Serious discussion: How many generations does it take to break the (Black Fatherless Home)?

[Morethan1]

Please don't come in here bullshyt

Let's say a boy grows up in a single parent household. He becomes a decent member of society and wants to be better to his kids than what his dad was to him.

How does he learn those traits?

Does he be the best parent/dad to his children and the curse is broken? Or once his kids grow up and have kids is it broken due to the care,love, and respect that his/her dad showed to their father?

I think we should be having more conversations like this in the community.

 

[Silkk]

One?

 

[Ahadi]

It can be one.

Majority of the time, men want to be what their father wasn’t

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

In my opinion, boys really don't need to learn traits. We're human beings, fatherhood comes natural with trail and error.

As for breaking the the cycle, the only sure fire way is proper role models and programs for the youth.

 

[skyrunner1]

It can be one.

Majority of the time, men want to be what their father wasn’t

Gonna take more than one. Even if you do everything right it takes two to tango, and it takes more than a few to want to build a community.

just watch the first 20 seconds, this is the downward spiral.. We not even at the peak of degeneracy yet

 

[Duke Wy Lin]

It can be one.

Majority of the time, men want to be what their father wasn’t

I wish you were right, but I think it's only a minority of men who are intentional about these things.

To OP it's definitely possible to break the curse and learn how to be a better father than your own. I don't have kids of my own, but from observation being a good father has two parts:

1) developing the adequate personal skills in terms of leadership, being a provider, a protector and a guide.

2) emotional intelligence and learning how to manage/read/interact with your family (and the wider community).

You can work on both types of skills by studying ppl who posses them and trying to emulate them. It's best to surround yourself with such ppl (especially if they're older and more experienced than you), but if that's not possible for whatever reason, you can read about them and try to model yourself after them. You can even just research what it takes and try to acquire those qualities through consistent practice (the Aristotelian way). But that would require a great amount of self-honesty and knowledge about your own defects.

 

[Pirius Black]

Three generations at least.

 

[MajesticLion]

Now.

 

[Raphaello]

Two. First generation usually underperforms (in and out the streets, drops out of school, dead end job, etc) but still maintains an active presence in the child's life. The second generation gets back on track because their father who may not have the money is active and teaches them values.

 

[hatealot]

Two. First generation usually underperforms (in and out the streets, drops out of school, dead end job, etc) but still maintains an active presence in the child's life. The second generation gets back on track because their father who may not have the money is active and teaches them values.

And we have the third generation right now. Look at the youth.

 

[get these nets]

OP,
There is no "curse" or "generational curse" or whatever catchphrase people are running with these days.

If the young man was raised in the Church or played organized sports, he would have been exposed to older Black men and possibly learned from their example, experience, and mistakes.

If he's smart, he raises his son around a community or setting of other Black fathers raising their sons. To normalize that further to his sons.

 

[2-Digit]

In my opinion, boys really don't need to learn traits. We're human beings, fatherhood comes natural with trail and error.

As for breaking the the cycle, the only sure fire way is proper role models and programs for the youth.

So much this. And to expand on the role models aspect, people who currently have young children out of wedlock NEED to learn how to get along as to set a good example for their children. There's too many out here talking trash on the other parent in front of their kids, and kids are smart enough to pick up on that, leading them to believe that's what mother/father relationships are all about.

Alternatively, that mantra of "I don't need a man in my life" needs to die.

Also, brehs need to be more selective on who they're skeeting in, and brehettes need to be selective on who they're letting skeet in them.

With all that said, opitimistically, two or three generations.

 

[idonttouchgrass]

I think we should be having more conversations like this in the community.

Why?

 

[feelosofer]

In all honesty its going to take at least 2 or 3 generations of solid fatherhood to get the Black community to spin back on its proper axis.

 

[Samori Toure]

Single parent homes only became normalized in the 70s and 80s, Even when looking at television shows in that era like "Good Timees" and "The Jefferson's" they showed fathers in the home which shows how common it was. Modern times has embraced ratchness and dysfunction so single parent household is here to stay and it will take generations to fix this garbage because first you have to teach common sense.