past with me far to often, thinking everyone else knows it, thinking my history is written all over my appearance and is obvious to everyone I interact with, thinking they share the analyzation powers of my mind because I've read so many things that tell me we all come from the same great mind and therefore give everyone the benefit of the doubt and endow my projections of them with intellect and understanding equal or greater than mine, always, even though 99% of the once I dig deeper I find it's not the case. Leading me to believe, in those moments, that I'm it, I'm the One, Neo, and it's on me as one of the few who understands to spread the "word". And then I get shot down again and it's back to the drawing board. I take pride in knowing myself and my flaws but when someone criticizes me (offers constructive criticism) I take it as a shot to my soul. I wear my anger like a tattoo underneath my sleeve, one small layer covering it up, an obvious look of deceit on my face but nobody knows which emotion I'm hiding, suppressing, whether I'm sparing them the burden of my wrath or if I'm a blank face, not thinking, not understanding, not gathering bits of information all around me at all times and putting them together like a grand orchestra that nobody else knows exist and I only speculate exists but write out the notes anyway. Here I am again talking to myself while everyone else is even less happy than me, working, plugging, working again, 50 hours a week at Enterprise, or on a food truck, or at Deloitte, it doesn't seem to matter. What do you even get to do with the money if you still have to work. What's its true worth. Small tasks like cleaning bring my joy but when things build up I feel like I'm failing myself, my mother, and my grandmother simultaneously, triple the shame, actually no it's exponential. I know all these things, I just want to read, but only when I'm supposed to be doing something else, preparing, ironing, walking, waiting. I was encouraged to take a couple shots of tequila to be more loose with our resteraunt patrons, and on the flip side get yelled at if a bucket or spoon is out of place or if I sit on the chairs after closing to eat my green beans and tomato soup. I smell the dead flesh of mothers and children every day and get told special techniques on how they skin them on the grill to create a "dryer" taste and have to pretend I care and am interested and don't want to stab everyone in the establishment with a knife right then and there. But when the night dies down and only a few people are left my charm is at full capacity, I get invited to sit with the guests and tell them about my life outside of work for seemingly no reason other than drunk curiosity. I go to sleep and wake up to work on my company with a woman that relies on me for emotional labor and esoteric fulfillment and wonder what I'm getting in return. What do I want. What will happen later. I don't know. Keep plugging away. Maybe you'll get paid today. Maybe the government will collapse and your loans won't matter. Maybe credit scores are bullshyt anyway. I don't matter when my family is in distress, I have to help them, always selfless, my default state, my deep virgoness getting off on servicing others and doing things that hold the fabric of the world together without getting noticed. If only someone kept a checklist of all the things I do for others without them knowing, the subtle movements and comments that push people toward existing as their best selves, the recognition would be too significant to process by any one mind but they would probably love me. Many already do. Many did. I miss a girl, she's across the country, I want to fall asleep with her in my arms. Why is that so much to ask. Why.

 

[kpw]

Leak LSD into the world's water supply and watch everyone's ego die