I guess it has to be world news. Tech would be too fukking depressing out there where the closest thing I got to a computer is a husk of corn or some shyt.
World News makes a lot of sense to a man on a stranded island. Gotta know about all those things going on in the world that will never impact you and that you'll never be able to enjoy.
"This just in...massive party went down last night in Capetown as rebel forces put down their arms and partied long into the night. So many bangin' b*tches. Everyone was there."
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