If she knows how to keep ya’ll business WITHIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Stop telling everybody everything!
If she brings something valuable to your life. Can help you improve in some way.
If she can teach you something new and help you grow.
If she can build with you.
Doesn’t take more than she gives.
Matches your hustle.
Is a good and effective communicator. Probably one of the most important ones on this list. Communication is about balance. You may not know it yet but you don’t want any of the following:
1.)
The “I think being loud and angry is cute” communicator-These types looking for any excuse to re-enact a scene from Love and Hip Hop. It’s not about resolving the conflict. It’s about drama b/c they view it as power.
2.)
The “miserable fukk” communicator. They just mentally spent and depressed. They literally just wanna unload piles of negative shyt on you. Don’t want any solutions. Don’t want any answers. Just wanna wallow in negativity and marinate in it. It’ll break your spirit.
3.)
The Spiteful One-These keep count of everything you do so they can use it on you in the future. Once again, it’s not about resolving anything. Communication is just a vehicle for control. They just waiting to catch you fukkin up. So you always feel uncomfortable.
4.)
The silent sufferer-These types are addicted to suffering. They may have grown up in oppressive or abusive situations and don’t know how to advocate for themselves. So they’ll just take whatever bullshyt you put out and never say anything until they are standing over you with a machete in the middle of the night.
5.)
The Sneaky Amen Choir-To your face, she agrees with anything you say. Wanna cheat? Sure honey. Wanna open relationship? No problem. You are always right. But that’s because she already plotting what she is doing behind your back, so she ain’t gotta have a back and forth with you.
Instead, you want somebody who has the emotional maturity to communicate her needs and what she will not tolerate, without being disrespectful or manipulative or an emotional black hole of despair and victimization.
Choose your own adventure and choose wisely.