Social Skills Improvement Thread

[Rozay Oro]

It's not only social skills, a lot of it is Sex Appeal that men lack.

I worked out today. Very happy too. Really trying to get in shape before I meet a new woman on an app or whatever.

 

[Music Fiend]

Public speaking class / Toastmasters helps.

Also improving your EQ, is very important to having great social skills as well.

But it all goes back to confidence at the end of the day. Once you’ve focused on building yourself, having a set of skills, purpose, etc, talking to people is easy.

& be open to trying new things outside of your comfort zone. This helps to converse with all kinds of people.

As a former shy breh, I think the better analogy is that yiu beat these things in reverse. It all calls for a level of commitment stepping out tour comfort zone for future possibilities.

the issue with awkward/people lack inf social skills, is the life developed around them prevents growth.

you really gotta approach and submerge yourself into new situations, fail, win, whatever and keep pushing and trying. You will naturally develop and not even notice.

toastmasters can be good situationally, as in flight vs fight. But you can do your own toastmasters by just following what your mind wants rather than how you feel.

long story long, shyt is really about exposure and taking risks that arent calculated. You see a bad chick, you look, just approach. You're going to be lame and catch Ls. But you'll also build a thicker skin to unknown outcomes

 

[MenacingMonk]

If public speaking is something you're shy about, and there comes a time where you have to do it, don't make eye contact with anyone.

 

[hostsamurai]

But I'm really bad at initiating conversations with strangers. I can do fine if they come and talk to me, but I've never really tried or been good at starting conversations with people I don't already know. The exception is when there is a "reason" to talk to someone. Like you know, if you're in an office or classroom or at a party you can go talk to people because your "reason" is that you're doing the same activity in the same room.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't cold approach people, I can't stop someone on the street and start a conversation. That's what I consider to be elite level social skills, when you can talk to literally anybody in the most random scenarios.

It's always been said but learning it's okay to interrupt someone's day is the most fundamental and effective way to improve social skills. Even learning it's okay to say dumb things is very powerful. All you need to do is start off easy and just ask people for the time or ask people for directions. When you get comfortable ask for opinions.

 

[cjt11203]

Having a reading habit has helped me have better conversations.

 

[Rozay Oro]

As a former shy breh, I think the better analogy is that yiu beat these things in reverse. It all calls for a level of commitment stepping out tour comfort zone for future possibilities.

the issue with awkward/people lack inf social skills, is the life developed around them prevents growth.

you really gotta approach and submerge yourself into new situations, fail, win, whatever and keep pushing and trying. You will naturally develop and not even notice.

toastmasters can be good situationally, as in flight vs fight. But you can do your own toastmasters by just following what your mind wants rather than how you feel.

long story long, shyt is really about exposure and taking risks that arent calculated. You see a bad chick, you look, just approach. You're going to be lame and catch Ls. But you'll also build a thicker skin to unknown outcomes

Life’s a bytch

 

[Thurgood Thurston III]

I guess, but Social Skills alone gets you further than anything else. Look at how many seemingly, normal-looking guys struggle with talking to girls. shyt, I've seen handsome () brehs struggle with pulling chicks because they always try to act like a clown instead of just being themselves.

No. Those were guys YOU thought were handsome.

The guys that I've seen who women thought were handsome are able to bag them while mumbling and looking down on the ground.

I think the first step to actually improving your social skills with women is ADMITTING that there is nothing you can say that'll make a woman want you.

That is the cheat code guys. Stop letting these dudes lie to you and tell you that looks don't matter. Looks DO matter. They matter more than anything else.

And guess what?

That's a GOOD thing. Because now you don't don't have to overthink. You don't have to craft complicated lines. Most women make their decision before you even open your mouth. All you have to do is be in her presence and talk about whatever the fukk you want.

Just remember to ESCALATE.

All of this, however, is in regards to dating women. You still need proper social skills for getting through life in general. And those skills will indeed help you navigate a relationship with a woman beyond just getting sex.

 

[King]

As a former shy breh, I think the better analogy is that yiu beat these things in reverse. It all calls for a level of commitment stepping out tour comfort zone for future possibilities.

the issue with awkward/people lack inf social skills, is the life developed around them prevents growth.

you really gotta approach and submerge yourself into new situations, fail, win, whatever and keep pushing and trying. You will naturally develop and not even notice.

toastmasters can be good situationally, as in flight vs fight. But you can do your own toastmasters by just following what your mind wants rather than how you feel.

long story long, shyt is really about exposure and taking risks that arent calculated. You see a bad chick, you look, just approach. You're going to be lame and catch Ls. But you'll also build a thicker skin to unknown outcomes

Rep, this is what I need to work on.

Everyday is a struggle ngl

 

[Guile]

Yeah, help me make small talk with the shorty in the gas station line talking about how she hates condoms...

 

[hostsamurai]

Something that was a breakthrough was realizing I never found someone initiating conversation with me weird/awkward in and of itself, so why would someone find it weird if I did the same. It helped me out quite a bit when I was doing short term temp jobs and I had to meet and work around new people every other week.

It still didn't mean I had something to say to these people. No, my mind was still mostly blank, but just knowing opening a conversation with anyone was normal definitely loosened me up.

 

[LordLyons]

One thing I need to improve on is responding "good. What about you?" when somebody asks me how my day is going. Too many times I just say "good" and I know it's rude.

 

[Tair]

So last couple of years I worked with at-risk high schoolers (in-between other shyt) to help them build self-confidence. I have a girl's group and a boy's group at a school. Trying to expand to "emergent/transitional adults" or at-risk young adults that have just graduated between the ages 18-25 because they are particularly vulnerable but I don't have time right now.

If somebody got some business acumen about them, cities and major communities would pay some big bucks to contract with companies focused on this major need.

A few things we talk about in group

1.) Stop living in your head
2.) Internet Anonymity Audacity vs. Real Life Anxiety
3.) Real Life Factors Contributing to social anxiety
4.) Realizing You are Just as Important as Anyone Else
5.) Cultivating a Sense of Adventure
6.) People as Human Beings, Not Just Objects of Your Desire
7.) Building capacity for empathy
8.) Facing and handling Rejection
9.) Putting Yourself Out There
I'm trying to remember some of our other topics too. I think we did one on building intrinsic values, and communication skills.

Bump.

People need to read and internalize the advice given in this thread.

 

[ConPHIdential]

I always recommend that people get into sales, even if it's just for a couple of months. It forces you to talk to people.

I’ve been in sales for 10+ years and can co-sign on this.

 

[Magic Mulatto]

 

[13473]

are u practicing